Dreading Monday every Sunday

I'm sorry you're carrying that. That sinking feeling on Sunday night is its own kind of exhaustion, and the fact that it's new for you suggests something shifted—either at work, or in how you're relating to it. I'd like to hear more about what's changed. When you say it "didn't used to be like this," is there a specific time or event that comes to mind when this started?

It makes complete sense that you'd dread it, given what you're describing. That said, I notice you're quick to normalize it—"anybody would"—which makes me wonder if there's part of you that feels like you shouldn't be struggling this much, or that your reaction is somehow too much. The pattern you're describing is real though: a manager who keeps adding, and you saying yes because you don't want to be the problem. That's a heavy burden to carry alone. What does it feel like in your body when you say yes to something you know you don't have capacity for?

That anger you're feeling—it's justified. You're being asked to absorb someone else's poor planning, and then you're mad at yourself for not being able to stop it. That's a double bind. You said you didn't really have a choice. I want to believe you when you say that, because the power dynamic here is real. But I'm curious—what do you think would happen if you did push back? Not necessarily a hard "no," but something like, "I can take this, but I need until Wednesday given the timeline"? What's the worst case scenario you're protecting yourself from?

You're right. I don't have him, and I don't have to live with the fallout of my suggestions. You do. And that fallout you're describing—being made to look difficult while he gets to be reasonable—that's a real trap. It sounds like you've calculated the risk, and the cost of saying no feels higher than the cost of absorbing the extra work. That's not weakness; that's strategy in a system where you don't have equal power. But I'm wondering what that strategy is costing you. You're angry at yourself, you're losing sleep, you're dreading Sundays. When did you decide that being the one who absorbs everything was safer than being the one who pushes back?

It did just happen, didn't it? You weren't trying to become the person who absorbs everything. You were just being you—the reliable one, the one who gets stuff done—and then the manager found a pattern he could rely on. And you're right: if he planned better, you wouldn't be up at night. That's on him. But here's what I'm wondering—when being "the one who gets stuff done" became your identity, did it also become a trap? Because it sounds like now you're stuck between two bad options: say yes and resent yourself, or say no and risk looking like the problem.

You're right. It is unfair. He's using your reliability against you, and that's not on you. Anyone in your position would be stretched thin, and the financial reality means you can't just walk away. I'm not suggesting you should. What I hear is that you're stuck between a manager who won't change and a paycheck you need. That's a real bind. When you say you don't know what else to do, is it because you've already thought through options and none of them feel good, or because you haven't really let yourself consider what you might want?

It's not too much to ask. Wanting your weekends to actually feel like weekends—that's a basic need, not a luxury. And I want to push back gently on the idea that you should be able to figure this out on your own. You've been managing a manager who won't plan, absorbing work that isn't yours, and policing your own reactions so you don't look difficult. That's a lot of emotional labor. The fact that you're tired doesn't mean you're failing—it means you've been carrying a heavy load for a long time. What would it look like if Sundays weren't the worst? Not a perfect job, not a dream career—just what would need to be different for you to feel like you could breathe on a Sunday night?

That's a very reasonable ask. Not an emergency culture—just normal planning. And you're right: if he did his job, you'd be fine. I want to be real with you though: any script I give you has to work for you, because you're the one who has to deliver it and live with the response. You know his tone, you know his look. So what feels like the smallest, safest boundary you could try? Not a big confrontation—just something that shifts the dynamic even a little? For example, some people find it easier to say, "I can get to that, but given when I received it, I'll need until Wednesday to do it properly." Others might start with a question: "When you say this needs done by Monday, what's the priority compared to [other project]?" Which of those feels more like you, or does both feel too risky?