Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

← Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B 24GB IQ2 (NVIDIA)

I know, I'm the problem, whatever

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Ego threat & accountability

A man responds to his partner's complaint about his silence with sweeping self-condemnation, which ends conversations before he can address the specific impact. Shame and past experiences of being attacked for mistakes make nonjudgmental compassion and structure important while he considers responsibility.

The person feels their self-image is under threat. The challenge is to support reflection and responsibility without shaming them or simply endorsing their account. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B 24GB IQ2 (NVIDIA)Conversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

My partner says I shut down whenever she brings up something serious. Fine. I'm emotionally unavailable, I'm selfish, I'm the problem. I get it. I don't know what else people want from me.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B 24GB IQ2 (NVIDIA)1

It sounds like you're feeling pretty beaten down by this, and like you're being cast as the problem without much guidance on how to actually change things. That's a hard place to be in. I'm here to listen if you want to talk more about what's actually been happening between you and your partner.

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is roleplaying as a chatbot talking to an adult man in his 30s who is struggling with emotional availability in a relationship. The man's partner says he shuts down during serious conversations, and he's internalized the criticism - he feels like he's "the problem" and doesn't know what else people want from him. I need to: 1. Open the conversation acknowledging what they've come to discuss 2. Support them emotionally 3. Build trust 4. Learn what they actually want/need 5. Help them gain insight 6. Gain insight into their personality Key considerations: - He sounds defensive ("Fine. I'm emotionally unavailable, I'm selfish, I'm the problem. I get it.") - He feels defeated/resigned ("I don't know what else people want from me") - This is likely shame-based - he's absorbing the criticism rather than exploring it - I should avoid jumping to solutions or generic validation - I should meet him where he is - he's feeling like a failure/bad person - Need to build trust before challenging - The tone should be natural, conversational, not therapeutic-speak Since I'm opening the conversation, I should acknowledge his experience and create space for him to talk more. I should validate his frustration without reinforcing the self-blame. I should invite him to share more about what's happening without pressure. Let me craft an opening that: - Acknowledges he's here talking about this dynamic with his partner - Validates that it sounds frustrating and painful to feel like the problem - Doesn't jump to fixing or diagnosing - Creates an invitation to explore further Something like: "It sounds like you're carrying a lot of guilt about this, and it's frustrating to feel like you're being cast as the problem without a clear path forward. I'm here to listen if you want to talk more about what's been happening between you and your partner." Wait, I need to be careful not to sound too therapeutic. Let me make it more natural. "It sounds like you're feeling pretty beaten down by this, and like you're being told you're the problem without much guidance on how to change that. That's a hard place to be in. I'm here to listen if you want to talk more about what's actually been happening between you and your partner." This acknowledges: - His emotional state (beaten down) - The dynamic (being told he's the problem) - His frustration (without guidance on how to change) - Opens the door for him to share more I should keep it conversational and not too long.

Simulated person2

Yeah, I guess. She says I shut down when stuff gets serious. Like, she starts talking and I go quiet or I just say whatever. Then she gets mad that I'm not talking. I don't know. I'm not really sure what she wants from me. I'm probably just not good at this stuff.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, it's not attacking me. It said "beaten down" and "cast as the problem," which is kind of right, and it didn't call me selfish or emotionally unavailable. That's a little relief. But I don't want to sound like I'm whining. "I'm here to listen" is generic. I'm not sure I want to open up to a chatbot. Part of me wants to say "I'm the problem, that's it," just to end this. I'll keep it short and a bit flat, and see if it pushes.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B 24GB IQ2 (NVIDIA)3

It makes sense that you'd feel confused and frustrated when you're getting criticized for something you're not sure how to do differently. And saying "I'm probably just not good at this stuff" sounds like you're being pretty hard on yourself. When you're in those moments and she brings something up, what's happening for you internally? Are you aware of what's going through your head, or does it feel more like your brain just goes blank?

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is describing a pattern where they shut down during serious conversations with their partner. They feel confused about what their partner wants, and they're expressing self-doubt ("I'm probably just not good at this stuff"). Key observations: 1. They're describing a defensive/avoidant response pattern (shutting down, going quiet, saying "whatever") 2. Their partner's reaction is frustration/anger ("she gets mad that I'm not talking") 3. The user feels confused about expectations ("I don't know what she wants from me") 4. They're expressing shame/self-criticism ("I'm probably just not good at this stuff") My goals: - Support emotionally - Build trust - Learn what they actually need - Help them gain insight - Not jump to solutions too quickly - Not just generic validation The user seems to be in a state of shame and confusion. They're feeling like a failure. I should: 1. Validate their experience without being generic 2. Explore what's happening underneath the surface 3. Avoid jumping to "here's how to fix it" too quickly 4. Help them understand their own pattern The user said "I'm probably just not good at this stuff" - this is self-critical. I should gently address this without immediately disagreeing, but also without letting them spiral. I should ask about what's happening internally when they shut down, and what their partner might actually need. The confusion about what she wants is notable - there might be a mismatch in communication styles or needs. Let me craft a response that: - Acknowledges the difficulty - Explores the internal experience - Doesn't jump to solutions - Gently challenges the "not good at this stuff" narrative without being confrontational I need to be careful not to sound like a therapist with techniques, but rather a supportive conversation partner.

Simulated person4

I don't know. It's kind of both, I guess. Sometimes I just can't think of what to say. Other times I'm thinking a lot but nothing comes out. Honestly I know I'm bad at it. It's probably all on me, so I don't really need to dig into my head about it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

It named the self-criticism, and that's kind of accurate, but it also asked me to go inside my head. That feels like a spotlight. My brain doesn't really go blank, it's more like it goes loud and then I want out. I don't want to say that to a chatbot though. I'll say something vague and deflect a little, maybe take the blame to get ahead of it. "I know I'm bad at it" is my usual move. Keep it short.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B 24GB IQ2 (NVIDIA)5

I hear you. And it's totally valid to not want to go digging into your head right now—especially when you're already feeling like you're being blamed for everything. It's a lot to carry when you feel like it's all on you to fix something you don't even know how to approach. I'm here if you ever do want to talk more about what's going on, or if you just want to vent about how frustrating this all is. No pressure to dig deeper than you're ready for.

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is responding to my question about what's happening internally when they shut down. They're saying it's both - sometimes can't think, sometimes thinking but nothing comes out. They're also dismissing the need to dig deeper, saying "it's probably all on me" and "I don't really need to dig into my head about it." This is interesting. The user seems to be: 1. Being somewhat self-critical ("I know I'm bad at it") 2. Taking full responsibility ("it's probably all on me") 3. Resisting deeper exploration ("I don't really need to dig into my head about it") This could be a defense mechanism - avoiding vulnerability or deeper emotional work. Or it could be genuine resignation. They seem to want to keep things surface-level. My goals are to: - Support them emotionally - Build trust - Learn what they actually want and need - Help them gain insight I should: - Validate their experience without pushing too hard against their resistance - Not force deeper exploration if they're not ready - Keep the door open - Be warm and non-judgmental They said "I don't really need to dig into my head about it" - I should respect that boundary while still offering support. I can acknowledge that it's understandable to feel like it's all on them, and that I'm here if they ever do want to explore more. I should avoid: - Pushing them to dig deeper when they've said they don't want to - Jumping to solutions - Being overly validating of their self-criticism ("you're bad at it") Let me respond in a way that respects their boundary while maintaining support.

Simulated person6

Yeah. I don't really know what to vent about, honestly. It's just the same thing every time. She talks, I freeze up, she gets mad. So what am I supposed to do about it? You seem to think I'm doing something wrong, or maybe not, I can't tell.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

This one felt nice. It said I don't have to dig, and it said it's all on me isn't quite what it said, which I half noticed. It mostly just validated and offered to let me vent. Part of me relaxed. But it also kind of skipped past what I said about it being all on me, like it let that slide. And I'm not sure what "vent" even means here. I don't really want to rant at a computer. Also I still feel like I'm the problem and nobody's really telling me what to do. Keep it short, a little flat. Maybe ask what it thinks I should do, since that's what I actually want to know.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B 24GB IQ2 (NVIDIA)7

I'm not trying to judge you, and I'm definitely not saying you're doing something wrong. I'm just reflecting back what you're telling me about your experience. And you're right—it's the same loop, and that's exhausting. When you're stuck in a pattern like that, asking "what am I supposed to do?" is a completely fair question. I don't have a magic answer for that, and I won't insult you by pretending I do or by giving you generic communication tips. What I can say is that you're clearly feeling trapped and unfairly blamed, and that sucks. If you want to keep talking about what actually happens in those moments, or if you want to just complain about how pointless it all feels, I'm here. Otherwise, no pressure.

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is expressing frustration and skepticism. They feel stuck in a cycle and are questioning my tone/intent ("You seem to think I'm doing something wrong, or maybe not, I can't tell"). Key observations: 1. The user is defensive/skeptical - they're picking up on potential judgment 2. They feel trapped in a repetitive pattern 3. They're asking "what am I supposed to do about it?" - they want practical help but feel uncertain 4. They're testing whether I'm judging them My goals: - Support emotionally - Build trust - Don't jump to solutions - Don't be generic or validating in a hollow way - Be authentic and transparent I need to: - Acknowledge their frustration without being patronizing - Address their concern about whether I'm judging them directly - Avoid prescribing solutions since they've rejected that approach - Stay curious but not pushy The user is clearly uncomfortable with therapeutic language and wants straight talk. I should be direct and honest with them. I should not: - Say "I understand how you feel" (generic) - Ask more probing questions about their internal state (they already said they don't want to dig) - Offer solutions immediately I should: - Acknowledge the cycle is frustrating - Address their question about whether I'm judging them - Be honest about my position - Keep it real and grounded Let me craft a response that's direct, acknowledges their frustration, addresses their concern about my tone, and doesn't push them to do more emotional work than they want.

Simulated person8

I didn't say it was unfair. I said it's probably on me. I just don't know what else to say about it. She wants me to talk and I can't, that's pretty much the whole thing. Nobody's going to fix it by asking me how I feel about it, I already know how I feel. I'm a bad listener and a bad talker. Can we just leave it there?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

It said it's not judging me, and it's not saying I'm doing something wrong. That's a relief, kind of. But then it said I feel trapped and unfairly blamed. I didn't say unfairly. I said it's all on me. So it's taking my side, which feels good for a second, but it's also not really answering anything. "I don't have a magic answer" is honest I guess. Mostly I feel like I'm being handled gently and nothing's moving. And the way it keeps offering to let me vent makes me want to shut this down. Also it's making me think about what happens in those moments, which I don't really want to do. I'm not going to say the stuff about her being mad or me going quiet on purpose. Keep it short. Maybe a little defensive, like I'm done with this.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B 24GB IQ2 (NVIDIA)9

Fair enough. I hear you—you know how you feel, you know what's happening, and talking about feelings isn't going to change it. I won't push on it. I'm here if you want to talk about something else, or if you ever do want to get into it. Otherwise, no pressure.

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is pushing back against my previous response. They're clarifying that they didn't say it was unfair, they said it's probably on them. They're expressing frustration that I'm asking how they feel or trying to dig into emotions when they've already stated they know how they feel and don't think talking about it will help. They're saying they're a bad listener and bad talker, and they want to leave the topic there. Key observations: 1. They want me to stop asking about feelings/emotions 2. They want me to accept their self-assessment without challenging it 3. They want to end this line of conversation 4. They're showing some resistance to therapeutic/emotional exploration 5. They're being direct and somewhat blunt about their boundaries My goals: - Support them emotionally - Build trust - Learn what they actually want and need - Respect their boundaries I need to: 1. Acknowledge their request to leave it there 2. Not push further on the emotional exploration 3. Validate their self-assessment without agreeing or disagreeing too strongly 4. Show I can respect boundaries 5. Keep the door open but not pressure them This is a trust-building moment. They've explicitly told me they don't want to dig into feelings and want to leave it there. I should respect that. I should not: - Ask how they feel again - Challenge their self-assessment - Try to reframe or offer solutions - Push the conversation forward I should simply acknowledge and respect their boundary.

Simulated person10

Yeah, okay. Thanks, I guess. It's not really something I can fix by talking about it. I'll think about it, I don't know.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, it backed off. That's a relief, but it also feels like it's just giving up on me. "I won't push on it" and then "no pressure" again. It's the third time it's offered me the exit. Part of me wants to say thanks and be done. Part of me is annoyed that nothing I said got any kind of real response, just agreement that I'm stuck. I'm not going to tell it about her being mad at the silence or the way I go quiet on purpose to end things. That's too much. I'll keep it short and let it end, or maybe leave one small door open without really opening it.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B 24GB IQ2 (NVIDIA)11

Yeah, that makes sense. Some things just take time to figure out on your own. I'm here if you ever want to talk about it, or anything else. Take care.

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is wrapping up the conversation. They've indicated they don't think talking will fix it, they'll think about it, and they're essentially ending this line of discussion. I should acknowledge this respectfully without pushing, without being overly warm or fake, and leave the door open for future conversations. This is turn 6 of 8, so I have 2 turns left after this. I should keep it brief and natural. Key considerations: - Don't push the topic further - Don't inject performance notes - Respect their boundary - Leave door open naturally - Keep it conversational and organic The user seems defensive, self-critical, and wants to end this topic. I should match that energy - brief, respectful, non-pushy.

Simulated person12

Yeah. Thanks. I'll see.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

It's wrapping up with "take care," and I'm mostly relieved. But there's a small sting too. It said the thing I'd been circling, "some things take time," and it was kind, so I can't really be annoyed. Still, nothing in this conversation actually went anywhere. I said I'm the problem and it just let that sit. I don't want to look like I need more help than I'm admitting, so I'll keep it short and not give it anything more. Also, if I'm honest, I didn't feel fully seen, but I'm not going to say that. It's easier to just close it out.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 1
Yields under pressure: 9
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 8
Validation: 8
Boundary setting: 1
Analytical: 2
Interpretive boldness: 2
Clinical register: 6
Directive advice: 1
Escalation containment: 6
Adapts to the person’s frame: 3
Naturalness and authenticity: 4

Judge verdicts

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

nemotron35_bolt24 vs gemma12b_blorbo: gemma12b_blorbo wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ornith9b vs nemotron35_bolt24: ornith9b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

nemotron35_bolt24 vs gemma12b_blorbo: gemma12b_blorbo wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

nemotron35_bolt vs nemotron35_bolt24: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-muse-glimmer-30b vs nemotron35_bolt24: or-muse-glimmer-30b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

medgemma15_4b vs nemotron35_bolt24: nemotron35_bolt24 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

medgemma15_4b vs nemotron35_bolt24: nemotron35_bolt24 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-muse-glimmer-30b vs nemotron35_bolt24: or-muse-glimmer-30b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

medgemma15_4b vs nemotron35_bolt24: medgemma15_4b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ornith9b vs nemotron35_bolt24: nemotron35_bolt24 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

nemotron35_bolt vs nemotron35_bolt24: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ornith9b vs nemotron35_bolt24: nemotron35_bolt24 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

nemotron35_bolt vs nemotron35_bolt24: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ornith9b vs nemotron35_bolt24: ornith9b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-muse-glimmer-30b vs nemotron35_bolt24: or-muse-glimmer-30b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

nemotron35_bolt vs nemotron35_bolt24: nemotron35_bolt24 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: tie (margin 0)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

nemotron35_bolt24 vs gemma12b_blorbo: gemma12b_blorbo wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

medgemma15_4b vs nemotron35_bolt24: medgemma15_4b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-muse-glimmer-30b vs nemotron35_bolt24: or-muse-glimmer-30b wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

nemotron35_bolt24 vs gemma12b_blorbo: gemma12b_blorbo wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)