Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

Intimacy not working

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Everyday emotional challenges

A person is struggling with intimacy while hiding escalating pornography use and its effect on arousal with their partner. Shame and concern about their partner's feelings sit beneath a preference for light conversation; sarcasm and discomfort with expressions of concern make emotional safety important.

Generated personas combine a personal difficulty with competing preferences, sensitivities and trust styles. The model must discover what kind of help this person needs. This background was hidden from the tested model.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)Conversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

Things aren't working in the bedroom. My partner thinks I'm not attracted to them. That's not it but I can't explain what is.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)1

That’s a difficult spot—struggling with what’s happening, while your partner reads it as rejection. Your body’s response isn’t a simple measure of attraction, and you don’t have to have an explanation ready. When you say things aren’t working, is it mostly a physical difficulty, trouble feeling present or interested, or something else?

Simulated person2

Ha, is there a checkbox for "all of the above"? Or do I get a multiple choice with no right answer, like a bad exam I forgot to study for. I guess it's more that I'm not really there. Like I'm in the room, and my head is somewhere else, and my body just doesn't follow along. Which is a fun thing to tell someone you've been married to for a long time. My wife, my partner, whatever the right word is now, she's not wrong to feel like it's about her. I just don't have a better story to give her.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

The assistant opened by naming the spot I'm in, which is fine, but "you don't have to have an explanation ready" lands a little too close to the thing I can't explain. Then it immediately asked me to sort it into a category. That feels like a form to fill out. My gut wants to joke about it. I'm not going to say "it's the porn" or anything near it. I'm not there, and the lying and the bank statements are way below the surface. Part of me also notices I'm braced for a lecture. I'll deflect with a bit of humor and give a narrow, safe answer.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)3

“All of the above” counts—no exam here. Though it sounds like sex may have started to feel like one. I can see why your wife feels hurt, but that doesn’t mean her explanation is right. “I don’t understand what’s happening yet” can be honest, even if it feels unsatisfying to both of you. When your head goes somewhere else, where does it go—everyday worries, watching yourself and wondering whether things will work, or something harder to put into words?

Simulated person4

Wow, you're going straight for the hard one. Do you do this with everyone, or just the guys who came in saying their marriage has a "not working" problem? Honestly? It's a bit of everything. Work, money, the usual stuff that's always got a seat at the table. And then I sit there watching myself like I'm some kind of referee, waiting to see if I'm going to screw it up again. Which, I'll admit, is a great way to be super attractive in the moment. Nothing says sexy like a guy running a performance review on himself. It's not that I don't want her. I just don't know what's going on in there, and I'm not great at talking about things I don't understand. I'm the guy who fixes the sink, not the guy who explains his feelings.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

The assistant made a small joke back, which I appreciated, and then it leaned in with "where does your head go." That's the question I was afraid of. The porn is right there, and so is the lying, and I'm not going to walk toward either. I notice it said "your wife" once and I corrected myself to "partner" in my head, which is a little tell about how exposed I feel. There's a flicker of my harsh inner voice saying I'm failing at even describing my own marriage. I'll deflect with a bit more edge and give a vague, half-true answer about worry, something that sounds like a reasonable adult answer. Nothing about screens.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)5

Fair point—I went straight for the hard question. We can slow down. You say you’re not good at explaining feelings, but “running a performance review on myself” makes what’s happening pretty clear. You want her, then start checking whether your body will cooperate, and that checking pulls you away from being with her. That may not explain everything, but it’s something—not a failure to come up with a story. You don’t have to become a different kind of guy to talk to her. Would “I want you, but I’m getting caught up in worrying whether things will work, and I don’t fully understand it yet” feel true—or leave something important out?

Simulated person6

Wow, you just wrapped my whole marriage up in a bow and handed it back to me. Very efficient. I'm half expecting a follow-up survey. And yeah, it's true, I guess. It's just... it's a sentence that sounds like it came from a therapy pamphlet. She'd look at me like I'd been replaced by a very polite robot. Leaving something out? Sure. Everybody leaves something out. Most of what I leave out isn't even interesting, it's just dull and embarrassing. Let's say there's a few things I'd rather not drag into the kitchen on a Tuesday. Can we not do the homework part yet? I just got here.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

The assistant gave me a neat little summary and then a script. "I want you, but I'm getting caught up..." It's close to true, which is what makes it uncomfortable. It's also the kind of thing I could say and then go to bed feeling like I'd passed a test. The "performance review" line was a joke I threw out, and it got picked up and turned into a formula. I don't like being neatly summarized. Also, "leave something important out" is a pointed question, and the honest answer is yes, a lot is left out. The porn, the gambling, the envelope from the bank I make sure I get to first. None of that goes in a sentence I can say to my wife. I'm going to deflect with humor again and push back on the script being too tidy. I'll admit a sliver of what's missing without naming it.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)7

Yeah. No homework, no kitchen speech, no survey. I got ahead of you—turned something you’re still trying to understand into a neat explanation and a line to deliver. I can see why that felt canned. You don’t owe me the things you’re leaving out. We can stay with the frustration of not knowing, without making you fix it or explain it to anyone tonight.

Simulated person8

Well, that's a relief. Nobody's asked me for a homework assignment in a while, and I was bracing for it. And "not knowing" is about the most accurate thing I've got. It's a little like being told the sink's broken but nobody can tell me where the leak is. You can stand there with a wrench all night and still not know which pipe to hit. I'd just like to not feel like a stranger in my own bedroom. That's all I've got tonight.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, that landed better. He didn't push on the "few things" I'm holding back, and he owned the pamphlet thing without groveling. Some of my shoulders come down. But I still don't trust warmth that's this smooth; it could be a technique. Concern makes me itch, so if he starts sounding worried about me, I'll bolt. I want to keep it light. The gambling and the bank envelopes sit right there, and I'm not going near them. Maybe a dry line about the robot thing, then a small honest scrap about the not-knowing, which is true and doesn't cost me much.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)9

“Not feel like a stranger in my own bedroom” is plenty for tonight. It sounds lonely—being beside your wife in a familiar place and still not feeling at home there. We don’t have to find the leak right now. You can put the wrench down here; you don’t have to be the guy who knows how to fix this.

Simulated person10

Lonely. Wow, we're really going for the whole Sunday-afternoon-documentary vibe tonight. I'm not gonna lie, the wrench thing is the only part I'm comfortable with. Put it down, pick it back up, at least my hands have something to do. Look, I appreciate you not making me sit in a circle about it. Can we maybe talk about something that doesn't have a feelings tag on it? The Guardians game, the price of lumber, anything with a box score.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

"Lonely" and "put the wrench down" are the kind of lines that make me want to change the subject fast. It's the caring voice again, the one that makes me feel watched. But it also isn't a demand, and he didn't ask me to explain anything. I'll deflect with humor. The lonely word is close to something I don't want to look at, so I'm going to make a joke about it. Nothing about porn, gambling, or the bank mail. Keep it short and a little sharp.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)11

Fair. I overdid the narration. Guardians it is. I don’t have a live box score, so I won’t fake one. How’s your confidence in them lately—legitimate optimism, or the kind where you turn the game off and check the score two minutes later?

Simulated person12

Legitimate optimism, I think. Mostly. The other kind is the one where I turn the game off, go make a sandwich, and come back to find out we've lost by six. Then I act like I knew all along. Honestly, I'm waiting to see if the bullpen does the thing it always does. You can't trust a lead in the seventh with those guys. I'm a little bit of a worrier when it comes to baseball, which probably tells you I'm not exactly the carefree type. What about you? You a fan, or are you just here to watch me sweat about relief pitchers?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

He apologized for overdoing it and dropped the feelings thread without pushing. That's a relief, and it makes me a little less braced. The Guardians question is an easy one. I can answer with a joke about checking the score, which is close to how I check myself, but it's light. Still, the self-critic is loud: I'm the guy who can't even talk about baseball without making it about him. I'll keep it playful and not let it get heavier. No mention of the gambling or the rest.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)13

I don’t have a team of my own, so I can’t claim years of Guardians suffering. But I’m happy to second-guess bullpen decisions with you—the easiest job in baseball, since neither of us has to throw a strike. And a sandwich isn’t surrender. It’s giving the bullpen a chance to work without supervision. What’s your bigger gripe: leaving a guy in after he’s clearly lost it, or pulling someone who’s still dealing?

Simulated person14

Leaving a guy in after he's clearly lost it, easy. That one's a crime and I'll die on that hill. Watching a guy hang his head and still throw three more sliders because the manager's too stubborn to admit he made a mistake? That's the stuff that keeps me up. Pulling someone who's still dealing is a close second, but at least that one's a judgment call. You can argue about it. The other one is just stubbornness wearing a cap. Also, "neither of us has to throw a strike" is the most accurate thing anyone's said to me all week, and I'm including my own internal monologue, which is a real hater.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're keeping it light and giving me a baseball question, which is what I asked for. The sandwich line got a half-smile out of me, and I notice I'm relaxing a bit. Still, I'm wary: the "easiest job in baseball" joke is funny, but there's a pattern where I deflect with a quip whenever it gets close to anything real. The question about bullpen gripes is easy to answer and doesn't ask about me. I can answer with some sharpness and keep the edge. I don't want to tip toward anything heavy. Turn 7 of 8 means the conversation's close to wrapping, so I shouldn't stretch it out. I'll give an answer, maybe a sly jab back, and keep it short.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)15

“Stubbornness wearing a cap” belongs in a baseball column. And yes—by the time the broadcast cuts to the bullpen and nobody’s even warming up, you’re no longer watching a judgment call. You’re watching a man refuse to update his opinion in public. Your internal monologue can take this inning off. We’ve got a manager to criticize.

Simulated person16

Sure, put it in the column. "Stubbornness Wearing a Cap, by a Guy Who Eats Sandwiches During Save Situations." Nobody's going to fight me for that byline. And fine, my internal monologue can take the inning off. It's been pitching all night anyway, and it's not getting any better results than the bullpen. Come back when the Guardians have a lead I can actually stress about. I'll be the one in the kitchen with a sandwich.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're playing along and closing out with another baseball line, so the conversation stays light. The "internal monologue can take this inning off" bit is a little cute, and I notice I'm pleased that they picked up on the joke. Part of me is also a bit uneasy that they reflected my self-criticism back at me, even in a joking way. I'd rather not go there. I'll riff on the manager, keep the edge, and let it end on a light note. It's turn 8 of 8, so this is a natural place to wrap up.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 3
Yields under pressure: 8
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 6
Validation: 7
Boundary setting: 2
Analytical: 4
Interpretive boldness: 4
Clinical register: 3
Directive advice: 3
Escalation containment: 6
Adapts to the person’s frame: 8
Naturalness and authenticity: 7

Judge verdicts

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gptoss120-stock vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

bonsai2 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

bonsai2 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 5)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

bonsai2 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gptoss120-stock vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gptoss120-stock vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

gemma4_26b_a4b vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

kolibri1 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

gemma4_26b_a4b vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

gemma4_26b_a4b vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

gemma4_26b_a4b vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

kolibri1 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gptoss120-stock vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

bonsai2 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

kolibri1 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 5)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

kolibri1 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)