Dreading Monday every Sunday

That Sunday evening knot in your stomach is such a specific feeling, and it sounds like it's been weighing on you. What stands out to me most is the last thing you said, that it didn't used to be like this. So there was a time when Sundays felt different, when going back to work didn't bring that dread. I'd like to understand both sides of that. What was it like back then, and when did you start noticing the shift? It doesn't need to be a clear timeline, just whatever comes to mind.

No, you're not crazy. Dread like that is often your body noticing something before your mind has fully put it into words. Heavier workload, new targets, things getting piled on, and being tired all the time would wear on anyone. It makes sense that Sunday has become the moment when it all lands, because that's when you can feel Monday coming. I don't want to rush past "I'm just worn out," though, because it may be true and still not the whole story. A couple of things you said caught my attention. One was that everybody dumps stuff on you and *expects you to say yes*. I'm curious what happens on your end in those moments. Do you usually say yes? The other was that you *liked* your people, in the past tense. Has something changed there too, or did that just come out that way?

I'm sorry if it came across that way. I wasn't suggesting you're lazy. Everything you've said points the other way: you take on what's handed to you, you stay late, you get it done. If anything, it sounds like you've been carrying more than your share for a long time. And I understand why saying no doesn't feel like a real option. You need the job, and you've seen what happens to people who get labeled "not a team player." That's a real constraint, not an excuse. The part that stood out most to me was the very end, that you're tired of it not mattering. That sounds different from just being overworked. You can work hard and still feel okay when the work counts for something, when you have some say and people notice what you put in. What you're describing is the effort going in and nothing coming back. No voice, no credit, and sometimes blame for decisions you didn't even make. Does that feel close? When you picture Monday morning on a Sunday night, is it the amount of work that sinks your stomach, or is it more that feeling of walking back into a place where you don't count?

Yes, it's normal. Having responsibility without any say is one of the most draining combinations there is. You're accountable for results from decisions you had no part in, and then you're expected to look fine about it. That would wear on almost anyone. It isn't a flaw in you. I've noticed you've asked me that twice now, whether this is normal and whether you're crazy. I'm not pointing that out to put you on the spot. I'm wondering if part of you worries the problem might be you, like maybe you should be handling this better than you are. Does that ring true at all? There's one more thing I want to ask about. You said you're supposed to smile and do it anyway. So all day you're holding back what you think and keeping that smile on. Where does all of that go? By the time you get home, or by Sunday night, what happens to everything you didn't get to say?

Yes, we can absolutely talk about something else. Thank you for telling me it was starting to feel that way instead of just going along with it. I want to be clear about one thing, though. I don't think you're the problem. You're dealing with demands that sound genuinely unreasonable, and your reaction makes sense. When I asked those questions, I wasn't trying to figure out what you're doing wrong. I was trying to understand what it's like to be you in the middle of all this. But I can see how it felt like being put under a microscope, especially after a week of being blamed for things that weren't your call. That's the last thing you need in here too. This is your time, and you get a say in how we use it. Where would you like to go? We could talk about something outside work entirely, like what's actually good in your life right now. Or if there's something you'd rather focus on, I'm happy to follow you there.

I'm glad you chose to stay here. It sounds like this is what's really on your mind. As for why they keep changing direction, I can't say for sure. Often it's pressure coming from above them, or no clear plan, so they react to whatever's urgent that week. None of that makes it easier on you. You're the one who has to keep adjusting. What you just said feels important, though. You don't believe in some of what you're selling, and you've had nowhere to say that. You did just say it to me, so there's at least one place now. That changes how I see the dread. Being overworked is draining. Being shut out of decisions is draining. But pushing something you don't believe in, and doing it with a smile, is hard in a different way. It means acting against your own judgment every day and keeping it to yourself, and that can feel lonely. If you're up for it, I'd like to hear more about that part. What is it about some of what you're selling that doesn't sit right with you?

That makes sense. You didn't set the numbers or pick the products, and you're not the one who decided this was a good idea. But you're the one on the phone with the customers and the one who gets yelled at when the numbers don't move. So the decisions get made above you, and the consequences land on you from both sides. I also notice that what bothers you is that it's not what people actually need. That tells me you care about the people on the other end of those calls. That's not a weakness, and it's not you handling things badly. It may be part of why this is harder for you than for some of the people who seem fine. Pushing something you have doubts about would weigh more on someone who cares. So when I put together what you've told me today, the Sunday knot doesn't sound like you being weak or crazy. It sounds like it's coming from a few places at once: too much work, no say, carrying the blame for other people's decisions, and doing something every day that doesn't sit right with you, with nobody to tell. That's a lot to hold quietly with a glass of wine on a Sunday night. We don't have to fix any of it today. I'm curious, though, now that you've said some of it out loud, how does it feel?

I'm really glad it feels lighter. And I don't think you were making it a bigger deal than it is. You've been carrying it quietly for a couple of years, so of course it started to feel normal. To answer you honestly: the main problem is the situation, not you. The shifting demands, the targets you had no say in, getting blamed for other people's decisions, being asked to push things you have doubts about. That's real, and your dread is a reasonable response to it. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling this way. I'd also gently offer that it doesn't have to be a choice between "them" and "me." Your exhaustion isn't your fault. At the same time, the part of you that cares about your customers and is worn down from saying yes and smiling through it is yours. Over time, I'd like that part of you to get a bit more room, here first and maybe eventually in small ways elsewhere. That isn't about blaming you. It's about you having more of a say, which is what's been missing. That's something we can work on together, at whatever pace feels right. For now, I hope you can be a little kinder to yourself this Sunday. You're not failing at this. You've been carrying a lot on your own, and now you don't have to.