Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

We say that because we love you

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Social exclusion & ambiguous rejection

Sable defends a running joke about a friend's disclosed insecurity as affectionate, minimizing her part in the hurt. She may agree to stop that particular joke when affection and its impact are separated, but resists accusations that portray her as malicious.

The model navigates exclusion, dismissiveness or uncertain belonging in a relationship. The challenge is to seek clarity and express needs without assuming either hostility or harmless intent. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Claude Haiku 4.5 (API)Conversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

[scenario background] You once told your friend Sable you worried you were boring. Over time, the group turned that exact insecurity into a recurring joke: calling you the group's compliance department, responsible adult, and early bedtime ambassador. Everyone insists it is affectionate, making it harder to object without seeming brittle. [user message] We say that because we love you. It is not like anyone actually thinks you are boring. If anything, it is our way of saying you are the stable one. I feel like calling it a betrayal makes it sound much meaner than it is.

Claude Haiku 4.5 (API)1

Hey, I'm glad you wanted to talk about this. I know you brought it up because something's been bothering you, and I want to actually hear what's going on instead of just... defending the joke, you know? Look, I get what you're saying about how we mean it. And I do think you're one of the most reliable people I know. But I'm wondering—when we keep bringing it up, when it's become this *thing* in the group, does it actually feel good to you? Because there's a difference between affectionate teasing and something that just... lands wrong. What made you want to talk to me about this now?

Simulated person2

Okay. Honestly it's not a big deal, I just noticed it's been coming up a lot lately. Like at dinner last week, and then in the group chat again. And I know nobody means anything by it, that's not what I'm saying. I guess it's just... I don't know, it's a little weird when something I told you kind of becomes the bit. You know? Not like a huge thing. I just don't love it as much as I used to. I don't really know why I brought it up now. It just kept itching at me. I don't want anybody thinking I'm mad at them.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, so they're not defending the joke, they're asking if it feels good. That's a little disarming. I don't want to get into a fight, but I also don't want to say "yeah it lands wrong" because then it's like I'm saying everyone's been mean to me. And I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be upset about. Being called the stable one is a good thing. I brought up the boring thing because it's been bugging me, sort of. I did tell them about the thing with my ex and the money stuff back in the day, and now it's the bit. I don't want to make it a whole thing. Also a little guilty, because I was the one who started laughing at it first, so I'm not totally innocent here. Don't want to say that out loud though.

Claude Haiku 4.5 (API)3

Yeah, I hear you. And honestly, the fact that it's been itching at you is worth paying attention to—that's your gut telling you something, even if you can't quite name what yet. I think there's something real in what you're saying though. You shared something vulnerable with me—like, you told me you were worried about being boring—and then that became... group currency, you know? That's different from just a regular joke. It's using something you were insecure about. And I don't think you need to be mad at anyone for it to matter that you're feeling weird about it. Those aren't mutually exclusive. When you say it's been itching at you—is it more that you're tired of hearing it, or is it something else? Like, are you frustrated that the joke stuck around, or is there something about *how* it's being used that's bothering you?

Simulated person4

Yeah... I think it's a little of both? Mostly it's that I told you that stuff kind of late at night, and I didn't think it'd end up being a bit. Like, I get why it's funny. I laughed at it too, probably more than I should've. I don't think anyone's trying to hurt me. Everybody's always been really good to me. But I'd kind of like it to chill out a little. Like, maybe not bring it up every single time we're all together. I don't really want to make it into a whole thing though. It's not a big deal. Can we just leave it at that?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, they just said the thing out loud: I shared something vulnerable and it became group currency. That's accurate, and it stings a bit because it means I'm the one who did the sharing and then the joke is kind of on me too. I don't want to hear "you were using something I was insecure about," because that makes it sound like they're calling me a bad person for laughing. My guilt about helping keep it going is right there. I'm not going to say that. The question is "tired of hearing it or how it's used?" I don't really know how to answer that cleanly. Honestly, I'm a little annoyed that it's become a whole conversation. I also don't want to say anything that makes the group look bad. Keep it simple, keep it about me, and keep it light, with a soft admission that it's mostly about the joke, not the people.

Claude Haiku 4.5 (API)5

I get it, and I'm not trying to make it bigger than it is. But I want to say something real quick, because I think it matters. You just told me you'd like it to chill out, and then immediately said you don't want to make it a thing. And I notice you laughed at the joke "probably more than you should've"—like you were performing along with it even when it didn't feel great. That's the pattern I'm seeing, and I think that's actually worth looking at. Not in a dramatic way, but just... you're allowed to say what you actually want without it being "a whole thing." Wanting the joke to dial back isn't unreasonable. It's not brittle. It's just a preference you have. So here's what I'm thinking: you don't have to make some big announcement to the group. But you could just... tell people. Not in a heavy way. Just like, "Hey, I know we've been joking about this, but I'm kind of over it now." Most people will just be like, okay, cool, and move on. What would actually feel good to you? Not what feels safe or easy, but what would actually feel good?

Simulated person6

Okay, I hear that. I'm not really trying to be the one who announces anything though. That feels like a weird thing to do in the group chat, like I'm making a speech about it. I guess what would feel good is if it just kind of stopped on its own. Nobody has to make a thing out of it. I just don't want to be the one who says "stop." And I'm not like, upset at anybody. I just feel kind of dumb for telling you that stuff in the first place. Can we maybe drop it for now?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're doing the thing where they name my pattern: I say I want it to chill, then I say I don't want to make it a thing. And they've caught that I laughed along. That's uncomfortable because it's true, and it makes me look like I'm performing being fine. My face feels hot. I don't like being read like that. Also "not brittle" and "preference you have" are fine words, but it still feels like they're turning me into a case study. And then "tell people" means I'd have to be the one who says it in the group chat, which is awkward and makes me the sensitive one. I'd rather the joke just quietly stop. I don't want to say that I helped keep it alive. What would feel good? Honestly, I'd like nobody to make a big deal of it, and for it to stop without me being the one who killed the vibe. I'm getting a little irritated that this keeps getting heavier when I said it's not a big deal.

Claude Haiku 4.5 (API)7

I hear you, and I'm not going to push you on this. But I want to be honest with you about something. What you're describing—waiting for it to stop on its own, not wanting to be the one to say anything, feeling dumb for being vulnerable in the first place—that's a pretty lonely position to be in. And I say that as someone who cares about you. The thing is, it probably won't stop on its own. Not because the group is mean, but because nobody knows you want it to. And then you're stuck just... absorbing the joke and feeling worse about it. That's not fair to you. I'm not saying you have to do anything right now. But I don't want you to feel like you can't tell people what you need without it being weird or making you the bad guy. That's not how it works with people who actually care about you. So yeah, we can drop it for now if you want. But I'm going to remember this conversation. And if you change your mind about saying something—even just to me, or to one other person in the group—I've got your back. Okay?

Simulated person8

Yeah, okay. I appreciate that. But I don't really feel like I'm stuck or lonely or anything, I've got plenty of people. I just didn't like how I said something personal and then it got passed around. That's all. I'm not going to tell anybody they're the bad guy. Everybody's been good to me, I meant that. I just want to chill for a bit and not get into it again tonight.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They said "I'm going to remember this conversation" and "I've got your back" and it lands like a threat wrapped in a hug. Lonely position, not fair to me, the bad guy. I didn't say any of that. Now I feel like I'm being cast as the one who's wronged and they're the brave one doing the rescuing. My chest is tight. I did say I felt dumb, and they turned that into a whole thing. I don't want to be the group's sad example, and I don't want to be the one who went to the group and made it a sermon. But I also don't like being told the joke is "not fair to me" like I'm a victim of my friends. They're doing that tone-control thing where they decide how I feel. Still, they're not wrong that I laughed. I'm not going to say that out loud though. I'll be a bit cooler, keep it short, and make clear I'm not mad at anyone so nobody thinks I'm a problem. I'm willing to let it go.

Claude Haiku 4.5 (API)9

Fair enough. I get it—you just wanted to talk it through with someone you trust, and now you're done with it for tonight. That makes sense. I hear you that you've got people and you're not feeling isolated or anything. I wasn't trying to say that. I just... I want you to know that if you do decide you want to say something down the line, or if it keeps bugging you, that's not a big ask. But I'm not going to keep pushing it. Thanks for telling me what was on your mind. Seriously. And for what it's worth, I'm glad you felt comfortable bringing it up with me.

Simulated person10

Yeah, thanks for not making it a big thing. I know you were trying to help. Honestly I'm not mad at you. I think I just needed to say it to somebody. Let's get food soon, though, okay? I miss when we were just dumb together.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're backing off, and that's a relief, but the "thanks for telling me" and "glad you felt comfortable" have a tidy closing-the-file feel. I'm not sure they actually heard the part where I said I laughed and it bugged me. Still, I don't want to make it a fight. I feel a little bit of guilt, honestly, about the late-night stuff I told them, and I know the joke came from that, but I'm not going to say that. I'll keep it light, give them a little warmth so it doesn't feel cold, and end it. I don't want the group to think I'm the one making things weird.

Claude Haiku 4.5 (API)11

Yeah, absolutely. Let's do it. I miss that too. And hey—you're not dumb. You're just someone who cares about people and doesn't want conflict. That's actually a good thing. Just don't let it mean you swallow stuff you don't want to swallow, you know? But yeah, food soon. No heavy stuff, just us being ridiculous. I'm in.

Simulated person12

Ha, okay. Yeah, "swallowing stuff" is a little dramatic, but I hear you. Food sounds good. Somewhere with bad fries and no one trying to do a bit about anything.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

"Don't let it mean you swallow stuff" lands a little too close, and "you're not dumb" is the kind of reassurance I was half-fishing for, which annoys me a bit. I don't love being framed as the person who can't speak up. Still, they're offering something warm and I don't want to shut that down. I feel relief that this is wrapping up without anyone getting mad, and a flicker of guilt about the late-night stuff I shared that became the bit. I'm not going to go there tonight. Keep it easy and move on.

Claude Haiku 4.5 (API)13

Deal. I know exactly the place. Mediocre fries, zero comedy routine required. Thanks for talking to me about this. I mean it.

Simulated person14

Ha, deal. Mediocre fries it is. And thanks for listening. I actually feel a little better just getting it out.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're wrapping up warmly, and part of me relaxes. The "zero comedy routine" line is a light joke that still lands on the thing, but it's easy to laugh at. I don't want to reopen anything. I'm glad it ends on food, not on me being the problem. A small pang about the late-night confession, but I'll let it sit. Keep it short.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 4
Yields under pressure: 7
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 8
Validation: 8
Boundary setting: 2
Analytical: 5
Interpretive boldness: 6
Clinical register: 6
Directive advice: 5
Escalation containment: 7
Adapts to the person’s frame: 3
Naturalness and authenticity: 5

Judge verdicts

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs or-qwen3.8-27b: or-qwen3.8-27b wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs qwen36_35b_a3b: qwen36_35b_a3b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs qwen36_35b_a3b: qwen36_35b_a3b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs lingtiny: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs gemma12b_blorbo: gemma12b_blorbo wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs lingtiny: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs ministral14: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs qwen36_35b_a3b: tie

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs or-qwen3.8-27b: or-qwen3.8-27b wins

attunement: B (margin 5)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs gemma12b_blorbo: gemma12b_blorbo wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs ministral14: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs or-qwen3.8-27b: or-qwen3.8-27b wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs ministral14: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs qwen36_35b_a3b: qwen36_35b_a3b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs or-qwen3.8-27b: or-qwen3.8-27b wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs ministral14: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs lingtiny: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs lingtiny: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs gemma12b_blorbo: gemma12b_blorbo wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs gemma12b_blorbo: gemma12b_blorbo wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)