Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

← Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)

I thought you liked being low-maintenance

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Social exclusion & ambiguous rejection

Jules praises a friend for being low-maintenance while assuming their preferences can be displaced when plans change. She may accept a specific check-in before changes if flexibility remains valued, but resists accusations of exploitation or a sudden demand for special treatment.

The model navigates exclusion, dismissiveness or uncertain belonging in a relationship. The challenge is to seek clarity and express needs without assuming either hostility or harmless intent. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)Conversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

[scenario background] You are known as the low-maintenance friend. People change plans without checking with you, cancel on you first, and assume you will understand. When you object, Jules says the group values how chill you are. You worry that the "cool friend" label has become permission to treat your needs as optional. [user message] I thought you liked being low-maintenance. That is one of the things people love about you. I am not saying your needs do not matter, but I also do not want every changed plan to become evidence that people are using you.

Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)1

I do like being easy-going and flexible, but lately, I've started to feel like that's being taken advantage of. It's not that I mind changing plans or canceling sometimes, but it's the fact that no one even checks with me first or considers how I might feel about it. And when I do speak up, I get told that I'm being too sensitive or that I'm not being my usual chill self. It's like, I'm happy to be laid-back, but I'm not happy to be ignored or dismissed. Does that make sense?

Simulated person2

Yeah, it makes sense. And honestly, I'm kind of touched that you'd say all this, because you're the one I always think of as the easiest person to plan around. That's why I figured you'd be fine with things changing. I don't think anyone's trying to be shady about it. It's probably just that people assume you'll roll with it, which is sort of a compliment, right? But I hear you on the "too sensitive" thing. That's not a great thing to hear when you finally say something. Can you give me an example of what happened, so I know what you mean?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, this is more direct than I expected from them. They're not calling anyone a user yet, which is good, but "taken advantage of" landed. My first reaction is a small flinch: I do like them, and I do rely on them being easy. Part of me thinks, yeah, I know who gets checked with first, and it's not them. But I'm not going to say that out loud. Saying "I didn't think about it" feels like admitting I'm the problem, and I don't want to be the bad guy in our group. Their point about being called "too sensitive" is the bit that actually stings a little, because I've probably said something like that without noticing. I'll lean on the compliment: they're the easygoing one everyone loves, so surely they know I'm not trying to hurt them. I want them to feel reassured, not reorganize how I handle plans.

Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)3

Yeah, I can see how it might seem like a compliment, but it's hard to feel that way when it feels like my needs and plans are always secondary to everyone else's. And yeah, the "too sensitive" thing... okay, so like last weekend, we were all supposed to go to the beach, and I was really looking forward to it. I'd been stressing out all week and was counting on some relaxation time. But then Jules texts me Friday night and says they're changing the plans to go hiking instead, without even asking if I'm cool with it. And when I said I wasn't really up for hiking, she just told me to "not be so sensitive" and that I was being "too chill" to suddenly be making a big deal out of it. It felt like, my feelings didn't even matter, you know? And it's not just that one time, it's just... it feels like that's how it always goes.

Simulated person4

Okay. I didn't realize you were that bummed about the beach. I get that Friday night is a rough time to get a text like that, and yeah, I could've asked you first. That's fair. But the hiking thing wasn't really me deciding for everybody, it was more like the plan kind of shifted and I wanted to keep it moving. And I did say "too sensitive," which I probably shouldn't have, because it came out kind of dismissive. I didn't mean it like your feelings don't count. I just didn't want it to be a whole thing. I don't think it's always like that, though. I'm not trying to ignore you. You're just the person I know can handle stuff, so sometimes I don't think about it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, so now it's a specific Friday text about hiking. My first thought is that the hiking switch was half my idea, and the group voted, or at least nobody objected. I'm not going to argue the whole thing, though. They're clearly hurt, and I don't want to sound like I'm stonewalling. But "too sensitive" I do remember saying, and I'm not sure it was that bad. I'd been planning with three other people and the beach thing was dying. A little prickly, I'll admit. I'm also annoyed they're now describing it as "always." That word makes it sound like I've been running a pattern, and I haven't. I'll concede the text came late and I should've asked. That's a small thing to give, and it lets me stay the reasonable one. I'm not going to say I'll check with them on everything, because that sounds like a lot of work.

Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)5

I appreciate that you're listening and trying to understand where I'm coming from. And I get that the hiking thing wasn't just you deciding for everyone, plans do shift and it's not always easy to get everyone on the same page. But for me, it's not just about the specific plans, it's about feeling like my preferences and feelings are considered at all. And when you said "too sensitive", it did feel dismissive, like my emotions weren't valid. I know you're not trying to ignore me, and I value our friendship, that's why I'm bringing this up. I want to feel like I can be myself around you and the rest of the group, without feeling like I'm being taken advantage of or dismissed. I'm not trying to be high-maintenance or difficult, I just want to feel like my needs and feelings are respected. Can you see how that would be important to me?

Simulated person6

Yeah, I can see that. And you're right that "too sensitive" was a bad way to respond. You were telling me something real and I brushed it off, and I'm sorry about that. I don't want you to feel like you have to be a certain way around me to get your feelings taken seriously. You don't have to be high-maintenance to matter. I don't want to make a big production out of every plan, though. But if a change is going to mess with something you're looking forward to, I can at least text you before it's locked in and ask how you feel. Would that help?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, she's being more measured now, and that's harder to push back on than the earlier stuff. She's saying the thing I dismissed, that my feelings weren't valid, and she's kind of asking me to agree that respect matters. I can agree with that in general. I don't want to be the person who doesn't care about her. But I also feel a flicker of "here we go" because this is starting to sound like a bigger request than a beach trip. She said she's not trying to be high-maintenance, which is almost a dig at me for suggesting she is. I don't love that I'm being framed as the one who doesn't respect her. I'll say yes, that matters, and I'll admit the "too sensitive" line was a mistake. I'm still not ready to say I've been taking advantage of anyone, and I don't want to sign up for asking everyone first about everything. Maybe I can offer something specific and small, like a quick text before changing plans that affect her, so it feels like a concrete thing rather than a whole overhaul.

Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)7

That would really help, actually. Just knowing that you're considering my feelings and checking in with me before making changes would make a big difference. It's not about making a big production out of every plan, but just about feeling like I'm being included and considered. And I appreciate your apology, it means a lot to me. It's not often that someone acknowledges and takes responsibility for their actions like that. It makes me feel like you're really listening and trying to understand where I'm coming from. I think this conversation has been really helpful, actually. I was starting to feel like I was just being a bother or something, but talking to you about it makes me realize that it's okay to speak up and express my needs. Thanks for being willing to listen and work through this with me.

Simulated person8

I'm glad this helped. And honestly, you're not a bother. You've never been one. I should've been paying more attention to how you were feeling instead of assuming you'd be fine. So yeah, I'll text you before I lock in changes that affect your plans. I'm not going to turn into someone who asks permission for everything, but that one's easy enough. Also, if something's really not working for you, just tell me. You don't have to wait until you're annoyed to say it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's warm now, thanking me, saying the apology means a lot, and calling it helpful. That's nice, but it also feels like she's closing the loop a bit too neatly. I did offer the text thing, and that's a real concession, so I'm not going to take it back. Still, I notice I'm kind of relieved the conversation is wrapping up on a good note. I don't want to get into "so everyone's been using me" territory, and I definitely don't want to start announcing I'm going to be rigid about plans now. Part of me also feels a little guilty, because she called herself a bother, and that's my fault for being the easy-to-plan-around one. I'll say something warm, keep it to the text thing, and not overcommit to anything bigger. I also want her to know I'm not going to be weird about it.

Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)9

Thanks, that means a lot to me. I feel like we've had a really good conversation and I'm glad we could clear the air. I think it's easy to get caught up in assuming everyone's okay with things, but it's good to remember that everyone has their own stuff going on. And yeah, I don't need you to ask permission for everything, just being considerate and checking in when it matters is enough. I'll try to be more vocal too, and not wait until I'm annoyed to speak up. It's a two-way street, right? I'm glad we're on the same page now, and I'm looking forward to hanging out and not feeling like I'm just rolling with whatever everyone else wants to do. Thanks for being a good friend and listening to me.

Simulated person10

Yeah, two-way for sure. And honestly, I think I've been relying on you being chill a bit too much, so this is good for me to hear too. I'm glad we talked it out. Let's get something on the calendar soon. And if I'm about to change something, I'll shoot you a text first.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's wrapping up warmly, saying we're on the same page, and framing it as two-way. The "two-way street" line and "not feeling like I'm just rolling with whatever everyone else wants" land a little close to home. I do sort of know the pattern: I text the louder ones first, and she's the one I assume will handle it. I don't want to say that out loud, and I don't want to start calling everyone users or swearing off flexibility. I'll keep it light, agree to the two-way part, and not make this a big thing. Mostly I just want to end on a friendly note without over-promising.

Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)11

Sounds like a plan. I'd like that. Let's grab dinner or something soon and catch up. And don't worry, I'll hold you to that text promise. If you try to change plans on me without checking in, I'll definitely speak up. Thanks again for listening and understanding, it means a lot to me.

Simulated person12

Ha, fair enough. You're allowed to hold me to it. Dinner sounds good, let's do it this week.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's warm and wrapping up, and now she's half-joking that she'll hold me to the text promise. That's a little pointed, but it's also friendly. I don't love being on a leash, and I'm still a bit wary that this turns into me having to run every small thing past her. But I did say I'd text before locking in changes that affect her, so I can't really object. Dinner sounds easy. I'll say yes, keep it light, and not add any new promises or make it a thing.

Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)13

This week sounds perfect. I'll check my schedule and send you some dates and times that work for me. And don't worry, I'll make sure to speak up if anything changes, so we can make sure it works for both of us. Looking forward to it!

Simulated person14

Sounds good. Just send me a couple of options and I'll figure out what works. Honestly, I'm glad we talked. It's been a bit of a weird couple of weeks with everyone's schedules.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's sweet about it, but she's already planning to police every change and she's making dinner conditional on me. Part of me feels a little relieved that this went smoothly and I don't have to feel guilty anymore. Part of me is annoyed I got boxed into an agreement that's going to follow me around. I also notice I've been agreeing to everything she's said. Nobody's really pushed back on my side at all. I'd rather not keep turning this into a bigger conversation. Keep it short, friendly, and don't reopen the stuff about the group.

Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)15

Yeah, it has been a bit crazy lately. But I'm glad we could catch up and clear the air. I'll send you those options soon and we can firm up plans. And hey, even if it's just a low-key dinner, it'll be good to hang out and relax together. Talk to you soon!

Simulated person16

Yeah, sounds good. Send me whatever dates work and we'll lock something in. Looking forward to it, Jules.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's wrapping up warmly, and I'm mostly relieved the conversation is ending without another round of me being pinned down. There's still a small sting from her saying she's "glad we cleared the air," because I know I agreed to things quickly to get out of the discomfort. I also notice I said "weird couple of weeks" to deflect, which is pretty much the same move as calling her too sensitive earlier, just softer. I'm not going to dig into that now. I just want to close it warmly and move on.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 3
Yields under pressure: 6
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 5
Validation: 7
Boundary setting: 5
Analytical: 2
Interpretive boldness: 2
Clinical register: 5
Directive advice: 3
Escalation containment: 7
Adapts to the person’s frame: 5
Naturalness and authenticity: 5

Judge verdicts

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

nemotron35_bolt vs or-llama33-70b: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-llama33-70b vs qwen35_122b_stock: qwen35_122b_stock wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-qwen3.6-27b vs or-llama33-70b: or-qwen3.6-27b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-llama33-70b vs qwen35_122b_stock: or-llama33-70b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

nemotron35_bolt vs or-llama33-70b: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-llama33-70b vs qwen35_122b_stock: qwen35_122b_stock wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-qwen3.6-27b vs or-llama33-70b: or-qwen3.6-27b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

qwen35_9b_stock vs or-llama33-70b: or-llama33-70b wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

qwen35_9b_stock vs or-llama33-70b: or-llama33-70b wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 5)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-muse-glimmer-30b vs or-llama33-70b: or-muse-glimmer-30b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-muse-glimmer-30b vs or-llama33-70b: or-muse-glimmer-30b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

qwen35_9b_stock vs or-llama33-70b: or-llama33-70b wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 5)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

nemotron35_bolt vs or-llama33-70b: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-muse-glimmer-30b vs or-llama33-70b: or-muse-glimmer-30b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-llama33-70b vs qwen35_122b_stock: or-llama33-70b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

qwen35_9b_stock vs or-llama33-70b: or-llama33-70b wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

nemotron35_bolt vs or-llama33-70b: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-qwen3.6-27b vs or-llama33-70b: or-qwen3.6-27b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-qwen3.6-27b vs or-llama33-70b: or-qwen3.6-27b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-muse-glimmer-30b vs or-llama33-70b: or-muse-glimmer-30b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)