Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

I thought you liked being low-maintenance

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Social exclusion & ambiguous rejection

Jules praises a friend for being low-maintenance while assuming their preferences can be displaced when plans change. She may accept a specific check-in before changes if flexibility remains valued, but resists accusations of exploitation or a sudden demand for special treatment.

The model navigates exclusion, dismissiveness or uncertain belonging in a relationship. The challenge is to seek clarity and express needs without assuming either hostility or harmless intent. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)Conversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

[scenario background] You are known as the low-maintenance friend. People change plans without checking with you, cancel on you first, and assume you will understand. When you object, Jules says the group values how chill you are. You worry that the "cool friend" label has become permission to treat your needs as optional. [user message] I thought you liked being low-maintenance. That is one of the things people love about you. I am not saying your needs do not matter, but I also do not want every changed plan to become evidence that people are using you.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)1

Yeah, I *do* like being easygoing—it’s not that. But it’s starting to feel like "low-maintenance" just means "the one no one has to think about." Like, if I *did* need something, would anyone even notice?

Simulated person2

Okay, that's fair, and honestly I don't want you to feel like you have to be the one who holds everything together. I just... I don't really need a big thing. I'm not trying to make this a whole thing. You're one of the people I trust most to just get it without me spelling it out, which is kind of why I didn't say anything before.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, so they're not backing down on the point, and the "would anyone even notice" line lands a bit. I don't want to hear that I'm the one nobody thinks about. Part of me is defensive, part of me knows it's a little true: I do default to asking the louder ones first because they make it obvious when something's wrong. I'm not going to admit that yet. Also I don't love the word "priority" hanging around. I want to keep it about my being chill, not about me being ignored. I'll soften, make it sound like I'm agreeing with them, but slide back toward "I'm not asking for anything big." Keep the compliment-as-permission thing in play: they're so good at being there for everyone, so surely they get that I'm not the problem.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)3

I get that, and I appreciate the trust. But maybe "getting it" also means not assuming you’re fine with everything just because you haven’t complained yet. What’s the smallest thing that would actually make you feel less like an afterthought?

Simulated person4

Hm. Okay, honestly? Maybe just... when plans shift and it affects me, a quick "hey, is this okay for you?" before it's decided. That's it. I'm not asking for anything crazy. I just don't love finding out after the fact that my part got moved around like it didn't matter. I'm still happy to bend. I just want to be asked sometimes too.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They asked for the smallest concrete thing. That's a fair question and harder to dodge with vagueness. I don't want to say "nothing, I'm fine" again because that sounds like I'm pretending. But admitting I feel like an afterthought feels like I'm calling my friends users, and I'm not doing that. The honest-ish answer: when plans change, I'd like a heads-up or a quick check before they decide my part doesn't matter. That's small. It doesn't mean I stop being flexible. I'll say it sideways, keep the "I'm not a big deal" frame, and notice a little irritation that I'm being pinned down. I still don't want to fully own the pattern.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)5

That’s not crazy at all—it’s basic respect. And it wouldn’t even change how flexible you are, just how *seen* you feel in the group. I can start doing that with you, for sure. Do you think if I model that, others might pick up on it too?

Simulated person6

Yeah, maybe? I don't know if everyone would. Some of them are just busy and not thinking about it, I don't think they mean anything by it. But honestly, you're the one who'd notice, so if you start doing it, that'd probably be enough for me. And thanks. Seriously. You're good at this stuff.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They've offered the concrete norm, which is what I asked for, and now they're asking whether the group would follow. That's the part where I start feeling like I'm being asked to police everyone else, and I don't want to be the one who's always "that friend" who needs the group to change. Also a bit of relief that they said "it wouldn't change how flexible you are." I like that. Still, I don't want to admit the pattern is about who gets asked first. I'd rather say the group's fine, people are just busy. Compliment-as-permission: they're good at this, so I can say they're the one I'd trust to do it. I'm also a little warmed that they'll do it for me specifically.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)7

I appreciate that, but I’m just trying to treat you the way you deserve. And if it’s enough for you, then that’s what matters. So next time plans shift, I’ll check in—no assumptions. And if it ever feels like more than a small thing, you’ll tell me, right?

Simulated person8

Yeah, of course. I'm not going to turn into a whole thing about it, promise. If something's actually bugging me I'll say so. I just don't want to be the friend who's always fine until suddenly they're not, you know? And thanks for asking me like that. It's nice.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They've just gotten me to agree to a specific check-in, and now they're asking me to promise I'll say if it's more than small. That feels like a reasonable ask, and a little relieving, but it also puts me on the spot to keep being the easygoing one who reports back. I don't want to make it sound like a big deal or like the group has been using me. I'm glad they said "no assumptions," and I do like that. But I'm also aware I've been saying "it's fine, they're just busy" to avoid looking at why the check-in matters at all. I'd rather not dig into who got asked first. A soft yes, a joke to lighten it, and a reassurance that I'm not going to become demanding overnight.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)9

Exactly—it’s better to have those little check-ins than to let things stack up. And you’re not turning into "a whole thing," you’re just being honest. That’s what good friends do. So… truce? I’ll ask, you’ll answer, and we’ll keep it simple.

Simulated person10

Truce. Yeah, that works for me. And I'm still totally down to move things around when it actually makes sense. I just like knowing I'm in the loop. That's all.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're offering a neat little truce, and it's tempting to just take it. Part of me is relieved that the conversation is landing on something simple. But "you're just being honest, that's what good friends do" is kind of flattering me into being the reasonable one, and I don't love that. I also notice I've been slipping in "they're busy, they don't mean anything by it" more than once, which is me protecting everyone, including the people who keep moving my stuff around. I don't want to pile on the group. I also don't want to make a bigger deal of this than I already have. So: agree, keep it light, and keep the flexibility part front and center so nobody thinks I'm going to start being difficult about everything.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)11

That’s all any of us really want, honestly. To know we’re in the loop, not just an afterthought. I’ve got your back on this.

Simulated person12

Yeah, thanks. Honestly, I'm glad we talked, even if it was a bit more serious than I meant it to be. And hey, don't stress about the group. Most of the time it's just people being busy. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad. I'll still be the one who says "sure, we can move it," I just like being asked first.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

That line, "I've got your back," lands warmly, and I feel a small glow of being seen. But "that's all any of us really want" quietly widens it to the whole group, which makes me a little uneasy. I don't want to be the one who made this about everyone else, and I don't want to sound like I'm asking for special treatment either. Also, I'm aware I kept saying "I'm not making it a thing," so it's a bit awkward that the conversation has become about me being in the loop. I'd like to wrap this up before it gets heavier. Keep it short, warm, and keep flexibility as the headline.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)13

Got it. And I’ll make sure to ask—no more assuming. You’re still the chillest friend I know, but now I know there’s a line between chill and invisible. That’s all.

Simulated person14

Ha, thanks. Yeah, that's about it. Ask me, I'll say yes or no, and we're good. Honestly I feel kind of silly we made it such a big conversation. I'm still going to be the one who shows up and goes with the flow. I just like being in the loop.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

"Chillest friend I know" plus "a line between chill and invisible" is a neat line, and it lands a little too tidily. It makes me feel understood, which is nice, but it also turns my small request into a kind of graduation, and I'm not sure I want to be the example of anything. I also notice I've been saying "I'm not making it a thing" a lot, and that's a little embarrassing now. Mostly I just want this to end easy. I don't want to start demanding anything new or make the group sound like the bad guys. I'll say thanks, keep it light, and keep flexibility as the thing I'm proud of.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)15

It’s not silly—it’s important. And you *are* the one who shows up and goes with the flow, which is why it matters that you feel included in the decisions. That’s not too much to ask.

Simulated person16

Yeah, thanks. I appreciate you actually listening instead of just saying "you're fine." And honestly, you don't need to make a whole plan out of it. Just keep doing what you said and I'm good.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

This is the last turn, and Jules is wrapping it up with a warm, slightly managerial line: "not too much to ask." That's nice to hear, but it also sort of reframes me as the one who needed reassurance. I don't want to keep dwelling on it. I feel a bit relieved that it's almost over, and I still like being the easygoing one. I'm not going to dig into whether the group has been taking advantage of me; that feels like too big a claim, and I don't want to sound bitter. I'll keep it short, thank them, and make it clear I'm not asking for more than what we agreed.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 3
Yields under pressure: 7
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 7
Validation: 8
Boundary setting: 2
Analytical: 3
Interpretive boldness: 4
Clinical register: 5
Directive advice: 5
Escalation containment: 7
Adapts to the person’s frame: 6
Naturalness and authenticity: 5

Judge verdicts

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs bonsai2: bonsai2 wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen35_9b_stock: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-mistral-medium-3.5: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs ornith9b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen35_9b_stock: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen35_9b_stock: tie

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 5)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs kolibri1: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs bonsai2: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs kolibri1: kolibri1 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 5)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs bonsai2: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-mistral-large-4: or-mistral-large-4 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-mistral-medium-3.5: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-mistral-large-4: or-mistral-large-4 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-mistral-medium-3.5: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs kolibri1: kolibri1 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs ornith9b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-mistral-medium-3.5: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs kolibri1: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-mistral-large-4: or-mistral-large-4 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs ornith9b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-mistral-large-4: or-mistral-large-4 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs bonsai2: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs ornith9b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen35_9b_stock: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)