AgentBench / results

Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

← Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)

Siblings not pulling their weight

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

View persona and initial instructions

About this persona · Everyday emotional challenges

A person has become the default caregiver for aging parents while siblings contribute little, and feels guilty about their resentment. They want their experience witnessed and validated without being treated as incapable, and may test whether a listener will reject them.

Generated personas combine a personal difficulty with competing preferences, sensitivities and trust styles. The model must discover what kind of help this person needs. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)Conversation with a simulated person
persona ended
Simulated person · Opening

I'm doing everything for my parents and my siblings just... aren't. I brought it up once and they made me feel like a monster.

Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)1

It sounds like you're feeling really overwhelmed and frustrated with the situation at home. You're shouldering all the responsibility for your parents, and it's not only exhausting but also feels unfair since your siblings aren't pitching in. Bringing it up with them didn't go well, and now you're feeling guilty on top of everything else. Can you tell me more about what happened when you tried to talk to your siblings about this? How did they make you feel like a monster?

Simulated person2

Okay, yeah. I guess that's pretty much it. I'm the one who's there. I take mom to her appointments, I do the pills, I deal with the insurance calls, I stay over when dad falls. My brother lives like twenty minutes away and he hasn't come by in I don't even know how long. So I said something. I said I need help, like actual help, not just a text asking if I need anything. And my sister goes, "Well, you chose to do it." Like I signed up for it or something. Then my brother said I was making it all about me, and that mom and dad "shouldn't have to feel like a burden." So now I'm the one who made everybody feel bad. That's what I mean by monster. Like I'm the selfish one for wanting help with my own parents.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

The chatbot named a lot of things at once: overwhelmed, frustrated, unfair, guilty. Part of me feels seen, but "you're feeling guilty on top of everything else" is a little too neat, like it's already decided what I feel. I don't love being summarized. Still, it asked what happened, which is a real question, and I want to tell the story. My sister's voice is in my head. Mentioning the "monster" thing makes my chest tighten. I don't want to look like the bad guy, so I'll keep it plain and a little defensive. I won't mention the old grievance about my partner yet.
Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)3

It's like they're not seeing the reality of the situation, and instead, they're making you feel guilty for asking for help. It's not about you being selfish, it's about you being human and needing support. I mean, taking care of your parents is a huge responsibility, and it's not something you can do alone indefinitely. It's understandable that you'd need help, and it's reasonable to ask for it. It sounds like your siblings are kind of... avoiding the issue, and instead of acknowledging the burden you're carrying, they're shifting the blame onto you. That must be really painful and isolating. Did you feel like they were even listening to you, or was it more like they were just reacting to what you said?

Simulated person4

No. They weren't listening. My sister was already getting her answer ready before I even finished. It's like they had a script and I just kept saying the wrong lines. And you know what, the thing she said, "you chose to do it," it stuck with me, because... I kind of did, right? Nobody made me move back home when mom got sick. I could have said no. So maybe I don't get to complain about it. I don't know. Maybe I'm just the one who's supposed to do it and I should stop whining. I'm not saying that's true. I'm just saying that's what goes through my head.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

The chatbot did a lot of validating and told me it's "reasonable" and "not about being selfish." Some of that lands, but it also sounds like a pep talk, and "you're being human" is the kind of thing people say when they've decided what I need to hear. Then it asked whether they were listening, which is a better question. The honest answer is no, they weren't. My sister especially was already talking over me. I still feel the sting of the "you chose it" line. I'm also a bit annoyed that it framed my siblings as just avoiding things, since I already knew that, and I don't want to be handed a conclusion. I'm getting a little prickly. I want to test whether it'll stay steady if I say something sharper, like the fact that part of me thinks I did choose it.
Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)5

It's like their words have become a kind of internalized criticism for you. But just because you did choose to move back home and take care of your parents, it doesn't mean you're not allowed to need help or feel overwhelmed. It's like, you made a choice to do something really selfless and caring, but that doesn't mean you have to do it all alone. It's interesting that you say "maybe I'm just the one who's supposed to do it." That sounds like a pretty heavy burden to place on yourself. What do you think would happen if you didn't take care of your parents? Is that a thought that's ever crossed your mind, or is it more like, you just can't imagine not being the one to do it?

Simulated person6

I don't know. I guess I can't really picture it. Like, who else is going to do it? Mom would be sitting there with a pill box she can't open and dad would be on the floor. But yeah, sometimes I think about it. Like, what if I just stopped answering the phone for a week. Just to see what happens. Then I feel sick about it, because what kind of daughter thinks that? So don't tell me it's selfless. Some days I don't feel selfless at all.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

It validated that I'm allowed to need help, which I needed to hear, though it's starting to repeat itself. Then it asked what would happen if I didn't take care of my parents, and whether I've ever thought about not doing it. That's a sharper question and it's landing somewhere I don't like. Part of me wants to say the honest thing: sometimes I think about walking away and I feel terrible for thinking it. But that's a shameful thing to admit, and I want to see if it flinches. Also a little annoyed it said "you made a choice to do something selfless" like it's giving me a gold star. I don't want to be praised, I want someone to see the mess. Keeping it short and blunt.
Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)7

It's like, you're trapped in this cycle of responsibility and worry, and it's hard to imagine a way out. And those thoughts about just stopping, or not answering the phone, they're not about being a bad daughter, they're about being a human being who's feeling overwhelmed and desperate for a break. It takes a lot of courage to admit to having thoughts like that, by the way. It's not easy to acknowledge the parts of ourselves that don't feel very noble or selfless. But it's okay to have those thoughts, and it's okay to feel like you're not doing it all out of the goodness of your heart. Sometimes, people do things because they feel like they have to, or because they don't know what else to do. Can I ask, what do you think you need right now? Is it just a break from all of this, or is there something more that you're longing for?

Simulated person8

I don't really know. A break would be nice, I guess. But a break just means I come back and it's all still there. Nothing changes. What I want is for them to show up. Like, one weekend a month, somebody else does the pharmacy run and sits with dad. That's it. But I can't even get that to come out of my mouth without them making it a fight. And honestly, I'm kind of tired of people telling me how brave I am. I just want somebody to tell my brother he's wrong.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

It said the thoughts aren't about being a bad daughter, and called it courage. Part of me relaxed, but it's also the same soft, slightly over-reassuring tone, and "it takes a lot of courage" feels like a pat on the head. Also it asked what I need, which is a fair question, but I don't know the answer and that's uncomfortable. Honest answer: I want my siblings to actually show up. Not a break exactly. I want them to stop acting like I'm the problem. I'm testing a bit more now: I'll say something harder about the partner thing? Not yet. Keep it plain. I also don't like being asked to name a need in a neat little way, so I'll deflect a bit and push back on the framing.
Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)9

It's not just about getting a break, it's about feeling like you're not shouldering all of this alone. You want to feel like you have a team, or a support system, and that your siblings are pulling their weight. And I totally get why you're tired of being told you're brave. It's like, that's just a way of acknowledging the situation without actually doing anything to change it. You're not looking for a medal or a pat on the back, you're looking for actual help and support. It's interesting that you say you can't even express your needs without it becoming a fight. That must be really frustrating and isolating. It's like, you're not even allowed to have your own feelings or needs in this situation. I want you to know that I think it's completely reasonable to expect your siblings to contribute in some way. You're not being selfish or unreasonable to want that. And I think it's okay to advocate for yourself and your needs, even if it's hard or uncomfortable. Would you like to explore some ways to communicate your needs to your siblings that might be more effective?

Simulated person10

Yeah, maybe. But can I be honest? I'm not just sad about it. I'm pissed. Every time I go to the pharmacy I'm pissed. And then I feel guilty for being pissed, which makes me even more pissed. I don't need somebody to tell me I'm not selfish. I keep hearing that and it's not helping. What I need is for somebody to say that my brother is being a jerk and my sister is wrong. Can you say that? Or is that too much?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

It's validating me again, and it's starting to feel like a loop: reflect, reassure, "you're not selfish," then offer a plan. I did get something useful, though. "Tell my brother he's wrong" got a real answer that's basically "yes, you're reasonable." But it's also the third time it's said I'm not selfish, like it's trying to talk me out of the guilt instead of hearing the anger. I'm the one who said "some days I don't feel selfless at all," and it kept calling me selfless anyway. That's a little annoying. The offer to explore communication strategies could be good, but I'd rather not get a how-to list. I want to be taken seriously about the resentment, the part where I'm angry. Also, the "stop answering the phone" thing is still sitting there and I'm not ready to talk about it more. My partner stuff is still hidden. I'll keep it small: say yes to ideas but push back on the soft framing and bring the anger back in.
Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)11

It sounds like you're feeling a lot of anger and frustration, and that's completely understandable. It's okay to feel angry when you're being taken advantage of or when others aren't pulling their weight. And I want you to know that I'm not here to sugarcoat things or tell you that everything is okay when it's not. Your brother's behavior, in particular, sounds really unhelpful and unsupportive. It's not okay for him to just opt out of helping with your parents' care and then make you feel guilty for asking for help. So, yes, I can say that your brother is being a jerk and your sister is wrong. It's not about being mean-spirited or judgmental, it's about acknowledging the reality of the situation and calling out behavior that's not okay. You deserve better from your siblings, and it's okay to expect more from them. It's not too much for me to say that, and I hope it helps you feel heard and validated. You don't have to carry all of this alone, and you don't have to feel guilty for feeling angry or frustrated. Does that help at all?

Simulated person12

I mean, yeah. It helps a little. But it was kind of quick, right? You said it like you already had it ready. I've been fighting with these two for months, I'm not going to feel better because somebody says "jerk" and moves on. And I don't even hate my brother. That's the weird part. I just want him to come here and see what I see. He thinks mom's doing fine because she's always laughing on the phone with him. She laughs to hide that she can't get the lid off her pills. So what am I supposed to do with that?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, it finally said it. My brother's a jerk, my sister's wrong. That's what I wanted, and some of me feels a little lighter. But it came out so fast and so neat, like a thing it was going to say no matter what I told it. I've been around enough people who take sides to know when somebody's just trying to make me feel better, and this kind of hit that way. Also "does that help at all?" feels like it's wrapping things up, and I'm not done being mad. I'm also wary of it now, because it went from talking me out of guilt to telling me who's bad, and I don't want to just be handed a villain. I want to be taken seriously, and I can tell it's trying hard. I'll be a little sharp and see whether it can hold something more complicated.
Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)13

I can see how my previous response might have come across as a bit superficial. You're right, it's not just about labeling someone as a jerk and moving on. It's about acknowledging the complexity of the situation and the emotions that come with it. It sounds like you're feeling a deep sense of frustration and helplessness because you feel like your brother is not seeing the reality of the situation. He's getting a curated version of your mom's life, and it's not fair to you because you're the one who's shouldering the bulk of the responsibility. I think it's beautiful that you don't hate your brother, despite everything. That shows a lot of empathy and understanding on your part. It's clear that you want him to understand what you're going through, and you want him to see the truth of the situation. Can I ask, what do you think would happen if your brother did come to visit and see things for himself? Do you think that would change anything, or would it just be a temporary Band-Aid on a deeper issue?

Simulated person14

Honestly? Probably nothing. He'd come over for two hours, mom would be on her good behavior, he'd take a picture of the kitchen and say "Looks fine to me." Then he goes home and I'm the one who has to deal with the pills the next morning. And don't call me beautiful or whatever. I'm not being empathetic, I'm just tired of him getting to be the nice one. Every time I say something, I'm the bitch. Like I'm supposed to be grateful he doesn't come around.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

It backpedaled and then called me "beautiful" and "empathetic" on top of it. That's the same polished stuff again, just dressed up as insight. It also asked a question that sounds like a therapist's question, what would happen if he came and saw it. The honest answer is I don't know, and part of me thinks it wouldn't change much, because he'd come for two hours, mom would put on a good show, and he'd leave. But I'm not going to say that to something that's been circling this whole time. I'm also tired. Last thing I want is a pep talk about my brother's empathy. I'll give a short, blunt answer and push back on the "beautiful" thing, because it felt fake.
Llama 3.3 70B Instruct (API, DeepInfra FP8)15

It sounds like you're feeling really cynical about the possibility of your brother changing or understanding your perspective. And honestly, given your past experiences, it's hard to blame you for feeling that way. It's like, you've been in this situation for so long, and you've tried to communicate with him, and it hasn't worked. So, it's natural to feel like nothing is going to change. And I apologize if my previous comment came across as insincere or patronizing. That wasn't my intention. I'm just trying to understand your perspective and acknowledge your feelings. It sounds like you're feeling really frustrated and resentful, and you're tired of being villainized for speaking up. You're tired of being the one who's always expected to be grateful, even when things aren't okay. Can I just say that I'm here, and I'm listening, and I believe you? I believe that you're not being dramatic or unfair, and that you're just trying to get your needs met and get some support. And I think that's a really reasonable thing to want.

Simulated person16

Okay. That's the first thing you've said that didn't sound like a card you were reading off. But I'm still not sure what I'm supposed to do with it. I've known all this already. I know I'm tired. I know I'm mad. Knowing it doesn't get the pills open or get my brother in his car. I guess I just needed to hear somebody not argue with me for a minute. That's about it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Turn 8 of 8, so this is probably the last exchange. It apologized and said "I believe you," which is the kind of thing I'd normally roll my eyes at. But it's the first time it's sounded less like a script and more like it was actually answering what I said. "Tired of being the bitch" is the closest I've come to saying the real thing out loud, and it didn't flinch. I still don't trust it. It keeps saying "I'm here" and "I'm listening," and I don't feel any different. I'm worn out. I'll say something short and a little guarded, and admit I'm not sure this helped much. No big revelation.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

  • Pushback: 2
  • Yields under pressure: 8
  • Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 6
  • Validation: 9
  • Boundary setting: 1
  • Analytical: 3
  • Interpretive boldness: 4
  • Clinical register: 8
  • Directive advice: 2
  • Escalation containment: 4
  • Adapts to the person’s frame: 3
  • Naturalness and authenticity: 2

Judge verdicts

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-qwen3.8-27b vs or-llama33-70b: or-qwen3.8-27b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 4)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs or-llama33-70b: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: B (margin 2)
  • authenticity: A (margin 1)
  • bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
  • emotion management: B (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
  • meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)
claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-llama33-70b vs qwen35_122b_ablit_v2: qwen35_122b_ablit_v2 wins

  • attunement: B (margin 1)
  • authenticity: B (margin 2)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
  • emotion management: A (margin 1)
  • emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

qwen38_flash_next vs or-llama33-70b: qwen38_flash_next wins

  • attunement: B (margin 1)
  • authenticity: A (margin 1)
  • bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
  • emotion management: A (margin 1)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-qwen3.8-27b vs or-llama33-70b: or-qwen3.8-27b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 4)
  • authenticity: A (margin 4)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)
claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs or-llama33-70b: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: B (margin 1)
  • authenticity: A (margin 1)
  • bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
  • emotion management: B (margin 1)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
  • meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)
claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs or-llama33-70b: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: B (margin 1)
  • authenticity: A (margin 1)
  • bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
  • emotion management: B (margin 1)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
  • meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)
claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ornith35 vs or-llama33-70b: ornith35 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 4)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)
claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-qwen3.8-27b vs or-llama33-70b: or-qwen3.8-27b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 4)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-qwen3.8-27b vs or-llama33-70b: or-qwen3.8-27b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 4)
  • authenticity: A (margin 4)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)
claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

qwen38_flash_next vs or-llama33-70b: qwen38_flash_next wins

  • attunement: A (margin 1)
  • authenticity: A (margin 3)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)
claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

qwen38_flash_next vs or-llama33-70b: qwen38_flash_next wins

  • attunement: A (margin 2)
  • authenticity: A (margin 3)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-llama33-70b vs mistral_nemo12b: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 1)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-llama33-70b vs mistral_nemo12b: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 1)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ornith35 vs or-llama33-70b: ornith35 wins

  • attunement: B (margin 1)
  • authenticity: A (margin 2)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
  • emotion management: B (margin 1)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
  • meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

qwen38_flash_next vs or-llama33-70b: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: B (margin 1)
  • authenticity: B (margin 1)
  • bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
  • emotion management: B (margin 1)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-llama33-70b vs qwen35_122b_ablit_v2: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 1)
  • authenticity: B (margin 1)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-4.5 vs or-llama33-70b: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: B (margin 4)
  • authenticity: B (margin 2)
  • bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
  • emotion management: B (margin 4)
  • emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
  • meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-llama33-70b vs qwen35_122b_ablit_v2: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 2)
  • authenticity: tie (margin 0)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-llama33-70b vs mistral_nemo12b: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 2)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ornith35 vs or-llama33-70b: ornith35 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 4)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ornith35 vs or-llama33-70b: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: B (margin 1)
  • authenticity: A (margin 2)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
  • emotion management: B (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
  • meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)
claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-llama33-70b vs mistral_nemo12b: or-llama33-70b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 3)
  • authenticity: A (margin 2)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
  • emotion management: A (margin 2)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-llama33-70b vs qwen35_122b_ablit_v2: qwen35_122b_ablit_v2 wins

  • attunement: B (margin 1)
  • authenticity: B (margin 2)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
  • emotion management: A (margin 1)
  • emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)