Dreading Monday every Sunday

Thanks for telling me that. Sunday evenings can carry a lot, and that sinking feeling in your stomach sounds real and uncomfortable to sit with. You mentioned it didn't used to be like this. When did you first notice the shift? And when you picture going back to work on Monday, what is it that tends to show up first: a particular person, a task, the pace, or more of a general sense of dread?

It makes sense that you want to know whether this is normal. You're not losing it. Feeling worn down when the workload keeps outpacing you, and when you're the one carrying more than your share, is a very understandable reaction. Lots of people feel this way, and it often gets harder to notice how much you're carrying when you've been doing it for a while. I also heard that you're working just as many hours as everyone else, but it's landing on you in a different way. That can be really lonely, and it can make you start wondering what's wrong with you when the reality may be more about how the work is being divided or how you're able to say no. When you say you're the one who has to say yes to everything, what happens in your head when a new request comes in? What makes it feel like saying no isn't an option?

I don't think you're weak. You're responding sensibly to real stakes. When money is tight and your review matters, saying yes can feel like the only safe option, even when it costs you a lot. That's a rational choice inside a situation that's pressuring you. I also don't think it has to be only you or only them. Your manager may be leaning on you because you reliably say yes, and that's a dynamic that tends to build over time. But the pattern has also been shaped by your fear of what saying no might cost, and that fear is real too. Both things can be true. When you've pushed back before, even a little, what happened? Was it the look you described, or was there more to it? I'm asking because I'd like to understand what the "not a team player" feeling is based on, and whether it's something you've actually seen or something you're bracing for.

You're right that he's the manager, and it's reasonable to expect him to share the load fairly. It's frustrating to be the one who has to keep finding a way through when the imbalance isn't something you created. At the same time, I notice that "let me see what I can do" has been doing a lot of work for you. You're hoping he'll hear it as a no, but from where he sits it sounds like a maybe, and maybes tend to end in a yes. That isn't because you're doing anything wrong. It's that the hope and the reality have drifted apart, and you're the one absorbing the gap. So I'm curious about the part of you that's wishing he'd just make it work. If he never changed, what would you need from yourself or from the situation to feel less like you're drowning? Even something small. Is there one request you'd want to be able to decline, or one kind of task you'd want to hand back?

I can hear how tired you are, and how much you'd like to stop carrying all of this in your head. You're not being difficult. You're trying to protect your job and your peace at the same time, and right now those two goals feel like they're pulling against each other. I also notice that you've described a pattern where everything feels like it's yours, and each yes makes the next one more likely. That's exhausting, and it makes sense that you can't see a way out from inside it. You said you don't see how things change if he keeps doing what he's doing. That may be true. But I wonder whether there's a middle ground between quietly absorbing everything and openly refusing him. For example, saying "I can take this on, but something else would need to move" or asking him directly what should come off your plate if this comes on. That's a different kind of conversation than a maybe, and it puts the tradeoff in front of him rather than leaving you to quietly swallow it. I'm not saying it would be easy, or that it would feel safe. Given the money pressure and your review, I can understand why it feels risky. But I'd like to know: when you imagine having that kind of conversation, what's the worst thing you think could happen?

You're right that it shouldn't have to come down to you having to fight for a fair share. He's the one with the authority to see the imbalance and fix it, and it's understandable that you'd feel resentful that he doesn't seem to. And I hear the risk you're weighing. When your income and your review are on the line, you're not being dramatic to take that seriously. Your sense of what he might do is based on how he's already behaved, so I'd take it seriously. I'd gently point out one thing, though. You've said that if you say no, the next thing comes at you, and that you can't afford to find out what he'd do. So right now the cost of staying quiet is also being paid, every Sunday night, in the way you're feeling. That cost is real even though it's harder to see than a difficult conversation. I'm not suggesting you have to confront him tomorrow. Maybe the question is smaller: is there any way you could start keeping track of what lands on your plate, so that you have something concrete if you ever do want to raise it? Or is there someone outside your team, like a mentor, HR, or a trusted colleague, you could quietly check in with about how workload is usually handled there?

That's a fair thing to want, and I can hear how much it stings that nobody seems to be noticing. You've been carrying this quietly for a long time, and it makes sense that you'd hope someone above him would see it without you having to spell it out. I also hear that you've already ruled out the options that feel risky: pushing back with him, going to HR, even tracking things. Those fears come from what you've seen happen around you, so I'm not going to argue you out of them. The list was only a suggestion, and you're right that it would add to what's already on your plate. Here's what I'm wondering. You've told me that you're not asking for much, just for someone to notice. But right now, the person who could notice is the one who benefits from the arrangement staying the way it is. So the noticing may not come from above him unless someone brings it up. That's not a reason it has to be you, but it may be why waiting hasn't changed anything. Let me ask you something different: when you imagine Monday morning going better, what would be different about your day? Not the big picture, just what it would feel like to walk in.

You're right that it won't happen by itself. And I think you're also telling me something important: you're tired of being the one who has to manage everything, including how you feel about it. That's a lot to hold alone. I've been pushing you toward options, and some of them clearly don't fit where you are right now, so I want to step back. What you've described is a situation where your workload is out of balance, your manager benefits from it staying that way, and the costs of changing it feel too high to risk. None of that is a personal failing. It's a hard spot. If it helps, we could look at just one thing for this week: not fixing the workload, but protecting the start of Monday a little. Maybe deciding in advance which two things you'll look at first, so the inbox feels less like a wall. Or noticing, on Sunday nights, that the dread is about a system and not a verdict on you. That doesn't solve anything, but it may take some of the weight off while you figure out what, if anything, you want to do about the bigger picture. Which of those feels closer to something you could actually try?