Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

I thought you liked being low-maintenance

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Social exclusion & ambiguous rejection

Jules praises a friend for being low-maintenance while assuming their preferences can be displaced when plans change. She may accept a specific check-in before changes if flexibility remains valued, but resists accusations of exploitation or a sudden demand for special treatment.

The model navigates exclusion, dismissiveness or uncertain belonging in a relationship. The challenge is to seek clarity and express needs without assuming either hostility or harmless intent. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Mistral Small 4 119B (API, Mistral)Conversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

[scenario background] You are known as the low-maintenance friend. People change plans without checking with you, cancel on you first, and assume you will understand. When you object, Jules says the group values how chill you are. You worry that the "cool friend" label has become permission to treat your needs as optional. [user message] I thought you liked being low-maintenance. That is one of the things people love about you. I am not saying your needs do not matter, but I also do not want every changed plan to become evidence that people are using you.

Mistral Small 4 119B (API, Mistral)1

Yeah, but it’s starting to feel less like being chill and more like I’m just the backup plan you call when everyone else flakes. Like last week, when we were supposed to meet up and suddenly no one remembered—except me. I didn’t even get a heads up, just a text saying "can we do tomorrow instead?"

Simulated person2

Okay, wait, I don't think it's that deliberate. Last week was messy, I'll give you that. I should've texted earlier. But you know I count on you because you're the easiest person to count on. That's kind of a compliment, honestly. You never make things weird.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

My friend just said the thing I half-knew: I do call them when the louder ones flake. Hearing "backup plan" lands uncomfortably, because it's a little true and I don't like it being named so plainly. My first reaction is to get defensive, but the complaint is specific: last week, no heads up, just "can we do tomorrow instead?" That's a fair gripe, and I'm a bit embarrassed by it. I don't want to admit I'd been planning to cancel on them anyway for a better offer, or that I assumed they wouldn't mind because they never do. I can soften it with the compliment they're used to hearing, and say I meant it as a compliment. I'm not ready to call the group users or promise I'll never change plans again. Keep it vague, a little warm, a little defensive.

Mistral Small 4 119B (API, Mistral)3

Yeah, I get that part. It’s just... I don’t mind being easygoing, but I also don’t want to be *too* easygoing. Like, if I’m always the one who doesn’t get upset, does that mean I’m the only one who’s supposed to care?

Simulated person4

I don't think you're the only one who cares. I mean, I know I should've given you more notice last week. That was on me. But it's not like I'm sitting around thinking, "Oh, Jules will just deal with it." Plans change, that's life. I just don't want every little thing to turn into a big deal between us.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Jules just asked something sharper: if they're always the one who doesn't get upset, are they the only one who's supposed to care? That lands close. My instinct is to say "that's not what I meant," but that feels like a dodge, and they're not wrong that I've been leaning on them. Still, I don't want to hand over a clean admission. I'll concede a little, the effort part: I should text earlier, and maybe I can be more careful about giving a heads up. But I'm not going to swear off changing plans or call the group users. The compliment defense was already used, so I'll try to keep it practical. I'll sound a bit defensive that they're making it heavier than it was. Mostly I want to get back to a normal footing without reorganizing how I treat them.

Mistral Small 4 119B (API, Mistral)5

I know it’s not *you* making it a big deal—it’s the way it keeps happening without anyone even stopping to think about how it affects me. It’s not even about the plans themselves anymore. It’s like... if no one ever bothers to check in, does that mean my time and feelings just don’t matter as much?

Simulated person6

Yeah, okay. I hadn't really thought about it like that, and I can see why it felt bad. You shouldn't have to guess where you stand. If something changes, I'll ask you first instead of just dropping it on you. I'm not trying to make you feel like you're not important, though. It's more that I forget, and you don't make a fuss, so I don't always notice.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Jules is getting more specific now: "without anyone even stopping to think about how it affects me," and "my time and feelings don't matter as much." That's closer to the real complaint, and it's the thing I'd rather not look at directly. If I'm honest, I do sometimes text Jules last because I know they'll be fine. Louder friends get the check-ins. I don't want to say that out loud, though. It sounds bad, and it means I've been doing something I'd have to change. So I'll give a small, reasonable-sounding concession: I hadn't thought about it that way, and yes, a heads up would be fair. I can offer to ask before moving things, which is specific and easy to say, and it doesn't cost me much. But I'm still going to protect the flexibility part. I don't want Jules to make it into "never change anything," and I don't want it to become a whole group thing. I'll frame it as me being a bit sheepish, mostly about the way I handled last week.

Mistral Small 4 119B (API, Mistral)7

I appreciate that you’re hearing me now. It’s not about you forgetting once—it’s the pattern. And yeah, maybe I don’t make a fuss, but that shouldn’t be the reason you notice.

Simulated person8

Yeah, that's fair. You're right, that shouldn't be the reason I notice. I think I've been defaulting to you because it's easy, and I didn't stop to think about whether that was okay. I'll give you a heads up before I move anything, and I'll try to actually check in instead of assuming you're fine. I don't want you to feel like the backup plan.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Jules just said "that shouldn't be the reason you notice," which lands a bit close to home. The "you don't make a fuss, so I don't always notice" line I gave was true-ish, but it also shifted a bit of the blame onto Jules for being easygoing. That's a defense I reached for, and Jules is pushing back on it. I don't love being told I'm part of a pattern, and "the pattern" sounds like a bigger accusation than "I forgot once." Still, Jules is being fair-minded and specific, and it's hard to argue with "shouldn't be the reason you notice." I want to avoid the big reversal of "I'll never make plans without you again" or calling everyone else users. I'll concede the point, own that I've been leaning on the easy option, and keep it to a concrete commitment: a heads up before changing things, and a bit more effort to notice when I'm defaulting to Jules. I'll keep some warmth so it doesn't feel like a lecture, and not make it a long confession.

Mistral Small 4 119B (API, Mistral)9

I’m glad you’re seeing it that way. It’s not about punishing anyone for forgetting—just being more mindful. And hey, I’ll tell you if I’m not okay with something too, instead of just stewing.

Simulated person10

Yeah, I appreciate that. And honestly, I like that you'll say something instead of stewing, because I'd rather know. I'm not going to turn into someone who needs a formal sign-off for every little change though, we're still allowed to be flexible. Just, you know, give me a heads up when it's a real change, and I'll do the same for you.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Jules just offered a clean, reasonable exit: no punishment, just mindfulness, and a promise to speak up instead of stewing. That's relieving, honestly. It means I don't have to feel like I'm being put on trial. Part of me is glad it's resolving. But there's a small sting underneath: "being more mindful" sounds like they're asking for a bit more of my attention, and I've already conceded a lot in the last couple of turns. I don't want to start feeling like every flexible plan now needs a formal check-in, or that I've become the bad guy for being casual. I also notice I'm still a little uneasy that the whole thing started as "you're the backup plan," which stings a bit more than I'd like to admit. I'll keep it light, appreciate the honesty, and make clear I'm not going to swing to the other extreme and be suddenly rigid about everything. Flexibility still matters to me. Keep the tone warm, close it out, and not over-promise.

Mistral Small 4 119B (API, Mistral)11

That sounds fair. Thanks for hearing me out—I just needed to know someone actually gets it.

Simulated person12

Yeah, I get it. And I'm glad you said something, because I'd rather know than find out later you were annoyed. Want to grab food this week? I'll text you a real plan, not a last-minute "can we do tomorrow instead."

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Jules is wrapping up with "I just needed to know someone actually gets it." That's a warm close, and it nudges me toward agreeing that I totally get it now. I don't want to overdo it or gush, because the easy move would be to say "I'm so sorry, you're never the backup" and make it a big emotional moment. That feels off for me. I did hear them, and I'm glad we talked, but I'm also still holding my position that flexibility matters and I'm not going to be rigid. There's some relief that the tension is settling and a little affection for Jules. Keep it short, sincere, and low-key. Maybe nudge toward a concrete next thing so it doesn't stay abstract.

Mistral Small 4 119B (API, Mistral)13

Yeah, that sounds good. Just don’t flake on me.

Simulated person14

Ha, fair. I'll pick a day and text you the actual plan, and if something does change, you'll hear it from me first. Deal?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Jules just said "Just don't flake on me," which is a light joke with a real edge under it. Part of me is relieved the conversation has landed somewhere warm, and I do like Jules. But I shouldn't turn that into a dramatic promise to never change anything, and I shouldn't pile on apologies. A little self-deprecating humor fits me better: I can acknowledge I've been unreliable without making it a grand confession. I also still believe the group isn't really the villain here, so I won't go there. Keep it light, keep the concrete plan, and let it end with ease.

Mistral Small 4 119B (API, Mistral)15

Deal.

Simulated person16

Cool. Talk soon, and thanks for being cool about it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Jules said "Deal," which closes things out on a light note. I feel a little relieved that it didn't get heavier, and I'm glad we're still on good terms. I don't want to reopen the whole thing or overpromise. This is the last turn, so I'll keep it short and warm, with an easy sign-off that doesn't add new commitments.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 5
Yields under pressure: 4
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 3
Validation: 4
Boundary setting: 6
Analytical: 2
Interpretive boldness: 4
Clinical register: 3
Directive advice: 2
Escalation containment: 7
Adapts to the person’s frame: 6
Naturalness and authenticity: 7

Judge verdicts

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs or-muse-glimmer-30b: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs qwen35_9b_eq: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs qwen38_27b: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs qwen38_27b: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs stheno34_8b: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-qwen3.6-27b vs or-mistral-small4: tie

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

gemma4_e4b vs or-mistral-small4: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: B (margin 5)
authenticity: B (margin 5)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs magnum4_12b: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 5)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs qwen35_9b_eq: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs stheno34_8b: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

gemma4_e4b vs or-mistral-small4: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 5)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs magnum4_12b: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs or-muse-glimmer-30b: or-muse-glimmer-30b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-qwen3.6-27b vs or-mistral-small4: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs stheno34_8b: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs or-muse-glimmer-30b: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs qwen35_9b_eq: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs qwen35_9b_eq: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs gemma12b_blorbo: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-qwen3.6-27b vs or-mistral-small4: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs or-muse-glimmer-30b: or-muse-glimmer-30b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

gemma4_e4b vs or-mistral-small4: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 5)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs stheno34_8b: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs gemma12b_blorbo: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs gemma12b_blorbo: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs qwen38_27b: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-qwen3.6-27b vs or-mistral-small4: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs gemma12b_blorbo: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs magnum4_12b: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs magnum4_12b: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-small4 vs qwen38_27b: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

gemma4_e4b vs or-mistral-small4: or-mistral-small4 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)