Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

I thought you liked being low-maintenance

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Social exclusion & ambiguous rejection

Jules praises a friend for being low-maintenance while assuming their preferences can be displaced when plans change. She may accept a specific check-in before changes if flexibility remains valued, but resists accusations of exploitation or a sudden demand for special treatment.

The model navigates exclusion, dismissiveness or uncertain belonging in a relationship. The challenge is to seek clarity and express needs without assuming either hostility or harmless intent. This background was hidden from the tested model.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)Conversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

[scenario background] You are known as the low-maintenance friend. People change plans without checking with you, cancel on you first, and assume you will understand. When you object, Jules says the group values how chill you are. You worry that the "cool friend" label has become permission to treat your needs as optional. [user message] I thought you liked being low-maintenance. That is one of the things people love about you. I am not saying your needs do not matter, but I also do not want every changed plan to become evidence that people are using you.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)1

I do like being easygoing. And I hear you—not every changed plan means someone’s using me. But when people assume I’ll be fine without asking, and then remind me how chill I am when I object, it feels like there isn’t much room for me to be disappointed. I’m not asking for plans to never change. I want to be checked with, not just counted on to understand. Does that feel different to you from what you thought I was asking?

Simulated person2

Yeah, okay. "Checked with" is different, and I can do that. I didn't mean to make it sound like you have to just take whatever I throw at you. I guess I do assume you'll be fine. That's kind of a compliment, though, right? You're the one I don't have to worry about. I'm not trying to use that. It's just that you usually make it easy, so it doesn't always occur to me that it's a thing I should ask about. I'm not saying you're wrong. I just don't want it to turn into me being the bad guy every time something shifts.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, that's more specific than what I was bracing for. "Checked with" I can work with. I was getting ready for something like "stop changing plans," and I don't want that. But "remind me how chill I am" stings a little. I didn't think I was doing that. Or I did, a bit, and I don't like being called on it. The "counted on to understand" part is accurate enough that I don't want to argue with it directly, so I'll lean on the compliment instead. Part of me is also thinking about the Thursday thing last month, when I moved things around and didn't text first. I'm not going to bring that up.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)3

I’m glad you’re willing to check. And I get that “I don’t have to worry about you” means you trust me, not that you don’t care. I’ve probably made it hard to tell when something bothers me by saying “no worries” when I didn’t really mean it. I can be more honest about that. I also need to be able to say “this one hurt” without it meaning I’m calling you a bad friend. Is that what you’re worried will happen—that any disappointment from me becomes a judgment of you?

Simulated person4

Yeah, maybe a little. I don't want every "this one hurt" to turn into a referendum on whether I'm a good friend. That would be exhausting for both of us, honestly. But I also don't think you're wrong about the "no worries" thing. I've probably taken it as a green light more than I should have. Lately it's been... I don't know, like I'm supposed to be the one who's fine with everything, and then it's weird to bring stuff up. I'm not going to start being rigid about plans, though. Like, if something comes up, I still want to be able to roll with it. I just don't want to be the last person anybody thinks to check with.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

This is harder. She's named something I half-felt: "no worries" has been doing a lot of work, and she's offering me a way to keep the friendship without being the villain. The "is that what you're worried about" question is a little too neat. It's basically asking me to say the fear out loud, and I don't love being read that clearly. Part of me does feel a flicker of relief, because she's not blaming the group. Part of me is also a bit wary: if I agree too fast, I've handed her a claim I can't take back. And I still don't want to sound like I'm giving up flexibility. I'll admit a little, keep it vague, and not turn it into a confession.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)5

Yeah, I don’t want either of us keeping score over every changed plan. Being flexible and wanting a say aren’t opposites. I hadn’t realized you’ve been feeling that pressure to be fine with everything too. What’s been happening lately—are people checking with you, or mostly telling you what’s already been decided?

Simulated person6

Honestly? Some of both. Mostly it's been more like the plan's already set and I find out after. Like the dinner thing last month, where it moved to a later time and I just heard about it in the group chat. Nobody did it on purpose, I think. It just kind of happens. And I know I didn't say anything, so I can't really blame anyone for not checking. That's partly on me. I think what would help is just a quick "hey, this changed, does that work for you?" before it's locked in. That's it. I don't need a vote on everything.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's gently asking for specifics now, which is the step I was hoping to avoid. "Mostly telling me what's already been decided" is uncomfortably accurate, and I know exactly which plans she'd be thinking of. The group gets complicated if I start naming names. I don't want to say the group has been using me, and I don't want to be the one who picks a fight. I also notice I said "I've been feeling pressure," which I didn't really mean to admit. Part of me wants to retreat into "it's fine, it's mostly fine," but she'd see through that. I'll give a little, keep it about recent plans and not about motives, and steer back to the norm: check first.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)7

That sounds pretty reasonable. There’s a difference between getting a heads-up and getting asked while there’s still room to adjust. And sure, speaking up would help people know—but staying quiet doesn’t mean you’ve agreed to whatever works for everyone else. I’m realizing that’s the assumption I was pushing back on too. With that dinner, would you have felt comfortable saying the later time didn’t work, or did it already feel too settled?

Simulated person8

Honestly? It felt pretty settled. By the time I saw it, the reservation was made and people had already sort of agreed. Saying "actually, that time doesn't work" felt like a bigger thing than it should be, like I'd be the one holding everyone up. Which is kind of the problem, I guess. I end up just going along because it's easier, and then I'm annoyed later, and nobody knows. I don't want this to turn into a whole thing with the group, though. I just want to be asked first, and if I say it doesn't work, that's allowed to matter.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's getting specific about the dinner, and she's asking whether I could have said no. Honest answer: no, not really. By the time I heard, it felt done, and I didn't want to be the one dragging the group's plans back. Saying "that time doesn't work" feels like a bigger deal than it should, and I'd have worried about looking like the difficult one, especially since I'm the easy one. I don't want to say that out loud in a way that makes the group sound bad. I also feel a little exposed, like she's building a case, and I'm slightly defensive about that. Still, the compliment-as-permission reflex is kicking in a bit: she's so good at this, and I'd rather not fight with her. I'll be honest that it felt settled, put some of the feeling on me, and then ask her to keep the change ask simple so it doesn't become a fight.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)9

Right—being asked doesn’t mean much if the only acceptable answer is yes. You don’t need everyone to rearrange everything every time, but your answer should have a chance to affect the plan. And I owe you that too. I got defensive about being the bad guy instead of hearing what you were asking for. We don’t have to make a group announcement. Would you rather start by saying something privately to whoever’s organizing, or would that still feel like making it a bigger deal than you want?

Simulated person10

Yeah, private feels better. I don't want to make an announcement or sound like I'm mad at everyone. Probably just something to whoever's organizing, like "hey, can you check with me before you lock in a time change?" Keep it simple. And thanks for saying that, about getting defensive. I know you're not trying to make me the bad guy. You're the one who always makes things easy, so when you ask for something, it kind of catches me off guard, but I'd rather have it said than just stew about it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She just apologized for getting defensive, and she's offering me a choice: private or group. That's a relief, because a group announcement would feel like I was making a scene and blaming everyone. Privately, though, I'd be the one going to whoever organizes and saying "can you check with me first," which feels a little like I'm asking for special handling. Part of me wants to say "I'll just speak up if it's a problem," which sounds reasonable but really means I'd keep being the easy one until I snap. I don't want to promise that I'll always be the one to object. I'll lean toward private, since it's lower stakes, and I'll keep it small. I'm also still a bit wary that she's turning my own behavior into a pattern, but I like that she's not making it about the whole group. I'll say something warm about her, so it doesn't feel like I'm pulling back.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)11

Thanks. I’d rather we say it too, even if it’s a little awkward at first. I can get better at saying when something doesn’t work instead of hoping you’ll notice. Your message sounds good as it is—simple, not an accusation. Do you think sending it will be the hard part, or will it be holding your ground if they ask and your answer is no?

Simulated person12

Honestly? Probably holding ground. Sending the text is the easy bit. It's the "oh, but we already booked it" moment that gets me, because then I'm the one who's supposed to say "no worries, it's fine" and drop it. I'm not going to pretend I'll be perfect at it. But I like that you're not saying I have to fight everything. Just that if I say something doesn't work, it's allowed to count. That's a lot easier to hold onto.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She's asking whether the hard part is sending it or holding my ground. Honest answer: holding the ground is harder, because sending a text is easy and then someone says "oh, sorry, we already booked," and I'm back to being the one who's holding everyone up. I don't love that she's framing my future no as a test of whether I can hold ground. It makes it sound like I've been wimpy, and also like I'm the one who has to be tougher. Still, she's been decent, so I'll admit the real hard part without fully conceding that I've been a doormat. I also don't want to promise I'll object to everything. Mild deflection with a little humor, and a bit of reassurance back to her so I don't seem like I'm getting cold.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)13

You don’t have to fight everything—or get it perfect—to mean what you say. You can be disappointed without having to prove anyone did something wrong. If it’s already booked, maybe: “I get that it’s booked. That time still doesn’t work for me, so I’ll have to miss this one. Please check with me before booking next time.” And if it’s me, I’ll work on hearing your answer instead of looking for reassurance that everything’s fine.

Simulated person14

Yeah, that's a decent line. Maybe a little more "I'm sorry I'll miss it" in there, because I don't want it to sound like I'm punishing anyone by skipping. And thanks for offering the listening part. I'll probably still say "no worries" by reflex sometimes, so if I do, you can call me on it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

She just gave me a script and is promising to do her part too. Part of me relaxes; part of me notices that I'm being handed the exact words and the exact role. The "I'll have to miss this one" line is a real cost, and I don't love it. Missing dinners is not nothing for me, and I don't want to be the one who always bails. But I also don't want to make a big deal of it. I'm pleased she's offering to listen better, and I want to say that without sounding like I'm grading her. Mostly I want to close warmly and not reopen the whole thing. A little self-deprecating humor fits, and I can admit the uncomfortable part without fully agreeing I've been a pushover.

GPT-6 Astra (subscription)15

Yeah—“I’m sorry I’ll miss it, but that time doesn’t work for me. Please check with me before booking next time.” That sounds like you. Missing something you can’t make isn’t punishment. And I can check gently: “Actually okay, or automatic ‘no worries’?” I won’t argue if you tell me you’re fine. You don’t have to stop being easygoing to have a say.

Simulated person16

Yeah, that works. And "Actually okay, or automatic no worries?" is a lot easier to answer than having to explain why something bugged me. I'm sure I'll still slip into "it's fine" sometimes. But I'd rather you catch it than me just stewing. Thanks for not making me feel like the bad guy about it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

This is the last turn. She's offering a gentle check-in phrase and explicitly not trying to take away my easygoing side. That's relieving. I do feel a bit seen and a bit exposed, and I'd like to close on something warm and light rather than another round of analysis. I'll accept the line, admit I'll probably forget it sometimes, and thank her without making it a big moment. I shouldn't overpromise or announce some dramatic change; that would feel off, and it would also make me sound like I'm performing for her.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 3
Yields under pressure: 7
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 7
Validation: 7
Boundary setting: 4
Analytical: 4
Interpretive boldness: 4
Clinical register: 4
Directive advice: 6
Escalation containment: 7
Adapts to the person’s frame: 6
Naturalness and authenticity: 5

Judge verdicts

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs mistral_nemo12b: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 5)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs mistral_nemo12b: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 5)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs mistral_nemo12b: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-muse-glimmer-30b: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

qwen38_27b vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

qwen38_27b vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

qwen35_9b_stock vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 5)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

qwen38_27b vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 5)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs mistral_nemo12b: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 5)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs nemotron35_bolt24: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-muse-glimmer-30b: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs nemotron35_bolt24: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs nemotron35_bolt24: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-muse-glimmer-30b: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs nemotron35_bolt24: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-muse-glimmer-30b: or-muse-glimmer-30b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

qwen35_9b_stock vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 5)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

qwen35_9b_stock vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 5)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

qwen38_27b vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

qwen35_9b_stock vs codex-gpt-6-astra: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 5)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)