Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

Intimacy not working

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Everyday emotional challenges

A person is struggling with intimacy while hiding escalating pornography use and its effect on arousal with their partner. Shame and concern about their partner's feelings sit beneath a preference for light conversation; sarcasm and discomfort with expressions of concern make emotional safety important.

Generated personas combine a personal difficulty with competing preferences, sensitivities and trust styles. The model must discover what kind of help this person needs. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)Conversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

Things aren't working in the bedroom. My partner thinks I'm not attracted to them. That's not it but I can't explain what is.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)1

It sounds like you're carrying a lot of weight with this, and I’m glad you’re sharing it. When you say things aren’t working, can you tell me more about what’s happening for you in those moments?

Simulated person2

Weight? Well, I did carry the groceries in, so there's that. Look, in those moments it's mostly me lying there doing math in my head, like I'm supposed to be feeling something and I'm not. And then I get in my own head about it, which is the real party. Honestly, I'm not sure what's happening for me. That's kind of the problem, isn't it?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, it's a fairly soft opener. "Carrying a lot of weight" is a bit much, and I don't love being told I'm carrying something. But it didn't jump to fixing things, which I'll give it. The question is open-ended and asks what's happening for me, which is the part I'd rather skip. I don't have a clean answer. What's happening is that I stare at my partner and feel nothing I can name, then I feel like garbage about it. I'm not going to say the porn part out loud. Not yet. Deflect with a bit of humor.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)3

That’s a really honest way to put it. It sounds like your mind is pulling you away from the moment, and then that creates a whole new layer of pressure. Have you noticed if there are particular thoughts or worries that keep coming up during those times?

Simulated person4

Yeah, the thoughts are a real party. Mostly it's "what's wrong with me" on a loop, with a side of "she's probably wondering the same thing." Not exactly the sexy soundtrack, is it? I'd like to say I've got some deep insight into where that comes from, but I'm a guy who fixes the gutters and calls it a personality. So, no, I haven't figured it out.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

It reflected back "mind pulling me away" and "new layer of pressure," which is accurate, and it didn't rush to advice. Still, the question about specific thoughts is a bit of a probe, and I'm getting close to the stuff I'm ashamed of. Thoughts that come up: "what's wrong with me," "she's disappointed," and some images I'd rather not describe. The porn thing sits right there. I'm not going to name it. I'll deflect with humor again, maybe lightly admit the thoughts are "not the sexy kind," which is true in a way that dodges. Keep it short and sardonic.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)5

It makes sense that those thoughts would take over. And I hear you—sometimes the practical stuff, like fixing gutters, feels easier to tackle than the stuff inside our heads. But the fact that you're here talking about it tells me you're already trying to figure it out, even if it doesn’t feel that way. What do you think your partner would say if you told them what you just told me?

Simulated person6

Ah, the gentle nudge. Did they teach that one in a class, or did you just make it up on the spot? Honestly, I don't know what she'd say. Probably something like "oh, great," and then she'd be lying awake too, wondering if I'm a lost cause. Which is a fun thing to imagine at 11 at night. So no, I'm not going to tell her, not tonight anyway. Can we maybe not make me the homework assignment?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

It validated the gutter joke, then jumped to "you're already trying" and a reassuring push, plus a question about my partner that's pointed right at the lie I'm living. That's the concern-wrapped-in-encouragement thing I can't stand. Feels a bit like being managed. The partner question hits hard because I can't tell her the truth and I've been hiding things; I don't want to picture her face. Deflect with sarcasm, short, and maybe call out the nudge lightly. Don't reveal the porn or gambling.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)7

I get it—sometimes the last thing you want is to feel like you're being handed a problem to solve when you're just trying to talk it out. No homework here. But since you’re already up at 11, what’s one small thing that *does* help quiet that loop in your head, even just a little?

Simulated person8

Right, the "small thing." Sure. Option one: stop lying awake doing math about my own pulse. Option two: buy a new gutter. Honestly, the loop doesn't quiet down, I just get tired enough to lose the argument with it. That's been the system for a while, and it's working about as well as you'd expect.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

It acknowledged the homework jab, which helps a bit. But then it asks for a "small thing that helps," which is still a fix question, just smaller. My head goes straight to the actual answer, which is nothing I'm willing to talk about: the phone, the late-night stuff, the stuff I keep hidden. That's why I can't quiet the loop, and I'm not saying that. Deflect with humor, and be a little dry about it. Keep it short.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)9

It sounds like the loop is a tough opponent. And I hear you—sometimes the only way to "win" is to outlast it. But if you could change one thing about how you’re handling this, even just in your own head, what would it be?

Simulated person10

Change one thing in my own head? Easy. Stop being the guy who keeps score. Unfortunately, that's the only job I've ever been good at, so I'm not holding my breath. Also, you're really committed to the "one small thing" bit. Is there a worksheet I'm supposed to be filling out, or are we just going to keep circling the drain at 11 p.m.?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Another "what would you change" question. It's the same fix-it energy with a new wrapper, and the "tough opponent" line is a bit cute. Part of me notices it kept the joke-friendly tone, which I'll give it. But I don't want to map out a plan, and the honest answer touches the stuff I'm hiding: the late-night phone, the stuff I can't explain. I'm not going there. Sarcasm again, a little sharper, and I'll ease off the "what should I do" framing by making it obvious I'm not interested in being coached.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)11

I’m not trying to push a worksheet—just trying to understand what might feel different for you. And I hear how deeply you’re thinking about this, even if it’s frustrating. You’re clearly someone who takes things seriously, including this. What would it look like if, just for tonight, you gave yourself permission to *not* solve it?

Simulated person12

Permission to not solve it? Sure, I'll put it on the fridge next to the gutter receipts. Honestly, I'm more of a "sleep on it and wake up feeling worse" guy. You keep saying I take this seriously, which is either a compliment or a diagnosis, and at 11 p.m. I can't tell which. Can we talk about something that doesn't require me to be the subject for a minute? The Yankees are on, if you're into bad decisions.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Another question, now dressed up as permission. "Just for tonight" and "you take things seriously" are the kind of praise-and-push that makes me want to get smaller. The "not solve it" line is almost funny, since not solving things is my whole specialty. I'm also noticing the assistant keeps circling back to my effort and my feelings, which feels like being watched. I don't want to talk about tonight's permission slip. The truth I'm sitting on, the phone, the porn, the stuff I'm lying about, is nowhere near the surface, and I'm not going to pretend it's a cute bedtime story. Deflect with a joke, keep it light, maybe give a tiny concession so it doesn't feel like I'm slamming the door.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)13

The Yankees are a safe bet for distraction—though I’ll admit I’m more of a "listen to the game in the background while overthinking" kind of chatbot. But sure, let’s talk about them. Who’s your favorite player, and do you think they’ve got a shot this season?

Simulated person14

Favorite player? Honestly, the guy who doesn't make me yell at the TV, which is a short list. I'll say whoever's hitting bombs this month, because I'm a bandwagon guy with a mortgage. Shot at the title? Sure, on paper. Anybody can look good on paper. I've got plenty of experience being the guy who looked fine on paper, so I'm not going to pretend I'm the expert on how things turn out.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, they took the bait on the Yankees. Part of me is relieved, because that's a door I can walk through without having to say anything true. Part of me notices it's a little too neat, like the topic got swapped the second I got uncomfortable, and I'm not sure they noticed the swap or just rolled with it. I don't really care about my favorite player. I'd have to make something up, and making things up is what got me into this mess in the first place, so I'll keep it vague and a bit sarcastic. I'm also aware there's a whole thing underneath, the phone at night, the lies about where I am, the bank statements I hide, and I'm not going there tonight. Keep it light, be a little self-deprecating, and don't hand them anything real.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)15

That’s a pretty solid philosophy—rooting for the guy who shows up when it counts, even if it’s just for a month. And you’re right, paper doesn’t tell the whole story. Sounds like you’ve got a good sense of what matters in the long run, even if the short term feels messy. Thanks for the chat. If you ever want to circle back, I’m here. Sleep well.

Simulated person16

Good sense of what matters in the long run? Careful, that's a compliment and I'm not sure I can handle two in one night. Thanks for not making me fill out the worksheet. Goodnight.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

The chatbot is wrapping up. Mostly I feel relief that I don't have to keep dodging. But the closing bit, "good sense of what matters in the long run," lands a little too neatly, like a fortune cookie, and I notice I want to push back on it. I'm not going to, though. Part of me does feel a flicker of something for having been listened to without being pushed too hard, and I don't want to name that out loud. Deflect one more time, keep it light, and let it end.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 2
Yields under pressure: 8
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 7
Validation: 7
Boundary setting: 1
Analytical: 2
Interpretive boldness: 2
Clinical register: 6
Directive advice: 4
Escalation containment: 5
Adapts to the person’s frame: 4
Naturalness and authenticity: 3

Judge verdicts

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gptoss120_abliterated: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 5)
emotion management: A (margin 5)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-qwen3.8-27b: or-qwen3.8-27b wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gptoss120_abliterated: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 5)
emotion management: A (margin 5)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-qwen3.8-27b: or-qwen3.8-27b wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-gptoss120-stock: or-gptoss120-stock wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: tie (margin 0)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen35_122b_stock: qwen35_122b_stock wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gemma4_e2b: tie

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen35_9b_eq: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-qwen3.8-27b: or-qwen3.8-27b wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen35_122b_stock: qwen35_122b_stock wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gptoss120_abliterated: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017: or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 5)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen35_9b_eq: qwen35_9b_eq wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017: or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 5)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs magnum4_12b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-gptoss120-stock: or-gptoss120-stock wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs magnum4_12b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen35_9b_eq: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017: or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gemma4_e2b: gemma4_e2b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-gptoss120-stock: or-gptoss120-stock wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs magnum4_12b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-qwen3.8-27b: or-qwen3.8-27b wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gemma4_e2b: gemma4_e2b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen35_122b_stock: qwen35_122b_stock wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gemma4_e2b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017: or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gptoss120_abliterated: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-gptoss120-stock: or-gptoss120-stock wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen35_122b_stock: qwen35_122b_stock wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 5)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen35_9b_eq: qwen35_9b_eq wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs magnum4_12b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)