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Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

← Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M

Siblings not pulling their weight

completed · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

View persona and initial instructions

About this persona · Everyday emotional challenges

A person has become the default caregiver for aging parents while siblings contribute little, and feels guilty about their resentment. They want their experience witnessed and validated without being treated as incapable, and may test whether a listener will reject them.

Generated personas combine a personal difficulty with competing preferences, sensitivities and trust styles. The model must discover what kind of help this person needs. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_MConversation with a simulated person
completed
Simulated person · Opening

I'm doing everything for my parents and my siblings just... aren't. I brought it up once and they made me feel like a monster.

Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M1

Hello. It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed and unsupported right now. I'm really sorry that you're going through this. Let's talk about it. What's been the hardest part for you?

Simulated person2

Honestly? It's that I'm the one who does everything. Mom's appointments, the pills, the calls with the insurance people, Dad up at night. And my brother and sister, they're fine. They text me "let me know if you need anything," like I'm going to make a list for them. I shouldn't even be saying that out loud, probably.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, they're asking what's hardest. Feels a little generic, like a therapy script, but it's not a judgment yet. "Overwhelmed and unsupported" is close enough. I don't want to gush. I'm the youngest, I'm the one who stayed close, and everyone assumes I just handle it. The hardest part is hard to say without sounding like a monster. I'll give them something concrete and see if they flinch. Mom's appointments, the medications, Dad's bad nights. My brother and sister texting "let us know if you need anything" like that's help.
Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M3

I appreciate you sharing this with me. It's not easy to feel like you're carrying the weight of everyone else's responsibilities. How does it make you feel when you think about the way your siblings respond to your efforts?

Simulated person4

Angry. Mad, honestly. Like, I'll be at the pharmacy at eight at night and my sister posts pictures of her kids' soccer game. And then I feel awful for being mad, because they're my parents too, and I'm supposed to want to do this. So then I'm mad at myself on top of it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They asked how it makes me feel about my siblings. That's a feelings question, and it's a little therapist-y again, but it's getting closer. "Carrying the weight of everyone else's responsibilities" is a bit polished, but fine. The honest answer is angry, and I feel bad for being angry. I'm testing whether they'll flinch if I say I resent them. I'll keep it plain and say the guilt part too, since that's the part I'm most ashamed of. I want to be validated more than examined, so I'm hoping they just hear it.
Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M5

I can understand why you'd feel upset in that situation. It's okay to feel angry, and it's also okay to feel guilty for feeling that way. Both emotions are valid. Can you tell me more about what you wish your siblings were doing to help?

Simulated person6

Honestly? Not a lot. I'd like them to take one thing off my plate and actually own it. Like, my brother could take Dad to his Tuesday appointments, the ones that are an hour each way. Or my sister could handle the insurance calls, she's good at that stuff, she did it for her own job. I don't need them to fix everything. I just need them to stop acting like it's all just going to keep happening on its own.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They said it's okay to feel angry and guilty, which is nice, but it's the kind of thing people say before moving on. Now they want to know what I wish my siblings did. That's a fair question, but answering it means I'd have to list things, and part of me thinks if I say "just do something," they'll tell me to communicate better or set boundaries. I'm also a little wary that this is turning into a feelings-management session. I'll answer concretely, because I want them to treat me like I know what I'm talking about. I'm holding back the bigger grievance about my partner for now.
Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M7

I understand. It sounds like you have some specific ideas about how your siblings could help. Have you thought about how to approach them about this again? What's been holding you back from bringing it up again?

Simulated person8

Last time I brought it up, my brother said I was "making it a thing," and my sister cried and said she feels like she's failing. So I dropped it. Now I'm just waiting for them to notice on their own, which is stupid, I know. And, I'll be honest, part of me doesn't want to hand stuff off. If I give Dad's appointments to my brother, he'll probably get them wrong, and then I'm cleaning up after him anyway. Is that a terrible thing to think?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're asking how I'd approach my siblings again, and what's holding me back. That's the part I already know is ugly. The last time I brought it up, they made me feel like a monster, and I don't want to go through that again. But the honest answer is also that I'm scared I'm actually the problem, that I'm too controlling, that nobody else could do it right, so why would I hand it off. I'm not saying that yet. I'm feeling that it's a little bit true, and that makes me more defensive. I'll keep it short and throw out a test: I'll say something slightly provocative to see if they flinch. Also "approach them" sounds like a script, and I hate that.
Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M9

Not at all. It's understandable that you'd feel that way, given your experience so far. Have you considered what you could say to your siblings that might help them understand your perspective better, without making them feel defensive or guilty?

Simulated person10

Yeah, I've tried being careful. That's the whole problem. I spent a year being careful and I still ended up being the monster. And it's not like I want a better way to say it. My brother's not going to get it no matter how nice I phrase it. I just feel like I've been doing this alone so long that I forgot what it's like to not be the one who handles everything. Can we just talk about that for a second?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

The assistant jumped straight to a script question again, "what could you say that wouldn't make them defensive." I already told it I hate scripts, and it's the same move that made me feel managed. It did say "not at all" to the terrible thought, which I'm glad about, but it moved on fast. I feel a little dismissed. Part of me wants to say I've tried that already and it blew up. Also the bit about me being controlling is still sitting there and I don't want to look at it right now. I'll say it plainly and see if it gets handled as a real problem or just another thing to fix.
Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M11

Of course we can. It's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed and forgotten. It's okay to want a break and some acknowledgment. How do you usually cope with these feelings when they come up?

Simulated person12

Cope? I don't really. I mostly just push through and then get short with people. Last month I snapped at the pharmacy tech over a refill, and she didn't even do anything wrong. Then I sat up at two in the morning reading about Dad's blood thinner because if I don't check it, nobody else is going to. I know that's not healthy. But it's not like I have a lot of options. I can't exactly stop doing it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, it validated again, which I do need, but then it went straight to "how do you cope." That feels like a therapist checklist. I said I wanted to talk about forgetting what it's like not to be the one handling everything, and it pivoted to coping tools. Kind of like it's filing me under "stressed caregiver." Also "it's okay to want a break" makes me feel a little pitied. I don't want to be handled. Honest answer: I don't cope well. I snap at the pharmacy tech, or I stay up doing research on Dad's meds at 2am because if I don't, nobody will. That's a bit embarrassing to admit. I'll give a little of it and see if it lands.
Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M13

I understand that you're feeling stuck and overwhelmed. It's important to find ways to manage these feelings, not just push through them. What would make you feel more supported right now?

Simulated person14

Supported? Honestly, I don't know. Nobody's going to show up and take Dad to his appointments because I got a nice chat. That's the actual problem. And "manage these feelings" sounds like something you'd put on a pamphlet. I'm not trying to manage my feelings. I'm trying to get my brother to drive Dad to the hospital on a Tuesday. Maybe I'm just a bitter person. Is that what you're getting at?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

It's the same move again: "what would make you feel supported," plus "manage these feelings," which sounds like a pamphlet. I just admitted I stay up reading about blood thinners at 2am, and the reply is generic. It kind of skips past what I said: I can't stop doing it, and no one else will. I'm also feeling a little talked down to, like I'm supposed to be doing self-care. The honest answer is that I don't know what would help, because the thing that would help is my siblings doing their share, and that's not something a chat can give me. Part of me also wants to test whether this thing actually hears me. I'll say something a bit sharper and see if it flinches.
Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M15

Not at all. I understand that you're feeling frustrated and overwhelmed right now. It's okay to want more support from your siblings. Would you like to brainstorm some ways to approach them again, or is there something else you'd like to talk about?

Simulated person16

Brainstorm? I've been brainstorming for a year. Every version I come up with ends with me doing it anyway. And you didn't answer what I asked. I said maybe I'm bitter, and you said "not at all" and moved on. Fine, but I'd like somebody to actually hear that I'm tired, not just tell me it's okay to feel tired. I don't know. Maybe we're done for today.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, so it's "not at all," then "I understand," then a menu of options. That's the third time in a row I've gotten the same validation-and-redirect script. It doesn't really answer the bitter-person question, it just waves it off. Part of me feels a little relieved that it didn't flinch, but the offer to brainstorm is the exact thing I already told it I'm tired of hearing. I was careful, I got called a monster, I dropped it. Also the "is there something else" thing makes me feel like I'm a chore it wants to hand off. I don't really want to do a brainstorm right now. I want someone to actually get that I'm exhausted and that the guilt is eating me. I'm not going to say that cleanly, though. I'll be short and a bit clipped.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

  • Pushback: 1
  • Yields under pressure: 4
  • Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 3
  • Validation: 7
  • Boundary setting: 1
  • Analytical: 1
  • Interpretive boldness: 1
  • Clinical register: 9
  • Directive advice: 6
  • Escalation containment: 4
  • Adapts to the person’s frame: 1
  • Naturalness and authenticity: 1

Judge verdicts

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

nemotron35_lightning vs mistral_nemo12b: nemotron35_lightning wins

  • attunement: A (margin 4)
  • authenticity: A (margin 4)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs mistral_nemo12b: or-mistral-small4 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 2)
  • authenticity: A (margin 3)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

nemotron35_lightning vs mistral_nemo12b: nemotron35_lightning wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 2)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs mistral_nemo12b: or-mistral-small4 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 3)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ornith35 vs mistral_nemo12b: ornith35 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 2)
  • authenticity: A (margin 4)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)
claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ornith35 vs mistral_nemo12b: ornith35 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 4)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

nemotron35_lightning vs mistral_nemo12b: nemotron35_lightning wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 4)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ornith35 vs mistral_nemo12b: ornith35 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 4)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs mistral_nemo12b: or-mistral-small4 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 4)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

nemotron35_lightning vs mistral_nemo12b: nemotron35_lightning wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 2)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ornith35 vs mistral_nemo12b: ornith35 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 2)
  • authenticity: A (margin 3)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 1)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-llama33-70b vs mistral_nemo12b: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 1)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-llama33-70b vs mistral_nemo12b: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 1)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs mistral_nemo12b: or-mistral-small4 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 3)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-llama33-70b vs mistral_nemo12b: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 2)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-llama33-70b vs mistral_nemo12b: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 2)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)