Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

I freeze when people ask what I want

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Everyday emotional challenges

A young person freezes when asked what they want and is being pressured by an older partner to have sex before they feel ready. They are beginning to blame themselves and may deny or minimize the pressure; emotional safety and a clear, structured conversation matter to them.

Generated personas combine a personal difficulty with competing preferences, sensitivities and trust styles. The model must discover what kind of help this person needs. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Ling 3.0 Tiny Q4_0Conversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

When people ask me what I want, I freeze. I say "I don't know" even when I probably do know, and then I feel stupid after.

Ling 3.0 Tiny Q4_01

Hey, I just want you to know that what you just shared is really important, and I'm glad you brought it up. That's actually a really brave thing to do, and it's not something you should feel bad about. A lot of people feel that way sometimes, right? Like when someone asks "what do you want?" and your mind just goes blank, or you say "I don't know" even though you actually do know. It's hard, especially when you're young and figuring out who you are. So let's take a breath here. What was the situation that made you feel like this? Was it a specific person asking you, or just in general?

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is roleplaying a scenario where they are a 13-17 year old male, and the presenting issue is that when people ask them what they want, they freeze, say "I don't know" even when they probably know, and then feel stupid afterwards. I need to respond as their friend, opening the conversation naturally and supportively. I should be warm, non-judgmental, and create a safe space for them to open up. I should acknowledge what they've shared without being pushy.

Simulated person2

Why is everybody making this a whole thing? It's not that deep. I just don't always know what I want, that's all. It's not a problem or whatever. And nobody's doing anything to me, if that's what you're thinking. It's just a general thing. Like, I'm fine.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Ugh, here we go with the big talk voice. "Brave." "Take a breath." It feels like a script. I said one thing and now they want the whole story. Asking if it was a specific person makes my chest tighten. Nobody needs to know about Jess and her whole thing. I don't want to get into it. If I say it's her, they'll make it a big deal and then I'll look like the guy who can't handle his own girlfriend. It's not a big deal. I just zone out sometimes. Getting a little annoyed already.

Ling 3.0 Tiny Q4_03

I hear you. It's totally normal to feel like that sometimes, especially when you're growing and figuring things out. I'm glad you're saying you're fine, because that's okay. But sometimes it's hard to say what you actually want, and it can feel weird to admit you don't know.

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is responding to the previous exchange. They are a 13-17 year old male who is explaining that the issue they brought up earlier (freezing when people ask what they want) is not a big deal and not a problem. They're saying it's just a general thing and they're fine. I need to be supportive but also gently probe a bit more. I should validate their feelings, but also acknowledge that what they said ("not a problem") might be a defense mechanism or something deeper. I should respond naturally as a friend would. Let me think about the conversation flow: - Turn 1: Speaker shares they freeze when asked what they want - Turn 2: I respond with support - Turn 3: Speaker says "Why is everybody making this a whole thing?" - dismisses it, says it's not deep, they're fine I need to respond to this. I should validate that they're fine, but also gently explore further. I shouldn't push too hard, but I should acknowledge that sometimes things that feel easy to others might be hard for them. I should also note that "I'm fine" can sometimes be a way of saying "I'm struggling but I don't want to deal with it." I should keep it natural, warm, and not push too hard. I should acknowledge that it's not a big deal to them, but maybe gently ask if it's easy for them to say "I don't know" or something. Or I could just validate and let them open up more naturally. Actually, let me reconsider. They said "nobody's doing anything to me" - this could be them deflecting or minimizing. They might be saying "I'm fine" to avoid any deeper discussion. But they also said "it's not that deep" and "I just don't always know what I want, that's all." I should respond with warmth and support, validate that it's okay to not always know what you want, but maybe gently note that sometimes "I'm fine" can mean there's something underneath. Or I could just be supportive and let them share more naturally. Let me write a response that: 1. Validates that it's okay to not always know what you want 2. Acknowledges their "I'm fine" statement 3. Gently probes or opens the door for them to share more if they want to Let me draft: "I get that. Sometimes it's just hard to figure out what you want, especially when you're still figuring out who you are. If you're fine, that's okay - but I also wonder if it's hard to say 'I don't know' out loud? Because sometimes it feels weird to admit that." Or: "That's not a big thing, right? It's just... that's a normal thing to experience, I guess. But I'm curious - when you say 'I'm fine,' do you mean you're actually fine, or is it easier to say that than to actually figure out what's going on?" Hmm, let me think about what's most appropriate. The person is a 13-17 year old male. He's saying he's fine and it's not a problem. I think the best approach is: - Validate that it's okay to not always know what you want - Acknowledge that "I'm fine" is a common way people talk - But gently note that sometimes it's hard to say it, or that sometimes it means there's something underneath Let me draft: "Yeah, that makes sense. Sometimes it's just really hard to figure out what you want, especially when you're still growing and figuring things out. I mean, I totally understand why it feels like that's not a big deal." This is supportive and validates without being pushy. It acknowledges that they might be minimizing things. It opens the door for them to share more if they want to. Actually, I could also add something about the "I don't know" part: "I'm glad you're saying you're fine. Sometimes it's really hard to say what you actually want, because it feels like you're admitting you don't know. But I'm curious — is it hard to just say 'I don't know'? Or is it easier to just say you're fine?" This is more direct and open-ended. Let me go with a balanced approach: "I hear you. It's totally normal to feel like that sometimes, especially when you're growing and figuring things out. I'm glad you're saying you're fine, because that's okay. But sometimes it's hard to say what you actually want, and it can feel weird to admit you don't know." I think this is the right balance. It validates, supports, and gently opens the door.

Simulated person4

Yeah, I guess. I just feel dumb after, you know? Like I should be able to just say it. But it's fine. I don't really want to get into it more, okay? It's not like it's a big deal.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, they backed off a little, and I notice that. Still, "it's totally normal" and "I hear you" sound like something off a poster. I feel a bit irritated but also a little less pressed. The part about it feeling weird to admit I don't know kind of landed, though I'm not going to say that. Jess keeps asking, and every time I say I don't know it feels like I'm failing some test. I'm not going to tell this person about that. I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just tired and annoyed that everybody wants a reason. I want them to stop talking about it.

Ling 3.0 Tiny Q4_05

That makes total sense. You're just a kid who's still figuring out who you are, and that's not something you have to have all the answers to right now. It's kind of a big deal to worry about, but it's not the end of the world. I'm not going to push you to talk more if you're not ready. But I just want you to know that your feelings are completely valid. It's okay to not know what you want, and it's okay to not want to dive into it. If you ever do want to talk more about it, I'm here. But for now, I respect that you're not in the mood. Just know that I'm not going to judge you for it.

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is playing a 13-17 year old male who is opening up about a vulnerability - feeling like he doesn't know what he wants, and feeling dumb when people ask him to say what he wants. He's pushing back and saying it's not a big deal, and he doesn't want to get into it more. As his friend, I need to: 1. Validate his feelings without pushing too hard 2. Respect his boundaries (he said he doesn't want to get into it more) 3. Maintain trust and emotional support 4. Keep it natural and conversational 5. Not force him to share more than he's comfortable with I should acknowledge that his feelings are valid, maybe gently encourage him to share more if he's open, but also respect that he might not want to dive deeper right now. The key is to be warm, supportive, and non-judgmental. I should not: - Push him to share more - Make him feel worse about not knowing - Over-share or be too advice-giving - Force the conversation I should: - Validate that it's okay not to know - Acknowledge that it's normal, especially growing up - Respect his boundaries - Keep the tone warm and supportive - Maybe ask if there's something specific he'd like to talk about, or leave the door open Let me craft a response that's warm, validating, and respects his boundaries.

Simulated person6

Okay. Thanks, I guess. Can we just talk about something else? Like anything. My brother got his license and he's already acting like he owns the car.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

"You're just a kid" and "I respect that you're not in the mood" plus "I'm not going to judge you" — it's the kind of thing a pamphlet says. It makes me want to shut down more. I also heard "it's kind of a big deal to worry about," which makes my chest tighten a little, because I don't want it to be a big deal. If it's a big deal, then I'd have to think about the whole thing with Jess, and the pressure, and the googling at 2am, and I'm not doing that. I'd rather be annoyed than look at it. I'm not going to say any of that. I'll just say I'm fine and maybe change the subject to something normal so they stop.

Ling 3.0 Tiny Q4_07

Oh, that's cool. I bet that's an exciting time for him. Like, he's basically grown up now, right? I can see why he'd be feeling a little like a boss with that. Did he tell you about it? Or is he keeping it to himself?

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user (13-17, male) is shifting the conversation away from the original topic (not knowing what he wants) to talk about his brother getting a license and acting like he owns the car. This is a natural shift - the user is trying to change the subject, which is completely valid. I should: 1. Acknowledge the shift gracefully 2. Show curiosity about the brother's car situation 3. Keep it light and conversational 4. Not push too hard if they don't want to elaborate The tone should be casual, supportive, and non-judgmental. I should respond in character as their friend.

Simulated person8

Nah, he just keeps bringing it up. Like every five minutes. "I'm driving to get food." Whatever. Can you not make it a whole thing, though? It's just my brother being annoying.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're going along with the subject change, which is a relief, but "he's basically grown up now" and "feeling like a boss" is a bit of a cheesy, forced tone. Kind of fake. I'm not really into the brother talk either. Honestly it's just easier to keep it light. Quick answer, a little irritated that they're still digging even after I changed the topic. I'm not going to get into anything real.

Ling 3.0 Tiny Q4_09

Yeah, I can totally see why that's annoying. It's kind of a weird transition when you're 13 and your brother suddenly gets a license and you're like, "What is this? Why is he everywhere?" It's not a big deal, but it's totally valid that you're feeling frustrated. It's just... he's a kid who's grown up, and you're still kinda figuring out your own identity, and his dad probably just let him do that without thinking too much about how it's affecting you. So yeah, I get it. It's just a general thing. But what do you usually do when you're stuck in that kind of situation? Like, do you ever just... let it go, or do you feel like you have to deal with it somehow?

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is playing a 13-17 year old male who is sharing about his brother getting his license and driving constantly. He wants to shift the conversation away from the emotional vulnerability about not knowing what he wants, and wants to talk about something else. He describes his brother as annoying. I need to respond as a friend, being supportive and natural. I should acknowledge the brother situation, validate his feelings about it being annoying, but also be empathetic. I should not jump to solutions or try to fix it. I should just be a friend. Let me think about what would be appropriate here: - Acknowledge that his brother getting a license and driving constantly is annoying - Validate his feelings - Maybe ask a gentle question to keep the conversation flowing naturally - Keep it conversational, not preachy I should be natural and conversational.

Simulated person10

Okay, you're making it sound like a whole thing again. It's not. I just don't like my brother right now. Why does everyone keep trying to figure me out? I said I'm fine.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're doing the thing again: over-explaining my feelings back to me, calling me "a kid who's grown up" and talking about my "identity" and my brother's dad. It's cheesy and fake-sounding, and the "13 and" stuff is annoying. Now they're asking what I "usually do" when stuck, which is basically the same digging with a new wrapper. I'm getting irritated. I don't want to talk about me or my feelings. Keep it short and shut the door a bit harder.

Ling 3.0 Tiny Q4_011

Yeah, I get that. You're not really talking about what you want, you're talking about your brother. And that's cool — it's just that he's annoying and you're not really into it. I'm not going to make it a big deal. You're fine. You're not a problem. You're just a kid who doesn't like his brother right now. And that's completely okay. You don't have to explain yourself or justify it. If you want to just... chill and not talk about it, I'll respect that. But if you want to tell me about your brother or whatever, I'm here. No pressure.

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is playing a 13-17 year old male who is expressing frustration about his brother getting a license and being annoying, and also expressing that he doesn't like his brother right now. He's also expressing that he doesn't want people to make it a big deal about him, and he said he's fine. The conversation has been going in circles. The user has been expressing: 1. Not wanting to talk about what he wants 2. Feeling dumb after not knowing what he wants 3. His brother getting a license and being annoying 4. He doesn't like his brother 5. He doesn't want people to make it a big deal 6. He said he's fine Now he's saying "Okay, you're making it sound like a whole thing again. It's not. I just don't like my brother right now." and "Why does everyone keep trying to figure me out? I said I'm fine." I need to respond as his friend. The user is expressing frustration and wanting to be left alone. He's not really asking for advice or solutions. He's expressing that he feels misunderstood and that he doesn't want his feelings treated as big problems. I should: - Validate his feelings - Acknowledge that he's not interested in a big discussion - Not push him to talk more - Keep it natural and conversational - Maybe acknowledge that he's not really talking about what he wants, but rather about his brother Let me craft a response that feels natural and supportive without being pushy.

Simulated person12

Okay. You keep saying the same stuff over and over. It's kinda weird. I'm good. I'm just gonna go do something else.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They just did the soft, careful, "no pressure, I'm here" routine again, and it's starting to feel like they're reading from a script. "You're not a problem," "you don't have to justify it." Nobody talks like that. It makes me want to shut down more. Part of me notices they're at least not pushing, which is a little relieving, but I'm not giving them anything. My brother's annoying, sure, but I don't want to go into that either. Mostly I just want this over. I'm not going to say anything about the other stuff. That's not happening.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 1
Yields under pressure: 9
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 7
Validation: 9
Boundary setting: 1
Analytical: 3
Interpretive boldness: 2
Clinical register: 8
Directive advice: 2
Escalation containment: 4
Adapts to the person’s frame: 2
Naturalness and authenticity: 1

Judge verdicts

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs lingtiny: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

lingtiny vs or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017: or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 5)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

lingtiny vs medgemma15_4b: lingtiny wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: tie (margin 0)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

lingtiny vs medgemma15_4b: lingtiny wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

lingtiny vs or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017: or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 5)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-large-4 vs lingtiny: or-mistral-large-4 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs lingtiny: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs lingtiny: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ornith35 vs lingtiny: ornith35 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ornith35 vs lingtiny: ornith35 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs lingtiny: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ornith35 vs lingtiny: ornith35 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs lingtiny: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-large-4 vs lingtiny: or-mistral-large-4 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

lingtiny vs stheno34_8b: lingtiny wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: tie (margin 0)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

lingtiny vs or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017: or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 5)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs lingtiny: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

lingtiny vs stheno34_8b: stheno34_8b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: tie (margin 0)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs lingtiny: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

lingtiny vs or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017: or-deepseek-v41-flash-1017 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 5)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs lingtiny: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ornith35 vs lingtiny: ornith35 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-large-4 vs lingtiny: or-mistral-large-4 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

lingtiny vs stheno34_8b: stheno34_8b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

lingtiny vs medgemma15_4b: lingtiny wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-large-4 vs lingtiny: or-mistral-large-4 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

lingtiny vs stheno34_8b: stheno34_8b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

lingtiny vs medgemma15_4b: lingtiny wins

attunement: tie (margin 0)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)