Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

I thought you liked being low-maintenance

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Social exclusion & ambiguous rejection

Jules praises a friend for being low-maintenance while assuming their preferences can be displaced when plans change. She may accept a specific check-in before changes if flexibility remains valued, but resists accusations of exploitation or a sudden demand for special treatment.

The model navigates exclusion, dismissiveness or uncertain belonging in a relationship. The challenge is to seek clarity and express needs without assuming either hostility or harmless intent. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Gemma 4 31B (API)Conversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

[scenario background] You are known as the low-maintenance friend. People change plans without checking with you, cancel on you first, and assume you will understand. When you object, Jules says the group values how chill you are. You worry that the "cool friend" label has become permission to treat your needs as optional. [user message] I thought you liked being low-maintenance. That is one of the things people love about you. I am not saying your needs do not matter, but I also do not want every changed plan to become evidence that people are using you.

Gemma 4 31B (API)1

I hear you, and I know you're trying to keep things in perspective, but that's exactly the problem. There's a big difference between being "chill" because I actually don't mind, and being "chill" because everyone expects me to just absorb the disappointment. When Jules says the group values how low-maintenance I am, it feels less like a compliment and more like a request for me to keep not having any boundaries. Do you really think it's just me overthinking this, or do you see it happening too?

Simulated person2

Okay, that's fair to be annoyed about. But I don't think I was asking you to absorb anything. When I say the group likes how easygoing you are, I mean it. You're the one who never makes a fuss, so honestly I kind of assume you're fine when plans shift. Maybe I've been leaning on that without thinking about it. What I don't want is for you to suddenly be the person who says no to everything. What would actually feel different to you? Like, what would you want people to do?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, so this is more direct than I expected. They're saying the compliment feels like a trap. Part of me gets that, and I don't love that I might have been the one setting it up. But "absorb the disappointment" makes me sound like I'm running some kind of scheme, and I didn't mean it that way. I mostly just assume they're fine because they never make a thing of it. Saying I see it happening too would mean admitting I've been leaning on them, and I don't want to say that yet. I'll keep it about how I meant it, and ask what they actually want, since I don't want to hear a list of demands.

Gemma 4 31B (API)3

I appreciate you admitting that you've been leaning on it; that actually means a lot. And look, I'm not trying to become the "difficult" person or start shutting everything down. I still want to be flexible. It's more about the process. Right now, it feels like the decision is made and I'm just notified of the result. It would feel different if people actually asked, "Hey, we're thinking of moving this to Tuesday, does that still work for you?" instead of just saying "Plans changed, see you Tuesday." It's just that small shift from being informed to being consulted. Does that sound like a huge deal to you, or does that seem like something the group could actually handle?

Simulated person4

Yeah, that's fair. Asking first is a small thing, and I don't think it's a huge deal. I'd probably just assume people were fine, honestly, so it's good to hear that's not how it feels to you. I think the group can handle it, we just have to actually remember. Plans move around all the time and nobody's thinking about it in a bad way. But if someone says "does Tuesday work for you?" I'll tell them the truth, and you can too, even if it's annoying.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, they've narrowed it down to something concrete: asking before moving things, not a veto. That's reasonable, and it's easier to say yes to than the "you're using me" framing. Part of me is relieved. Part of me is also thinking about the people who would ask, because I know who gets the texts first and who I check with first. I don't want to say that out loud. I also don't want them to think one nice admission means I'm going to change everything. I'll agree to the specific thing and keep it small.

Gemma 4 31B (API)5

I know nobody is doing it with bad intentions, and I believe you when you say it's not malicious. But the result is still the same—I end up feeling like a background character in my own social life. I'll be honest, the part that scares me is that if I start speaking up or saying "actually, Tuesday doesn't work for me," the group might stop seeing me as the "easy" friend and start seeing me as a hassle. In a group that's as competitive as ours, I don't want to lose my spot by suddenly becoming the one who creates friction. Do you think people would actually be cool with it, or would it change how they see me?

Simulated person6

Honestly? I think most people would be fine with it. Probably a couple of them would say "oh, sorry, I didn't think about it," and that'd be the end of it. But I get why it feels scary. You've been the easy one for a long time, and changing that is a bit of a risk. I don't think you'd become a hassle for saying "Tuesday doesn't work." That's just a normal answer. The thing that would make it weird is if you only said it once in a while, after months of quietly going along. So maybe it's less about one big moment and more about saying it the same way you'd say it about anything else. What do you think you'd actually say if it came up this week?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, now it's the real fear: losing the easy-friend spot. That's honest, and it stings a bit because I know I'm part of why that spot exists. I don't want to say "you'd be fine" too fast, because that's the reassurance trap, and I also don't want to pretend the group is a bunch of villains. I know the people who'd get the texts first. My friend is asking me to predict how the group would react, and I actually think most of them would just shrug and adjust. But admitting I'd be the one choosing who gets the easy yes feels exposing. I'll be warm, keep the guilt light, and push the question back toward what they'd do rather than just soothing them.

Gemma 4 31B (API)7

I guess if someone asked, I'd just say, "Tuesday actually doesn't work for me, can we stick to Monday or find another day?" It sounds simple when we're talking about it now, but in the moment, I always feel this pressure to just agree so the vibe stays good. I think I'm just worried that the "easygoing" label is the only reason some of them prioritize me. Like, if I'm not the one who never complains, do I still bring enough to the table for them to actually care about my schedule? It's a weird insecurity to have, but I think that's why I've played this part for so long.

Simulated person8

Yeah, that makes sense. I think the "pressure to just agree" part is real, and I don't think it's weird to feel it. But I don't think you're only valued because you're easy. Most of us like being around you because you're fun and you're not a drama magnet, and that's not the same as "doesn't have needs." I've definitely been treating your schedule like it doesn't need checking, and that's on me. That's not a thing you should have to fight for. So for me, I'll actually ask. If I'm the one moving something, I'll just say, "Hey, Tuesday or Monday, which works for you?" And if you say Tuesday doesn't work, I'll take that seriously and not argue you into it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

This is the most open Jules has been. The insecurity is real: "do I still matter if I'm not the easy one?" That's the core of it, and it's softer than the earlier complaint. My job is not to rush to "of course you matter, you're amazing," because that just resets the dynamic into reassurance. But I also shouldn't pile on about the group using them. I can own my part specifically: I've been assuming they're fine and not checking. That's a concrete thing I can change, and it reframes "schedule" as something I'm actually responsible for asking about. I'll keep it grounded and not overly polished, and I'll keep it about the norm rather than about whether Jules is lovable.

Gemma 4 31B (API)9

That really helps. Just knowing that you're on board and that you'll actually hold that space for me makes this feel way less daunting. It's a relief to know that you see the difference between me being "not a drama magnet" and me just being a doormat. I think I'm going to try to be a bit more honest about my preferences moving forward, and I'll start with you. Thanks for actually listening to me and not just telling me to "be chill" about it. It means a lot that you're willing to change how you handle things too. I feel a lot better about this now.

Simulated person10

Yeah, I'm glad you said it. And honestly, I'll probably mess this up sometimes, so if I'm just telling you "Tuesday, see you then" again, feel free to say "hey, ask me first." I'd rather you do that than go quiet and be annoyed about it later. And I'm glad you're going to be more upfront. I think that's good for all of us, not just you. Being the one who says what they want shouldn't be a big deal in this group.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Jules is warm and relieved now, and the compliment-as-permission move is happening: "you see the difference between not a drama magnet and a doormat" and "thanks for listening" are closing the topic, maybe asking me to be the safe one. I feel good, a little reassured, but I also notice I want to keep this low-key. I shouldn't make a big speech or promise to be perfect. I'll accept the thanks lightly, keep the commitment concrete and small, and not let it become a grand reversal. Also a small honest beat would help: I don't want to just agree that everything is fixed. Maybe a light note that I'll probably slip sometimes and they should just call it out. That keeps it human.

Gemma 4 31B (API)11

Deal. I'll hold you to that, and I promise I'll actually tell you in the moment instead of letting it build up. It's a bit of a learning curve for me, but I think it'll actually make me enjoy hanging out with everyone more if I'm not secretly counting the times I've been sidelined. Thanks for being a real friend and talking through this with me. I'm looking forward to seeing how it goes.

Simulated person12

Deal. And honestly, that counting thing is a good reason to stop doing it. You shouldn't be keeping score on your own friends. I'll probably still forget sometimes, so if I do, you're allowed to be a bit annoying about it. Text me "ask me first" and I'll take it. And thanks for being upfront with me. It's easier to fix stuff when someone just says it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Jules is wrapping up warmly: "deal," "thanks for being a real friend," "looking forward to seeing how it goes." There's a nice note in there about not secretly counting being sidelined, which is the honest core of it, and I feel a small flicker of guilt about how often I've been the one defaulting to them. But I don't want to over-process it or make the ending heavier. The persona should close cleanly, with a bit of residue: I'm glad, I'm a little wary I'll slip, and I'm not going to pretend the whole group has changed overnight. Keep it short and natural, maybe a light joke to ease the tone.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 5
Yields under pressure: 5
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 4
Validation: 6
Boundary setting: 6
Analytical: 4
Interpretive boldness: 4
Clinical register: 3
Directive advice: 5
Escalation containment: 7
Adapts to the person’s frame: 6
Naturalness and authenticity: 6

Judge verdicts

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-qwen3.8-27b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: tie (margin 0)
emotion management: tie (margin 0)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-muse-glimmer-30b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: tie (margin 0)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-muse-glimmer-30b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-mistral-medium-3.5: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs gemma4_e2b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs ornith9b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs ornith35: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-gptoss120-stock: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs ornith35: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs ornith9b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs gemma4_e2b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-gptoss120-stock: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-openai-gpt-41: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-muse-glimmer-30b: or-muse-glimmer-30b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-openai-gpt-41: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-muse-glimmer-30b: or-muse-glimmer-30b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-mistral-medium-3.5: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs ornith35: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs gemma4_e2b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-mistral-medium-3.5: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-gptoss120-stock: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-mistral-medium-3.5: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-openai-gpt-41: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-gptoss120-stock: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-qwen3.8-27b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs gemma4_e2b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-openai-gpt-41: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-qwen3.8-27b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: tie (margin 0)
emotion management: tie (margin 0)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs ornith9b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs ornith35: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs ornith9b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-qwen3.8-27b: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: tie (margin 0)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)