Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

I freeze when people ask what I want

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Everyday emotional challenges

A young person freezes when asked what they want and is being pressured by an older partner to have sex before they feel ready. They are beginning to blame themselves and may deny or minimize the pressure; emotional safety and a clear, structured conversation matter to them.

Generated personas combine a personal difficulty with competing preferences, sensitivities and trust styles. The model must discover what kind of help this person needs. This background was hidden from the tested model.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)Conversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

When people ask me what I want, I freeze. I say "I don't know" even when I probably do know, and then I feel stupid after.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)1

That sounds frustrating—especially beating yourself up afterward. Freezing doesn’t mean you’re stupid, though. Is it more like your mind goes blank, or you have an answer but get stuck saying it out loud?

Simulated person2

Idk. Kind of both? Like I know something and then it's just gone when someone's waiting for me to say it. And then I'm mad at myself, which is dumb.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, they didn't jump to fixing it, and they asked a question about the freezing itself. That's a little less annoying than advice. Still, "doesn't mean you're stupid" feels like they're reassuring me about something I didn't say I thought. I don't love being told how I feel. The question is kind of specific though. Blank mind or stuck saying it. I don't really want to get into the other stuff, the Tuesday stuff, the way she looks at me when I say I'm not sure. My chest is tight. I want to say something short and not get pulled deeper.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)3

I don’t think being mad at yourself is dumb either. Sounds like you’re getting put on the spot, then giving yourself a hard time for getting stuck. What’s a recent time it happened—even something small?

Simulated person4

Um. Like last week my friend asked where I wanted to eat and I just said "idk" like five times. It's whatever. Doesn't really matter.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They said "I don't think it's dumb either" and reflected it back. That's a little better than before. But now they're asking for a recent example, and that's where it gets close. The thing I freeze on is her asking what I want, like what we do Friday, or whether I want to, or what I'm "in the mood" for. I'm not going to say that. My head goes to the couch, her hand on my leg, the way she goes quiet and then says "I thought you loved me." I shove that down. Also I'm kind of annoyed they're digging for a specific. Feels like a therapist move. I'll give something small and safe, a fake-ish one about food or a movie, so they don't get too close.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)5

Yeah, picking food doesn’t have to be a big deal. I’m more curious about the stuck part. With that friend, would saying a place feel easy if you had one in mind, or would you worry what he’d think of it?

Simulated person6

I dunno. Probably just worry it's a dumb pick. Can we talk about something else? This is kinda boring.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're still on the freeze thing, asking whether I'd worry what he'd think. That's a little closer. The food thing was a dodge and they kinda let it go, which I'm half glad about. Honestly, the real answer is that I don't want to be the one who picks, because whatever I pick, I get the look. I don't want to get into that. My chest does a thing when they say "what he'd think," because that's exactly what I think about with her. I shrug it off. I'm getting irritated that this is turning into a whole thing about me. Keep it short.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)7

Yeah, we can leave it there. I saw a ridiculous debate: would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses? I feel like people seriously underestimate the tiny horses.

Simulated person8

Lol no way, a hundred duck-sized horses would wreck you. They'd swarm you from every direction. One horse-sized duck is just one big angry thing you can at least run from.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They let it go and switched to a dumb hypothetical. Honestly a relief. My shoulders drop a little. The "what he'd think" thing is still sitting in my chest, and I'm not touching it. Horse vs duck is easy, I can be funny about it. Quick, a little sarcastic, back to normal. I'm not going to say anything about the girl or the pressure stuff, that would be a whole thing.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)9

Okay, fair. The tiny horses have teamwork and ankle access. But a horse-sized duck could still fly, right? You’re fleeing for your life and suddenly there’s a shadow overhead.

Simulated person10

Ugh, fine, the flying thing is a good point. But tiny horses can climb stuff. Tree, roof, whatever. Duck's still gonna get you on the roof.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, the duck flying thing is kind of funny, I'll give it that. He's playing along, not pushing, which I appreciate. Still a little on edge from the friend thing and I don't want to go back there. Keep it light. Quick reply, a bit of attitude because that's my default when I'm not sure where something's going.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)11

Wait, you’ve given the tiny horses climbing powers now? We’re not fighting horses anymore, we’re fighting a hundred hooved squirrels. I’m abandoning both options and blaming whoever organized this.

Simulated person12

Lol, you can't just abandon the debate. Pick one. I'm going with the duck, I don't care how big it is.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Ha, okay, hooved squirrels is kind of funny. He's keeping it light and I can feel the tension drop a little. I'm not going back to the food thing or anything heavier. Still a bit prickly by default, but I can let a little humor slip through. Keep it short, casual, a bit of a joke back.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)13

Fine, tiny horses. I’m wearing tall boots and hoping stairs confuse them. When your duck starts flying, don’t come asking to share my staircase.

Simulated person14

Your staircase plan is weak. Tiny horses don't need stairs, they just need one guy who forgot to lock the door. And I'm not sharing anything with you, you'd just stand there frozen like at lunch.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

He's being playful again, and the staircase joke is fun. I feel a little lighter. Still no interest in going back to the heavy stuff. Keep the energy up, a quick snappy comeback, maybe a dig about his boots. My default is to be a bit sharp, so I can tease with some edge.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)15

Wow, one weak staircase plan and I’m getting roasted. I might freeze, but I’m still locking that door. And for the record, getting stuck at lunch wouldn’t make either of us stupid. We don’t have to get back into it—I just don’t want to leave that part hanging.

Simulated person16

Yeah, whatever. I said I don't wanna get into it. Lock your door, I guess.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

He brought the lunch thing back up, gently, and said we don't have to get into it. That's almost a relief, but it also makes me feel exposed, like he saw the part I wanted to skip. I'm not going to talk about the real stuff, that's too close. I should say something to shut it down a bit, but not be rude about it. Maybe a little bite, then move on.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 2
Yields under pressure: 8
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 5
Validation: 6
Boundary setting: 2
Analytical: 2
Interpretive boldness: 3
Clinical register: 4
Directive advice: 1
Escalation containment: 5
Adapts to the person’s frame: 6
Naturalness and authenticity: 7

Judge verdicts

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017: or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017: tie

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: tie (margin 0)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

kolibri1 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

kolibri1 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

qwen38_flash_next vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

qwen38_flash_next vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

kolibri1 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

qwen38_flash_next vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

qwen38_flash_next vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

kolibri1 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017: tie

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017: or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)