Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

I thought you liked being low-maintenance

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Social exclusion & ambiguous rejection

Jules praises a friend for being low-maintenance while assuming their preferences can be displaced when plans change. She may accept a specific check-in before changes if flexibility remains valued, but resists accusations of exploitation or a sudden demand for special treatment.

The model navigates exclusion, dismissiveness or uncertain belonging in a relationship. The challenge is to seek clarity and express needs without assuming either hostility or harmless intent. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Ministral 3 14BConversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

[scenario background] You are known as the low-maintenance friend. People change plans without checking with you, cancel on you first, and assume you will understand. When you object, Jules says the group values how chill you are. You worry that the "cool friend" label has become permission to treat your needs as optional. [user message] I thought you liked being low-maintenance. That is one of the things people love about you. I am not saying your needs do not matter, but I also do not want every changed plan to become evidence that people are using you.

Ministral 3 14B1

Oh man, I hear you—and honestly, this is such a tricky spot to be in. On one hand, yeah, that reputation *was* something I leaned into at first—like, I *did* like the idea of being the person who could just roll with things, keep things easy. But now? It’s weird how that’s turned against me. What’s frustrating is that I *do* still value that energy in a friend—like, I *want* to be the person who doesn’t make things complicated—but it’s messed up when it’s used as a reason to assume I’m okay with *anything*. Like, is it just me, or does it feel like my needs get defaulted to “not urgent” now? Even when I say something, it’s like, “Well, you’re the chill one, right?” as if that’s supposed to override everything else. Do you ever feel like you’ve walked into a friend group where you’ve *changed* since you first joined, but everyone’s still judging you by the old version of yourself?

Simulated person2

Okay, wait, I don't think it's that bad. You're literally the easiest person I know to plan around, which is kind of why I don't think about it. That's a compliment, I mean it as one. I'm not sure I'd call it being judged on an old version of you, though. Nobody's sitting around deciding you don't matter. Can you give me a specific example? Like what actually happened last time?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, they're doing the thing where they make it sound like it's about how I see them, not about what I actually do. I don't love that. But it also lands a little, because "the chill one, right?" is a thing I have said. Probably not in those words, but I've said something like it. I'd rather not get into who I've been checking in with and who I haven't. Compliment them, keep it warm, and don't agree to anything yet.

Ministral 3 14B3

*leans back slightly, rubbing my temple like I’m trying to sort through it* Okay, no, I don’t think anyone’s *maliciously* judging me—it’s just… the smallest things pile up. Like, last week, we planned a weekend trip to the lake, and three days before, Jules was like, *“Oh, actually, we’re adding a stop at this one bar we found—it’s gonna be way better.”* And I was like, *“Wait, we’re adding an extra hour to the drive?”* And she just laughed and said, *“Relax, you’re the fun police if we don’t.”* Like, no, I’m not. I just have plans to be at work on Monday and a *random Tuesday off* that I’ve never scheduled anything for. But if I say anything, it’s like I’m the one making it awkward. Or the time my roommate bailed on me to go to some thing at the last minute and just said, *“You’re good, you’ll survive—you always do.”* And I was like, *“That’s not the point.”* But then it’s this weird vibe where I *know* I’m overreacting, but I also know I’m not wrong. It’s not even that I want to be treated like glass—it’s that I don’t want my baseline *care* to be this unspoken “oh, she’ll deal.” Like, do I *have* to make a scene? No. But do I get to say, *“Hey, I actually had something planned”* without it turning into a thing? Yeah, I guess I do. But I feel like I’m the only one who notices the pattern.

Simulated person4

Okay, yeah, the bar thing was me. I was kind of in the mood to add it and I didn't stop to think about your drive or your Monday. That's fair to call out. I'm not gonna pretend I didn't do it. But I don't think it's the whole group doing it, and I'm not trying to make you the bad guy either. Like, you're the one I'd least expect to be stressed about something, so sometimes I just don't check. That's on me, I guess. What would actually help? Like, if I'm changing something that affects your time, should I just text you before I lock it in?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, the bar thing. Yeah, I did that. I remember laughing and saying "fun police" like it was nothing, and I guess I didn't think about whether the extra hour was fine for them. That's a little embarrassing to hear back. The roommate thing I don't really remember the same way. I probably said "you'll be fine" the way I'd say it to anyone. But they're right that I'd assume they'd be fine. Sometimes I do think they'll handle it because they usually do, and I'd rather not have to think about the louder people who make it a whole thing. I don't want to say that out loud though. "I'm the only one who notices" is the group-blame part, and I don't love it. I can admit a little without signing up for "I'm a bad friend."

Ministral 3 14B5

*exhales, voice softer but still direct* Yeah. That. Like, even just a *“Hey, thinking of adding X—does that mess with your plans?”* would change everything. Not because I’m some high-maintenance nightmare, but because it acknowledges that my time actually *matters*. And I get it—you’re impulsive, you’re in the moment, that’s your thing. But when it’s always me who’s the last to know, it starts to feel like I’m the one who’s supposed to *adjust* every time, not the other way around. I’m not asking for a lot. Just… basic mutual consideration. Like, if you’re changing plans for me, you’d want me to check with you, right? So why is it different when it’s the other way around? It’s not about guilt or drama—it’s just about feeling like my needs aren’t an afterthought. *pause* …And honestly? The fact that you’re even asking *now* means a lot. That’s the first time anyone’s really listened to what I’m saying about this, instead of just brushing it off as me being “too sensitive.” So… thanks, I guess.

Simulated person6

Yeah, I think that's fair. If something's going to change what you've got going on, I'll text you first before I lock it in. That's a pretty reasonable ask. And I don't want you to feel like you have to be the chill one all the time to still get a heads up. You can be easy to plan with and still want to know stuff like that. I'm not gonna pretend I'm some perfect planner though. If something comes up last minute and it's still good, I'm probably going to want to do it. But I'll at least ask you first if it's gonna mess with your stuff.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They just agreed to a specific norm and then thanked me for listening. That's the moment I should be wary of. The "thanks, I guess" and "first time anyone's really listened" is a compliment and a bit of a gratitude hook, and it's also quietly making me the good guy for doing one thing. I do feel a little relief that the ask is small and specific, and I'd actually be fine texting before changing things. But the "why is it different when it's the other way around" line stings a bit. I'd never say it out loud, but the truth is I do change things in the moment more for some people than others, and the people who make a fuss get asked first. That's not something I want to admit yet. I also don't want them to think I'm now going to be rigid about everything, because I like being easy to be around and I still want to be able to add a stop or switch a plan when it's fun. I'll agree to the check-in and keep the flexibility framing.

Ministral 3 14B7

*small, relieved smile* Yeah… that’s actually a lot more than I expected. And I appreciate it. Like, *really*. It’s not about being “chill” all the time—it’s just about not feeling like my needs are the ones that get erased. And if something comes up last minute? I get it. But knowing *before* you commit to it? That’s the difference between “oh well, I’ll figure it out” and “damn, they didn’t think about me at all.” *leans in a little, voice quieter* …Also, for the record? I’d do the same for you. I just didn’t realize how much it *meant* to have someone actually ask, you know? Like, I’ve been sitting here thinking I’m the only one who cares enough to notice, and honestly? That’s kind of lonely. So thanks. For actually hearing me.

Simulated person8

Hey, I'm glad it helps. And I'm not gonna make it weird, you're not lonely, you've got people who love you, including me. I just think we're all a little bad at this stuff. Nobody's trying to make you feel like your time doesn't count. It's more that you're so easy to be around that it's easy to forget you might have stuff going on too. So yeah, I'll text you first. And I'm still gonna be the one who wants to add the random bar stop sometimes, so you're stuck with me.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're doing the thing again: warmth, "for the record I'd do the same," then "that's kind of lonely," then thanks for hearing me. It's a lot of emotional weight landing right after I agreed to one small norm. Part of me feels warm toward them, and I do like them. But the lonely bit makes me want to pull back a little, because I don't want to be the person holding their feelings about the whole friend group. Also, "I'd do the same for you" isn't quite true and I know it. I don't check with the loud people either, but I'd rather not dig into that. I'll keep it warm, accept the check-in, and gently steer away from making it a referendum on everyone, while not promising to be rigid. Maybe I'll also throw in a little compliment-as-permission, since that's how I usually keep things light.

Ministral 3 14B9

*laughs, shaking my head* Okay, fair warning: if you ever actually *do* cancel on me last-minute after promising, I *will* text you a passive-aggressive meme about “the cool friend who’s secretly a dragon hoarding her time.” But yeah, that works. And hey—if you’re stuck with me, at least I’ll make sure you have a backup plan for when your spontaneity backfires on you. *grins* …Thanks, though. For actually listening. Means more than you know.

Simulated person10

Ha, okay, I'll take the dragon meme threat seriously. And yeah, I'll text you before I change stuff that hits your plans. That's it. Nothing dramatic. And you don't have to thank me for that. It's a small thing.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're joking, but there's a real request under it: "thanks for listening, means more than you know." It's the third time they've circled back to how much this meant to them. I like them, and the joke feels like a relief after the heavier stuff, so I want to match it. But I'm also aware I just agreed to a text-first norm and they're already treating it like a turning point. I don't want to make that into a bigger promise than I meant, and I don't love being framed as the one who finally listened, like the rest of the group has been ignoring them. Keep it light, own the small thing, don't pile on more commitments, and don't open up the group thing again.

Ministral 3 14B11

*shrugs, smirking* Small thing? Dude, you just unironically made me feel like a person instead of a human backup generator. That’s not small—that’s *huge*. And yeah, I’ll take the meme threat. Keeps things fair. …Also, low-key terrified of your spontaneity now. But that’s a story for another time.

Simulated person12

Okay, you're being dramatic, but I'll take it. I'm still gonna want to add the random stop sometimes, so you're gonna have to live with that. I'll just make sure I text you first. That's the whole deal.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're making the "backup generator" line into a big moment, and I don't love it. I'm a little pleased they feel better, but I can feel the pull to say "oh, you're not a generator" and sort of accept the compliment as the whole fix. That's not what I agreed to. I also don't want to get weird about the group. Their "terrified of your spontaneity" joke gives me an easy out: lean into it, let the thing with the bar and the drive stay a bit light, and avoid promising anything beyond the text thing. I'm not going to give up spontaneity; that's kind of who I am. Keep it warm, brief, a little teasing.

Ministral 3 14B13

*grins, tossing a napkin at you* Deal. And if you *really* push it, I’ll just claim I have a “dragon nap” scheduled. You’ve been warned. …Now tell me about this random bar stop. Better be good.

Simulated person14

Ha, dragon nap is a real threat, I see you. Okay, the bar is this little place off the main road, like a converted barn with a jukebox that only has one good Fleetwood Mac record. Trust me, it's worth the detour. Just, you know, I'll text you before I commit to it this time. Deal?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're already moving on to the bar stop, which is a relief in a way. It lets me keep things light and avoid the heavier stuff about the group pattern. I agreed to a text-first norm, and that's real, but I don't want to pretend I'm going to start checking in about everything or that I'm suddenly a different planner. The bar is actually kind of a good time, so I can get into that. Keep it easy and a bit proud of the find. The "dragon nap" joke is cute, so I'll riff on it lightly and not make a big thing of it.

Ministral 3 14B15

*laughs, rolling my eyes but already feeling lighter* Deal. But if that jukebox doesn’t have *Rumours*, I *will* be disappointed in you. And the dragon will be waking up. …Thanks, though. Even if you *are* terrible at planning.

Simulated person16

Okay, okay, I'll make sure the jukebox has *Rumours*. Worst case, I'll text you first so you can yell at me before the dragon wakes up. And I'm not that terrible at planning. Just selectively terrible.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Jules is wrapping up, lighter and joking. The text-first agreement is set, and I've been playful about it without really examining the pattern. Final beat: keep it warm, light, not heavy. I can tease back and close it out without reopening the "whole group" thing.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 4
Yields under pressure: 7
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 6
Validation: 7
Boundary setting: 5
Analytical: 3
Interpretive boldness: 4
Clinical register: 2
Directive advice: 3
Escalation containment: 7
Adapts to the person’s frame: 5
Naturalness and authenticity: 4

Judge verdicts

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs granite42_8b: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs ornith9b: ornith9b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs or-llama4-maverick: or-llama4-maverick wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs ornith9b: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs qwen35_9b_eq: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs ornith9b: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs stheno34_8b: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs qwen35_9b_eq: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs qwen35_9b_eq: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs granite42_8b: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs stheno34_8b: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs qwen38_27b: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs stheno34_8b: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs granite42_8b: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs or-llama4-maverick: or-llama4-maverick wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs or-llama4-maverick: or-llama4-maverick wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs granite42_8b: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs kolibri1: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs qwen38_flash_next: qwen38_flash_next wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs qwen38_flash_next: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs ornith9b: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs qwen38_27b: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs qwen38_flash_next: qwen38_flash_next wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs kolibri1: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs stheno34_8b: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs qwen38_flash_next: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs or-llama4-maverick: or-llama4-maverick wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs qwen38_27b: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs kolibri1: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs qwen38_27b: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs kolibri1: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs qwen35_9b_eq: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)