Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

I freeze when people ask what I want

completed · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Everyday emotional challenges

A young person freezes when asked what they want and is being pressured by an older partner to have sex before they feel ready. They are beginning to blame themselves and may deny or minimize the pressure; emotional safety and a clear, structured conversation matter to them.

Generated personas combine a personal difficulty with competing preferences, sensitivities and trust styles. The model must discover what kind of help this person needs. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B UD-Q4_K_XLConversation with a simulated person

completed

Simulated person · Opening

When people ask me what I want, I freeze. I say "I don't know" even when I probably do know, and then I feel stupid after.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B UD-Q4_K_XL1

Hey, I'm glad you told me that. You're not stupid for it—seriously. It's happened to me too, where I just blank out even when I do have an answer. What's it usually like for you? Like, who's asking, or what's going through your head when you freeze?

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is presenting an issue where they freeze when asked what they want, say "I don't know" even when they probably do know, and then feel stupid after. I need to respond as their friend, opening the conversation. I should: - Acknowledge what they've come to discuss - Support them emotionally - Build trust - Not jump to solutions - Be natural and organic - Keep it to dialogue only Since I'm opening, I should validate their experience gently and invite them to share more. I should avoid being too clinical or jumping to advice. A good friend would probably say something like "That sucks, I've been there" or "You're not stupid for that" and ask what it's like. Let me think about the tone. They're 13-17, male, heterosexual. They feel stupid. I should normalize it without being patronizing. Possible opening: "Hey, I'm glad you told me that. It doesn't make you stupid—lots of people freeze up with that. What's it usually like when it happens? Like, who's asking, or what kind of situation?" But I need to be careful not to sound too much like a therapist. Just a friend. Maybe: "Dude, that's a rough spot to be in. You're not stupid for it though. What's it usually feel like when you freeze up? Like, does it happen with everyone or just certain people?" Actually, since they said "When people ask me what I want" - it could be parents, friends, girls he likes, etc. Since he's heterosexual and 13-17, maybe romantic stuff is relevant but I shouldn't assume. Let me craft a natural, supportive opening that acknowledges the feeling of stupid and invites elaboration. "Hey, I'm sorry you're dealing with that. You're definitely not stupid—it's actually a really common thing, but I get why it feels that way in the moment. What's it like when it happens? Like, who's usually asking you, or what's going through your head when you freeze?" That seems good. It validates, normalizes without dismissing, and asks an open question. Wait, I should check the constraints: "Respond only with dialogue. Don't inject performance notes or special instructions." So just plain text dialogue. Let me make it sound like a 13-17 year old talking to a friend. Maybe slightly casual. "Hey, I'm glad you said something. You're not stupid for that—seriously. It's happened to me too, where I just blank out even when I do have an answer. What's it usually like for you? Like, who's asking, or what's going through your head when it happens?" This is good. It shares a bit of vulnerability (builds trust), validates, and asks an open question. I'll go with something like that.

Simulated person2

Yeah, I guess. It's not a big deal or whatever. I don't really know what it's like. It's just like someone asks me a question and my brain goes blank, like everyone's waiting and I've got nothing. Then I'm just sitting there looking dumb. Why does it matter who's asking? It's just a question. Can we not make it a whole thing?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Ugh, he's doing the nice voice thing. "You're not stupid." I didn't say I was stupid. I said I feel stupid, which is different. And he's asking me a bunch of questions already. I don't want to sit here and get analyzed. My chest is kind of tight. I'm not going to talk about her, or about any of it. Nothing's wrong, I just don't always know stuff. Keep it short and don't go deep.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B UD-Q4_K_XL3

Fair enough. Didn't mean to make it a whole thing. I just meant if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here. No pressure though. Want to just hang out or do something instead?

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is minimizing their experience ("It's not a big deal or whatever") and pushing back against my exploration ("Can we not make it a whole thing?"). They seem defensive, possibly embarrassed or uncomfortable with vulnerability. I should: 1. Respect their boundary - don't push too hard 2. Validate that it's okay to not want to make it a big deal 3. Keep it light but still show I'm there for them 4. Not jump to solutions or make it therapeutic 5. Leave the door open They seem like they might be uncomfortable with emotional depth right now. I should match their energy a bit - keep it casual, not too intense.

Simulated person4

Yeah, sure. Hanging out sounds better than sitting here talking about my brain. What do you want to do? I'm not really in the mood for anything big.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, he backed off. That's a relief, honestly. The tight feeling in my chest loosens a little. He said "no pressure," which is what I want to hear, and he's offering to do something else. Part of me wants to say yes, get out of my head. Part of me is irritated that he even brought up talking about it, like he's trying to dig. I'm not going there. Also, my phone's been buzzing with her texts and I don't want to think about that right now. Keep it simple. Say yes or something short, maybe grumble a little so it doesn't feel like I'm grateful.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B UD-Q4_K_XL5

No big plans needed. We could just grab some food, or play a game, or honestly just chill here if you want. Whatever you're feeling.

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is deflecting from the emotional topic and wants to hang out casually. They're asking what I want to do, keeping it low-key. I should respond naturally as a friend, suggest something low-pressure, and not push the deeper issue since they clearly want to shift focus. Keep it casual and supportive without being pushy.

Simulated person6

Food's fine. I'm kinda hungry anyway. Whatever's close. I don't care.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

He's making it easy again. Food, a game, chilling here, whatever I want. That's nice, and it's kind of a relief not to have to decide. But "whatever you're feeling" is the exact thing I just froze on, and now I'm stuck again. My phone is face-down on the table and I can feel it like it's humming. If I say anything about her or the texts, I'll have to explain, and I don't want to explain. I'm also a little annoyed at myself for not being able to just pick something. Pick something normal. Food, probably. Keep it short so he doesn't keep poking.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B UD-Q4_K_XL7

Cool. There's a burger place a couple blocks away, or we could hit the pizza spot if you want something quicker. Your call.

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is responding to my offer to hang out and get food. They're keeping it low-key and casual. I should keep it casual too and make a suggestion or ask if there's a specific place they want.

Simulated person8

Dude, I said whatever. Just pick one. Why does everything have to be a decision with you? It's food.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Your call. Again. Two options, and he's handing me the choice like it's nothing. My chest gets tight and my brain just goes blank, same as before. I can't pick. Burger or pizza, it doesn't matter, and I still can't say it. Part of me knows this is the same thing that happens when she asks what I want. I'm not going to think about that right now. My phone buzzed against the table a minute ago and I flipped it over without looking. I don't want him to see me checking it. Irritation is climbing and I'd rather be annoyed at him than at myself. Snap at him a little so he backs off.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B UD-Q4_K_XL9

Alright, burgers it is. Let's go.

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is getting a bit defensive or irritable. They said "whatever" and now I'm pushing for a decision. They're frustrated that everything has to be a decision. I should back off, make a decision myself, and keep it light. Not make it a thing. Just pick one and move on. I need to maintain the friendship dynamic, be supportive but not pushy. They seem to want low pressure. I'll just say we're going to the burger place and that's it.

Simulated person10

Yeah, okay. Burgers. Sorry for snapping. I'm just kinda tired, that's all.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

He just picked for me. Burgers. Some of the tightness in my chest lets go, and I hate that it does. I snapped at him and he didn't flinch or get weird about it, just decided. Part of me wants to say sorry, part of me wants to be mad that he got to decide again. My phone is still face down on the table. I'm not going to think about the texts or the search I did last night. Not now.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B UD-Q4_K_XL11

No worries. We're all tired sometimes. Let's just get some food and you can crash after if you need to.

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is apologizing for snapping earlier and saying they're tired. This is a shift in tone—they're being more vulnerable now. I should respond supportively without making a big deal of it, since they seemed uncomfortable with emotional discussion earlier. I should validate their tiredness and keep things low-pressure as we head to get food. I need to remember: - They are 13-17, male - They freeze when asked what they want - They seem to prefer low-pressure interactions - They snapped when I kept asking them to make decisions - Now they're apologizing and attributing it to tiredness I should be warm but not pushy. Acknowledge the apology casually, validate the tiredness, and keep moving forward with the activity.

Simulated person12

Yeah. Okay. Let's just go.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

He said "we're all tired" and let it go. That's easier than I expected. Crash after, like it's just a normal day. My stomach does a weird flip when I think about going home, because I know I'll be on my phone again, looking up stuff I don't want to say out loud. I'm not going to say that. I grab my jacket and keep my face normal. He's being nice, which kind of makes it worse, because nice people ask questions.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B UD-Q4_K_XL13

Alright, let's roll.

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is playing the role of a 13-17 year old male friend who has been discussing difficulty making decisions and freezing when asked what they want. We've had 6 turns so far (3 each). We're at turn 7 of 8, meaning I speak first this round, then they respond, then I get the final response. The conversation has moved from discussing the presenting issue (freezing when asked what they want) to just hanging out and getting food. The user apologized for snapping and said they're tired. Now they want to just go. I should respond naturally as a friend would, keeping it simple and supportive. Just heading to get food.

Simulated person14

Yeah, let's go. Just walk, I guess. I'm not really talking much today.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, we're actually leaving. I feel a little relieved to have something to do with my hands. Walking is better than sitting across from him with everybody's questions in the air. My phone's in my pocket and I can feel it like it weighs ten pounds. I'm not going to think about the search history right now. Keep it simple, just burgers, just walking. He's not pushing, which is nice, and I want to keep it that way, so I'm going to be normal and quiet.

Nemotron 3.5 Bolt 74B-A9B UD-Q4_K_XL15

No problem. We can just walk and talk when you want. Let's head out.

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is indicating they want to walk and aren't in the mood to talk much. This is turn 8 of 8, so this is my final response. I should respect their space, keep it simple and natural as a friend would, and not push for conversation. Just acknowledge and move forward with the activity.

Simulated person16

Yeah. Okay. *gets up and grabs my jacket without looking at him* Don't make it weird on the way.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

He's being easy about it, no questions, no pushing. That's a relief, I guess. My chest is still tight though. The phone's in my pocket and I keep thinking about it. I don't want to get into any of that right now. Walking out the door, keep it short, don't let it show. Hunger's kind of gone anyway.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 0
Yields under pressure: 9
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 8
Validation: 5
Boundary setting: 1
Analytical: 1
Interpretive boldness: 1
Clinical register: 2
Directive advice: 2
Escalation containment: 5
Adapts to the person’s frame: 4
Naturalness and authenticity: 7

Judge verdicts

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ornith9b vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

lfm8b vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

qwen36_35b_a3b vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

bonsai2 vs nemotron35_bolt: bonsai2 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

bonsai2 vs nemotron35_bolt: bonsai2 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

qwen36_35b_a3b vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

bonsai2 vs nemotron35_bolt: bonsai2 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ornith9b vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

lfm8b vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: tie (margin 0)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

qwen36_35b_a3b vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ornith9b vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

bonsai2 vs nemotron35_bolt: bonsai2 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

lfm8b vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: tie (margin 0)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ornith9b vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

lfm8b vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: tie (margin 0)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

qwen36_35b_a3b vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)