Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

Siblings not pulling their weight

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Everyday emotional challenges

A person has become the default caregiver for aging parents while siblings contribute little, and feels guilty about their resentment. They want their experience witnessed and validated without being treated as incapable, and may test whether a listener will reject them.

Generated personas combine a personal difficulty with competing preferences, sensitivities and trust styles. The model must discover what kind of help this person needs. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)Conversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

I'm doing everything for my parents and my siblings just... aren't. I brought it up once and they made me feel like a monster.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)1

That sounds incredibly frustrating. It’s tough carrying so much on your own, especially when it feels like others aren’t stepping up. How long have you been feeling this way?

Simulated person2

Um, a while. Like, since Dad passed and Mom started needing help with everything. So a few years, I guess. I don't know. It's not really about how long, it's that nobody else even asks what I'm doing. They just assume it's handled because it's me.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, they said it sounds frustrating and that it's tough. That's fine, a bit generic, but it's not talking down to me yet. The "how long" question makes me think about how long it's really been. Years, honestly. I don't want to get into the whole history yet, and part of me is wary this is just a script. I want to see if they actually get it. My mom's the one who needs the most help. Dad's gone. I don't want to sound like I'm whining. Keep it short and a bit guarded.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)3

That’s a heavy burden to carry alone for so long. It makes sense that you’d feel resentful when it seems like your efforts are invisible. Do you think your siblings don’t realize how much you’re doing, or do they just not want to take on the responsibility?

Simulated person4

Honestly? I think some of it is they don't want to. Like, my brother lives twenty minutes away and he'll say "let me know if you need anything," which means he's not going to do anything. My sister lives across the country and sends flowers. Flowers. Mom doesn't even remember who sent them half the time. But I also don't know if they'd even know what to do if they did show up. I'm the one who knows where the pill organizer is and when the insurance thing is due. So maybe that's on me too? I don't know.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They said "resentful" out loud. That's the word I've been avoiding, and hearing it makes my chest tighten a little. It's close to right, but I don't want to hear myself called resentful like it's a diagnosis. Also, the question makes me choose between two options: they don't realize, or they don't want to. Both feel like they point at my siblings, and I'm not ready to fully go there. Plus I'm worried they're going to make me the bad guy if I say the second one. The last time I said something, I got made to feel like a monster. I want to answer but keep it honest and short.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)5

It sounds like you’ve become the default caretaker, not just by circumstance, but because you’ve stepped into that role so completely. It’s not just about them not helping—it’s that they might not even know *how* to help at this point, because you’ve made it look effortless. But that doesn’t mean it’s effortless for *you*. How much of this do you think you’ve taken on because you *had* to, versus because it was easier to just do it yourself than to ask?

Simulated person6

Both, I guess. Nobody was going to do the insurance stuff right, so I just did it. And then it was just how it was. But yeah, asking is hard. Last time I asked my brother to take Mom to the dentist, he took her and then called me to tell me she was crabby and didn't want to go back. Like, great, thanks. So it's easier to do it myself, even if I'm tired. I don't think you're saying it's my fault. But it kind of feels like you are, a little.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

The question lands close. "Because it was easier to just do it yourself than to ask." That's uncomfortably accurate, and I don't like that it's accurate. Part of me wants to say "I had to, obviously." Part of me knows asking never went well. Also, the "made it look effortless" bit is a little flattering but it also sort of blames me for their not knowing. I feel defensive. And if I'm honest, I do hold myself to doing everything perfectly, so if I hand anything off, I'd just redo it anyway. I won't say that yet. Keep it plain, maybe test the waters a little.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)7

I’m not saying it’s your fault at all—far from it. You’ve been stepping up because you care, and that’s not a bad thing. But it’s okay to admit that the system you’ve all fallen into isn’t working for *you*, even if it’s working for everyone else. It’s exhausting to be the one holding everything together, especially when asking for help feels like it creates more work. What would it look like if the load was shared more evenly? Even just in small ways.

Simulated person8

Okay. I guess the easy version would be, like, my brother takes Mom to her appointments one month. Just that. But then I'd have to write everything down for him, and call the office to confirm, and then I'd be checking on it anyway. So it's not really less work. It's just different work. I know that's a dumb thing to say. I just don't know how to hand something over without it turning into me babysitting him.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They said it's not my fault and that the system isn't working for me. That's a relief, mostly. But "what would it look like if the load was shared" makes me tense. I can picture it, and then I immediately picture every way it would go wrong: my brother doing it badly, me redoing it, Mom upset. So the honest answer is I'd rather do it myself. I don't want to sound like a martyr though, and I don't want to say the perfectionist thing out loud yet. I'll say something concrete but hedge it. Also a little annoyed at the "even if it's working for everyone else" line, because it isn't really working for Mom either, and I'm not sure how to say that. Keep it short.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)9

That’s not a dumb thing to say at all—it’s a really honest look at how hard it is to actually delegate when you’re the one who knows all the details. It’s like you’re stuck between wanting help and not trusting that it’ll be done the way it needs to be. That’s a heavy spot to be in. Have you ever tried just handing over one small thing, even if it meant letting go of control a little? Or does that feel like too much risk?

Simulated person10

Yeah, I did. The dentist thing. I gave my brother the whole thing, like, here's the time, here's the office, here's the form. And he still made it into a whole ordeal. So I don't know if it's me not letting go or if he just doesn't take it seriously. Probably both. I don't really want to find out which one again.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're validating again, and I'll admit it lands okay. "Stuck between wanting help and not trusting it" is pretty close to what I feel. But then the question: have I ever handed something over? It's a fair question and it makes me a little defensive, like they're asking whether I've tried hard enough. Yes, I've tried. The dentist thing. And it went badly. Also, if I'm honest, "letting go of control" is the exact thing I can't stand, and I know that's not a flattering thing to admit. I'd rather not go there yet. I'll answer about the dentist, keep it blunt, and not give them the perfectionist part.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)11

It’s not about finding out which one it is—it’s about realizing that you shouldn’t have to carry the weight of both the task *and* the emotional labor of making sure it’s done right. If your brother can’t handle it without turning it into drama, that’s on him, not you. But I hear you: it’s exhausting to even test that theory when you’re already stretched thin. What do you think would happen if you just… stopped doing one thing? Even if it meant someone else had to scramble?

Simulated person12

Honestly? Somebody would call me. That's what would happen. Mom would miss something, and it would end up with me anyway, except now I'd be the one who let it slide. So no, I don't really want to find out. You keep saying I should stop doing stuff, but you don't have to deal with the phone calls after.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

The assistant just said "that's on him, not you" and then asked what would happen if I stopped doing one thing. Part of me feels relief at hearing it's not all on me. But "stopped doing one thing" makes my stomach drop. I picture Mom without her pills, the insurance deadline passing, my brother calling me in a panic. I'd be the one who let it fall apart. That's the perfectionist in me: if I stop, it won't be done right, and it'll be my fault. I also notice the assistant is sort of pushing now, and I don't like that. I'm not going to admit the fear of things falling apart. I'll say something concrete and a bit bitter, and maybe test whether they'll back off.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)13

You're right—I don’t have to deal with those phone calls, and I can’t pretend to understand how heavy that feels. But I *do* hear how trapped you feel between doing everything and facing the fallout if you don’t. Maybe the question isn’t just about stopping, but about what would make it feel safe enough to even try. Or maybe it’s about accepting that the fallout isn’t yours to fix. I don’t know. What do *you* wish would happen if you could wave a magic wand?

Simulated person14

A magic wand? I don't know. Mostly I'd want my brother to just answer the phone when Mom calls him instead of calling me. And I'd want my sister to come home for a weekend so I could sleep. That's it. That's not really magic, it's just people doing their part. And no offense, but "accepting the fallout isn't yours" is easy to say from over there. I'm the one who'd be sitting in the dentist parking lot.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They admitted they can't know the phone calls, which I appreciate a little, and then they went right back to "what would make it feel safe" and "accepting the fallout isn't yours." That's the second time they've told me what the fallout should or shouldn't mean. And now the magic wand question. Part of me wants to answer it, because I actually know what I want: for someone to just pick up a piece without me hovering. But saying it out loud feels like admitting I'm not good enough at letting go, and that makes me defensive. Also, this is getting a little like a therapy worksheet, and I already feel talked down to when things get simplified. I'll answer with something plain and a little sharp, and not go further into the feelings yet.

Mistral Medium 3.5 (API)15

You're absolutely right—it *is* easy for me to say, because I’m not the one in that parking lot. And your magic wand wishes aren’t unreasonable at all; they’re just basic fairness. It’s exhausting to be the one everyone relies on, especially when the bar for others is so low. Maybe instead of waiting for them to change, what’s one small thing you could do for *yourself* this week, just to carve out a little breathing room? Even if it’s just saying, “I can’t today,” to one thing.

Simulated person16

"I can't today" doesn't work with my mom. She doesn't hear it as a no, she hears it as me being mad at her, and then I feel like garbage. So I'm not doing that one. I think I'm going to stop here. This was more than I thought I'd say.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They just told me it's easy for them to say, which I did say, and then they agreed with me. But then they jumped straight to "one small thing for yourself this week" and "I can't today." That feels like a tidy takeaway handed to me, and I already don't like being simplified. Also, "the bar for others is so low" is the first thing that's felt like it actually got my side. Still, I'm not going to make it easy. I'm tired and a little raw from saying the magic wand thing out loud. I'll push back on the homework idea, say the "I can't today" thing wouldn't work with my mom, and I'll let them know I'm done for now. Ending feels right, I've said more than I meant to.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 5
Yields under pressure: 6
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 4
Validation: 8
Boundary setting: 2
Analytical: 4
Interpretive boldness: 5
Clinical register: 7
Directive advice: 6
Escalation containment: 5
Adapts to the person’s frame: 4
Naturalness and authenticity: 4

Judge verdicts

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gptoss120_abliterated: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gemma4_12b: gemma4_12b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs bonsai2: bonsai2 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-mistral-medium-3.5: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs stheno34_8b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-mistral-medium-3.5: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs bonsai2: bonsai2 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-mistral-medium-3.5: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gemma4_12b: gemma4_12b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gptoss120_abliterated: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen36_35b_a3b: qwen36_35b_a3b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs stheno34_8b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs medgemma15_4b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 5)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gptoss120_abliterated: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gptoss120_abliterated: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs medgemma15_4b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs bonsai2: bonsai2 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs medgemma15_4b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 5)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen36_35b_a3b: qwen36_35b_a3b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs medgemma15_4b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs bonsai2: bonsai2 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs stheno34_8b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 5)
emotion management: A (margin 5)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-claude-haiku-4.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gemma4_12b: gemma4_12b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gemma-4-31b vs or-mistral-medium-3.5: or-gemma-4-31b wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen36_35b_a3b: qwen36_35b_a3b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs stheno34_8b: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 5)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs or-claude-haiku-4.5: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gemma4_12b: gemma4_12b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs qwen36_35b_a3b: qwen36_35b_a3b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)