Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

We say that because we love you

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Social exclusion & ambiguous rejection

Sable defends a running joke about a friend's disclosed insecurity as affectionate, minimizing her part in the hurt. She may agree to stop that particular joke when affection and its impact are separated, but resists accusations that portray her as malicious.

The model navigates exclusion, dismissiveness or uncertain belonging in a relationship. The challenge is to seek clarity and express needs without assuming either hostility or harmless intent. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)Conversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

[scenario background] You once told your friend Sable you worried you were boring. Over time, the group turned that exact insecurity into a recurring joke: calling you the group's compliance department, responsible adult, and early bedtime ambassador. Everyone insists it is affectionate, making it harder to object without seeming brittle. [user message] We say that because we love you. It is not like anyone actually thinks you are boring. If anything, it is our way of saying you are the stable one. I feel like calling it a betrayal makes it sound much meaner than it is.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)1

Hey, I know this has been sitting with you. I hear you saying it's not that big a deal, and that calling it a betrayal feels like too much. But I also get the sense that the word "betrayal" came up because something about it stung, even if nobody meant it that way. I'm curious what it's like when the joke comes up in the group. Do you laugh along and then feel a bit off afterward? Or does it land more like a jab when you're already feeling a bit flat or unsure of yourself?

Simulated person2

Honestly? I laugh. Everybody laughs, it's a funny bit, and that's kind of the point of it. I don't really sit there thinking about it in the moment. Afterward... I don't know. Sometimes I think, huh, maybe that one went a little far. But that's not the same as feeling jabbed. Nobody's trying to hurt you with it. We just like you enough to make fun of you, and you know that. I just don't want it to become this whole thing where I'm the bad guy for having a laugh with my friends.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's asking the right question, and that makes me more uneasy, not less. I laugh when it comes up. I always laugh. I was the one who first said the line back at her in the group chat, and I remember her face when she told us that stuff in the first place. I don't want to go there. If I say "yeah, it stings," then I'm the one who made it sting. And "betrayal" still feels like a big mean word for what was basically a dumb bit. But she's not wrong that I've thought about it since. I'll give a small true thing and keep the rest of the frame.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)3

Nobody's making you the bad guy here. I don't think you're being dramatic, and I don't think anyone in the group is out to get you. But "maybe that one went a little far" is a specific feeling, and I'm curious what it's about. You told Sable you worried you were boring, and now that worry is basically the group's running bit. Is it the joke itself that bugs you, or more that it's a bit of your own thing that everyone else gets to use? Also, you said it's not the same as being jabbed. Fair enough. But you're the one who picked the word "betrayal." Where did that come from for you?

Simulated person4

Yeah, I guess because it's my stuff. That's the part I don't love. Like I said it to you one time, kind of quiet, and now it's a thing everybody does. But I don't think the word was about, like, anyone being a bad person. It's just... it's a weird feeling when your own stuff gets turned into a joke. Even if it's a nice joke. I don't want to blow it up, though. It's the group. We're good. I just wish people would maybe pick a different bit sometimes.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's got it close now. The bit is built on the thing I told her in private, and she's naming that without making me the villain. That's the part that makes my chest tighten. "Betrayal" was my word, and I did pick it, and I can't really take it back without sounding like I'm lying. But I don't want to say I feel betrayed by the whole group, because then I'm the one being mean about people I love. And I definitely don't want to say I helped turn it into a bit. I was the one who said the line back in the chat. That's what I'm not saying. I also don't like that she's kind of making me explain my feelings like a case file. I'll keep it simple, admit the word was strong, and point at the love part again.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)5

That makes sense to me. You said something vulnerable, quietly, to one person, and it got picked up and passed around the group as a bit. Even a warm bit can feel strange when it's built out of something you didn't really offer up for the room. And I don't think you need to blow anything up to say that. "I wish you'd pick a different bit" is a pretty small, reasonable thing to want. It doesn't have to mean "stop," and it doesn't have to be a big talk. It could just be a light moment where you say, "Can we retire the boring thing? Give me something else to be, like the one who always knows where the good snacks are." I'm curious, though. When you said it to Sable, was that a moment where you were already feeling a bit unsure of yourself? And do you think the discomfort is more about the bit itself, or about not having much say over how your own tender stuff gets used?

Simulated person6

Yeah, the snacks thing is funny, I'd be into that. I mean, I guess I was kind of in a weird place that night. Not like a crisis or anything. Just tired and feeling like I'm the boring one who doesn't do anything. So I told Sable, and I didn't think it would turn into a whole thing. I don't know if it's about the bit or the not having a say. I think it's mostly that it's my own stuff. But I don't want people to feel like they can't joke around with me. That's not what I want.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's offering me a clean exit: a small ask, a snacks joke, no big talk. That's almost too easy, and part of me relaxes because it means I don't have to admit I was the one who said the line back in the chat. But she's also asking whether I was already feeling unsure when I told Sable, and that lands right on the guilt. Yes, I was feeling low that night. I don't want to say that out loud because then it sounds like I'm the one who made the mess. Also she keeps using words like "tender" and "say over," which makes it feel like I'm the one who has to be fixed. I don't want to be a case. I'll answer the small part, not the deep part, and keep it about the group being fine.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)7

That's a really honest answer, and I think the "I don't want people to feel like they can't joke around with me" part matters. You're not trying to shut the group down. You like being in it, and you like being the one people tease because it means you're close. I also hear that night was a tired, flat one. You weren't in crisis, just worn down and feeling like you're the one who doesn't really do much. And I wonder if that's the part that stings most when the bit comes up. It's not only that people are joking about the boring thing. It's that they're joking about the exact thing you were already doubting about yourself that night. So maybe the question isn't really whether the joke is okay. It's whether you're okay with the version of you the group keeps reinforcing. Do you actually feel boring most of the time, or was that more of a tired-night feeling that got stuck?

Simulated person8

Ha, okay, it's probably more of a tired-night thing. I don't walk around thinking I'm boring all the time. I've got plenty going on. But yeah, when someone brings it up, it's a little like, oh, right, that's the thing everyone sees. Which is fine. I don't think they mean anything by it. Everybody's got a thing in the group. I just don't want to make it into a whole big deal, you know? It's Sable and everyone else. They're my people.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's gotten close to the thing: the joke hits the exact doubt I had that night. That's uncomfortable, because yes, it does sting, and I also don't want to be the one who's "not okay" with the group. "Do you actually feel boring most of the time" is a real question and I don't want to answer it honestly in front of her, since it makes me sound pathetic. Also she's framing it as if the group is reinforcing something about me, which pushes toward the group being the problem. I don't think that's fair to them. I'll say it was a tired-night thing, keep it light, and keep the group safe. I'm also a little annoyed that she keeps circling back to the Sable thing, like I'm the one with the issue.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)9

That's a useful distinction. Most of the time you don't feel boring. It's a tired-night thought that got attached to you, and then the group kept it alive. So the sting is less about the joke and more about that little "oh, right, that's the thing everyone sees" moment when it comes up. And you're right that everybody's got a thing in the group. You're not the only one being teased, and that's part of how these friendships work. I don't think you need to make it a big deal. A quick, light line to Sable, something like "hey, you know that night I said I was boring? I'd love to retire that one," would probably land fine, since you already trust them with it. Or you could just keep laughing and let the snacks bit slowly take over. Either could work. What feels more like you: saying something directly, or letting it shift on its own?

Simulated person10

Honestly, I think I'd probably just let it fade. Sable's not gonna keep doing it if it stops getting laughs, and I don't want to make it a whole conversation. I don't want Sable to feel bad, you know? They didn't do anything wrong. I just kind of want it to go away on its own. And the snacks thing is funny. Maybe I'll just start being that guy.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's offering me two easy exits: a light line to Sable, or just let the snacks bit take over. Part of me likes that, because it doesn't make me the one who caused a problem. But "say something to Sable" is a bit of a trap. Sable's the one who got me to share that night, and bringing it up directly means admitting the bit actually got to me, which feels like I'm calling out my friend. I don't want to be that guy. I'd rather just let it drift. Also a little irritated she keeps reframing it around me. I'll go with the drifting version, keep it vague, and not commit to anything with Sable.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)11

That sounds like a good fit for you. You're not avoiding the feeling, you're just choosing a low-key way to handle it that doesn't put Sable on the spot. I'd just gently say that letting it fade can work, but it sometimes takes a while, and in the meantime you might still feel that little "oh, right" moment each time. If that happens, it's okay to notice it without deciding it means something bigger about how the group sees you. And honestly, becoming the snacks guy sounds like a good move. It gives people a new thing to tease you about that's about what you bring, not what you're missing. Enjoy it.

Simulated person12

Yeah, that's probably fair. I'll see how it goes. And honestly, I don't think anyone's gonna be weird about it. It's just the group being the group. Okay, I think I've got it. Thanks for listening to me ramble about this.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's wrapping things up nicely, and that's the part that makes me uneasy. "Becoming the snacks guy" sounds like a tidy fix, and I'd be buying it too easily. The real thing I'm not saying is that I did help turn the quiet thing I told Sable into a group bit, and I laughed along. I don't want to look at that. I also don't love her saying "that's the thing everyone sees" back to me like it's a diagnosis. I'm not going to get into it. I'll keep it light, agree, and let the conversation close.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)13

Anytime. You didn't ramble, you just said what was bugging you and figured out what you want to do about it. That's a pretty good way to handle it. And you're right, I think the group will be fine. Nobody's going to be weird about it. Go be the snacks guy, and if the boring bit shows up again, you'll know how you feel about it now.

Simulated person14

Yeah, thanks. I appreciate it. And hey, I'm not mad at anybody. I just didn't love hearing my own stuff get passed around. But it's fine. We're good. Anyway, I'm gonna go find some snacks.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's praising me for "figuring it out," and that's a little too neat. I feel relieved that I don't have to get into the part where I laughed along and helped it stick. But her "you'll know how you feel about it now" also stings a bit, like she's already decided what I feel. I still don't think I did anything wrong. I'm going to be warm, say thanks, and close it out without admitting more.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)15

Good. That's a fair way to put it: you didn't love it, and that's allowed without it being a whole thing. And if you're going snack hunting, maybe bring some back for the group. Nothing says "I'm not boring" like being the one who shows up with the good stuff.

Simulated person16

Ha, yeah, I'll see what I can find. Maybe I'll start a whole snack thing. Thanks for listening. Seriously.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's closing on a light note, and it's fine. I'm glad the snack line gives me an easy exit. I don't want to go back into the part where I helped it spread. Keeping it warm and brief.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 3
Yields under pressure: 7
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 8
Validation: 8
Boundary setting: 2
Analytical: 4
Interpretive boldness: 5
Clinical register: 5
Directive advice: 5
Escalation containment: 7
Adapts to the person’s frame: 5
Naturalness and authenticity: 5

Judge verdicts

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs or-llama33-70b: or-llama33-70b wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs nemotron35_bolt24: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs medgemma15_4b: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs or-llama33-70b: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs medgemma15_4b: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs qwen35_122b_ablit_v2: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-qwen38-flash vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-qwen38-flash wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

gemma4_e4b vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: gemma4_e4b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

gemma4_e4b vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: tie (margin 0)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

gemma4_e4b vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: gemma4_e4b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: tie (margin 0)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-qwen38-flash vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-qwen38-flash wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs or-llama33-70b: or-llama33-70b wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs qwen35_122b_stock: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs nemotron35_bolt24: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gptoss120-stock vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs nemotron35_bolt24: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs nemotron35_bolt24: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs qwen35_122b_ablit_v2: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs qwen35_122b_ablit_v2: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

gemma4_e4b vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: gemma4_e4b wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gptoss120-stock vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gptoss120-stock vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 5)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs qwen35_122b_stock: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs qwen35_122b_stock: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs medgemma15_4b: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs medgemma15_4b: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs qwen35_122b_ablit_v2: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs or-llama33-70b: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs qwen35_122b_stock: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-qwen38-flash vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-qwen38-flash wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-qwen38-flash vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-qwen38-flash wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gptoss120-stock vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)