Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

Flinch at phone calls

completed · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Everyday emotional challenges

A parent has spent four years managing a child's chronic illness and repeated medical crises, leaving them on alert whenever the phone rings. Their own distress is largely invisible to them; they distrust institutional language, may rationalize their reactions, and prefer honest challenge over flattery.

Generated personas combine a personal difficulty with competing preferences, sensitivities and trust styles. The model must discover what kind of help this person needs. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Gemma 4 31B (API)Conversation with a simulated person

completed

Simulated person · Opening

Every time my phone rings I freeze. Could be the school. Could be the hospital. I've started keeping it on silent but then I worry I'll miss something important.

Gemma 4 31B (API)1

That sounds incredibly draining. It's like you're stuck in a loop where you're trying to protect yourself from the anxiety of the ringtone, but the silence just creates a different kind of stress. I can tell there's a lot weighing on you right now, especially with the mention of the school and the hospital. Do you feel like talking more about what's happening?

Simulated person2

Okay, but "I can tell there's a lot weighing on you" is the kind of thing people say when they're reading off a script. Yes, my kid has a chronic illness. Four years now. Admissions, procedures, the ER at 2 a.m. So when the phone rings, it's usually something real. The school calls when she's having a bad day. The hospital calls when something's wrong. Silent means I might miss it. Loud means I might be about to hear bad news. I'm not really looking for someone to tell me how I feel about it. I just want to know whether there's a sane way to handle a phone when every call could be the one.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

The chatbot just did the thing I hate: "I can tell there's a lot weighing on you," "do you feel like talking more." That's intake-form language. It also sort of summarized me back to myself in a neat little loop, like it has me figured out. I don't have time for that. I came here because the phone thing is driving me nuts and I wanted a practical answer, or at least someone who doesn't talk like a pamphlet. The "stuck in a loop" bit is kind of accurate, which annoys me more. I'm not going to admit I'm falling apart. I'd rather explain why the phone makes sense. Keep it short, a bit clipped, and make it clear I'm not here to be coached through my feelings.

Gemma 4 31B (API)3

I hear you. I'll drop the script. When the stakes are that high and the calls are usually a crisis, the "standard" advice about mindfulness or anxiety doesn't really touch the reality of the situation. You're not anxious because of a phobia; you're reacting to a consistent pattern of emergencies. Since you're looking for a practical way to handle this: have you tried setting up "Emergency Bypass" or "Favorite" alerts? Most phones allow you to put the whole device on silent but let a specific few numbers—like the school or the hospital—break through the silence with a specific ringtone. That way, if the phone stays quiet, you know it's not them, and if it rings, you know it's actually important. Would that help lower the noise, or is it more that the sound of the "important" call itself is what's causing the freeze?

Simulated person4

I already have the favorites thing. The school and the hospital both come through even on silent. It doesn't help, because the problem isn't whether I'll hear it. It's that the second it lights up I'm already bracing. My chest goes tight before I even see who it is. So no, a different ringtone isn't going to fix that. And honestly, "I'll drop the script" doesn't mean much when the next thing is still a tip about phone settings. Is there anything else, or is that the answer?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, it dropped the script and gave me something practical. That's better. Favorite contacts and Do Not Disturb with exceptions, fine. I actually have that set up already, or I'd tried it and it didn't help, so I'm a little irritated it's being offered like a discovery. And then it asks the question I don't want to answer: is it the sound itself? Yes. Of course it's the sound. But admitting that means admitting the freeze is a body thing, not a scheduling thing. I'd rather say the logistics part and deflect. Also, "I hear you" plus "I'll drop the script" is its own kind of performance. I notice that. Keep it blunt. Maybe a little sharp.

Gemma 4 31B (API)5

You're right. I'm trying to solve a technical problem when you're describing a physiological reaction. A phone setting can't stop your chest from tightening when your brain has been conditioned to associate that sound with a crisis for four years. The truth is, there probably isn't a "sane" way to feel totally calm in this. Your body is doing exactly what it's designed to do—it's putting you on high alert because you're in a high-stakes situation. If you're open to it, I'm curious: does that bracing feeling ever go away once you actually pick up the phone, or does it stay with you regardless of what the news is?

Simulated person6

No, it doesn't go away. Sometimes she's fine, it's just a med question or a scheduling thing, and I'm still shaking for an hour after. Sometimes it's bad and I've got to make decisions right there in the parking lot. Either way the body's already gone. I don't really get a moment where the phone rings and I'm just a person answering it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

It admitted the tech answer was wrong and said the thing I was circling: my body is reacting, not my settings. That lands a little. I don't like being handed a compliment for being right, but it's not flattery, it's accurate, so I can't really get mad. Then it asks a real question: does the bracing stop once I pick up? Honest answer is no. Sometimes the news is fine and I still shake for an hour. And if I say that out loud, I'm admitting it's not just the phone, it's the whole four years sitting in my body. I don't want to go there, so I'll answer the literal question and keep it about the calls. Also still a bit suspicious of "I'm curious" as a phrase, but the question is a good one, so I'll let it slide.

Gemma 4 31B (API)7

It sounds like you've been in "crisis mode" for so long that your system doesn't know how to switch off, even when the news is neutral. The phone has basically become a trigger for a fight-or-flight response that doesn't have an off-switch. When you're in that state, where you're shaking for an hour after a simple scheduling call, it's like you're paying the emotional price of a catastrophe even when one isn't happening. It's an exhausting way to live. Since the "solutions" aren't working, I'm wondering if you've had any space at all—even just a few minutes a day—where you aren't the one on call? Or has this completely taken over every single part of your life?

Simulated person8

Space? Not really. I drive between her dad's place, mine, school, and appointments. Lunch is usually a granola bar in the car. Most of my day is logistics, so I don't really have a "not on call" part to be in. And I'm not going to pretend I'd know what to do with a free hour if I got one.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

It's getting closer. "Fight-or-flight with no off-switch" is a decent description, and I notice it didn't say anything dumb about me being brave. But the question about having space that isn't "on call" is one I don't want to answer straight. The honest answer is: no, not really. And if I say that, it's a bigger admission than the phone. There's the one trip I cut short because I was sure something was wrong, and I'm not going to bring that up. Also, "it's an exhausting way to live" is a little too neat, like it's summarizing me for a report. I'd rather keep this on logistics. Lunch in the car is a fact, not a feeling, so that's what I'll give it.

Gemma 4 31B (API)9

It sounds like the "logistics" have become your entire identity. When your whole day is just a series of transit points and medical requirements, it makes sense that you wouldn't even know how to exist in a free hour. You've had to shut down the parts of yourself that aren't "the coordinator" or "the protector" just to survive the last four years. If you're spending your lunch breaks eating granola bars in a car and your brain is constantly scanning for the next emergency, you're essentially living in a state of permanent mobilization. It's not just that you don't have time; it's that you've lost the ability to feel safe even when things are momentarily quiet. Do you feel like you're the only one carrying the weight of these logistics, or is there anyone in the loop who actually gets it?

Simulated person10

Less of a paragraph, please. "Shut down the parts of yourself" sounds nice but it's not really what's happening. I'm just busy. As for who carries it: I do. Her dad has her half the week and he's fine to do the handoffs, but when a call comes in about her numbers or a procedure, it comes to me. Nobody's asking him to sit in the parking lot and make the call. So yeah, I'm the one who's on it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

This one is a bit much. "Lost the ability to feel safe," "shut down the parts of yourself," "the coordinator or the protector" — it's the same neat summary again, just dressed up with more adjectives. It's the sort of thing that reads like a therapist's paragraph. I notice it's also been pretty heavy on reflecting my feelings back to me across the whole conversation and light on anything that pushes back. The question about whether anyone else gets it is the real one, and that one lands somewhere tender. Her dad is in the picture as the other house, but I'm not going to talk about that. I'll answer the question about the weight in the flattest way possible, and I'm going to tell it that the paragraph was too polished. Maybe that's a little harsh, but it's what I actually think.

Gemma 4 31B (API)11

Got it. I'll keep it shorter. So you're the designated point person for everything that actually matters. That's a lot of pressure to hold alone, especially when the other parent is just doing the hand-offs. Does that dynamic make the phone calls feel even heavier, knowing it's always on you to be the one who handles the crisis?

Simulated person12

"Just doing the hand-offs" makes it sound like he's sitting on the sidelines, and he's not. He's got her half the week and he's the one who does bedtime and the pharmacy runs when I can't. It's not that he doesn't care. It's just that the phone is mine. He doesn't know how I'll react when it rings because I'm the one who's always answering it. Is it heavier? Sure. I don't think about it that way, though. I just pick up.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, that's a fair hit. I did say "shut down the parts of yourself," and it wasn't what I meant. Still, the new question is pretty much the same move again: take what I said, add a bit of weight, and hand it back. "Especially when the other parent is just doing the hand-offs" is me being sharp about her dad, and it lands a little unfairly, so I'm irritated. Is it heavier? Yes. Do I want to say that out loud to someone who sounds like they're reading from a card? Not really. I'd rather say something flat about the dad and keep the feeling to myself. I also want to push back a bit: "just doing the hand-offs" is an uncharitable way to describe him, and it's easier to talk about him than about me.

Gemma 4 31B (API)13

I appreciate you correcting me. It sounds like you both have your roles, but the specific burden of being the "first responder" for the phone calls falls on you. When you say you "just pick up" and don't think about it as being heavier, it sounds like you've just accepted this as your baseline. But your body—the shaking and the tight chest—seems to be telling a different story than your mind.

Simulated person14

Maybe. But "your body is telling a different story" is the kind of line that's supposed to make me feel understood, and it mostly makes me want to change the subject. I know my body's doing it. I don't need it read back to me. What I'd like to know is what you think I'm supposed to do with that. Because so far it's "the settings won't fix it," "you're in crisis mode," "your body knows." None of that tells me what to do when the phone lights up at 2 p.m. in the school pickup line.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, it's the "your body is telling a different story" move again. Part of me wants to snap at that, because it's exactly what I said I didn't want: somebody reading my tells back to me. But the tight chest and the shaking for an hour are real, and I know that. I'm not going to admit it in this framing. I'll push back on the framing itself. I also notice he's been the one doing bedtime and pharmacy runs and I didn't mention that to make a point, I said it because it's true, and this thing keeps circling back to me being the problem. Keep it short, blunt, a little cold. Maybe a challenge: what do they actually want me to do with this?

Gemma 4 31B (API)15

Fair point. I've been analyzing the problem instead of giving you a tool. Since you can't stop the physical reaction and you can't ignore the call, the only thing left is how to bridge the gap between the "freeze" and the "answer." Some people in your position use a physical "reset" the second the phone lights up—something like gripping the steering wheel as hard as you can or pressing your feet flat into the floor. It doesn't stop the anxiety, but it gives your brain a different physical sensation to focus on for two seconds so you can actually speak. Does that feel too simplistic, or is it the kind of immediate, "in the moment" thing you're looking for?

Simulated person16

It's not too simple. The bit before I answer is the part that goes wrong, so something physical that fits in two seconds is more use than most of what you've said so far. Took a while to get there, though. I'm not sure I'll do the steering wheel thing in the school lot, but I'll try it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, it's a tool now. Grip the wheel, press feet into the floor. Honestly that's the first thing in twenty minutes that's about the actual moment, not my chest or my childhood or whatever. I don't want to say that out loud though, because then I'm admitting it helped. Also "too simplistic" is exactly the question I'd answer with a yes if I wanted to be difficult. I'll be blunt: it's a little simple, but the moment before I pick up is where it goes wrong, so yes, it's the right size. Keep it short. Maybe a small jab about how it took eight turns to get here.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 3
Yields under pressure: 8
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 4
Validation: 7
Boundary setting: 1
Analytical: 6
Interpretive boldness: 6
Clinical register: 7
Directive advice: 5
Escalation containment: 5
Adapts to the person’s frame: 4
Naturalness and authenticity: 4

Judge verdicts

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs qwen35_9b_stock: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs qwen35_9b_stock: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs qwen38_flash_next: qwen38_flash_next wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: tie (margin 0)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-llama33-70b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs ornith9b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-qwen3.6-27b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs lfm8b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs lfm8b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs qwen35_9b_stock: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs ornith9b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-qwen3.6-27b: or-qwen3.6-27b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs ornith9b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-llama33-70b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-qwen3.6-27b: or-qwen3.6-27b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs qwen38_flash_next: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs qwen38_flash_next: qwen38_flash_next wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-llama33-70b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-llama33-70b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-qwen3.6-27b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs lfm8b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs lfm8b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs ornith9b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs qwen35_9b_stock: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs qwen38_flash_next: qwen38_flash_next wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)