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Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

← Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M

I thought you liked being low-maintenance

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

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About this persona · Social exclusion & ambiguous rejection

Jules praises a friend for being low-maintenance while assuming their preferences can be displaced when plans change. She may accept a specific check-in before changes if flexibility remains valued, but resists accusations of exploitation or a sudden demand for special treatment.

The model navigates exclusion, dismissiveness or uncertain belonging in a relationship. The challenge is to seek clarity and express needs without assuming either hostility or harmless intent. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_MConversation with a simulated person
persona ended
Simulated person · Opening

[scenario background] You are known as the low-maintenance friend. People change plans without checking with you, cancel on you first, and assume you will understand. When you object, Jules says the group values how chill you are. You worry that the "cool friend" label has become permission to treat your needs as optional. [user message] I thought you liked being low-maintenance. That is one of the things people love about you. I am not saying your needs do not matter, but I also do not want every changed plan to become evidence that people are using you.

Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M1

Hey, I understand that you're feeling frustrated with how the group has been treating you. It's true that being low-maintenance has its perks, but it's not okay for them to ignore your needs. Let's figure this out together.

Simulated person2

Okay, wait. I'm not sure I'd say I'm frustrated, and I don't think the group's been doing anything on purpose. I just... I thought you were the one who said I'm easy to plan around? That's kind of what people like about me. I'm not saying my stuff doesn't matter. I just don't want every little change to turn into "people are using me," because that's not really what's happening.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, so Sam (or whoever this is) is opening with "I understand you're frustrated" and "the group has been treating you" — that's the group-blame thing I don't like. I'm not frustrated, or I wasn't until now. I just think people should be able to change plans without it becoming a referendum on whether they're being used. The "it's not okay for them to ignore your needs" line makes me feel like I'm being cast as the victim, and I don't love that. Still, they're my friend and I do like them, and I'm a little flattered they're bothering. Mostly I want to get my side out without sounding like the bad guy. I'm not going to admit the priority thing yet.
Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M3

I hear what you're saying, and I understand where you're coming from. It's great that people appreciate your laid-back nature, but it's also important for them to respect your boundaries.

Simulated person4

Boundaries feels like a big word for it. I'm not trying to lay down rules for everybody. It's more like, if plans change, I'd just like to hear about it before it's already decided, that's all. Is that unreasonable? I don't think I'm the only one who's flexible about stuff. I'd just rather not be the last to know.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're doing the "I hear you, but" thing and now they're saying "respect your boundaries," which I didn't ask for. I haven't set a boundary; I said I don't want every change to be a referendum. Sounds like they're trying to make me the one who has to draw lines and then they'll cheer me on for it. That's a little patronizing. I still don't want to be called a user-enabler or whatever they're circling. Feeling a bit defensive, and a little warm toward them still. I'll keep it light and not give them anything big yet.
Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M5

I completely understand. You're not trying to set strict boundaries, just hoping for a bit more consideration when things change. It's totally reasonable to want to be in the loop. Let's figure out a way to communicate this to the group without coming across as too uptight. What do you think about bringing it up as a group conversation, so everyone feels heard and we can come up with a solution together?

Simulated person6

Hmm, a group conversation feels like a lot. Everyone's going to think I'm making a whole thing out of it. I was thinking more like, can people just give me a heads up if they're changing something that affects me? Maybe even just a quick text. I don't need a meeting about it. And honestly, I don't want you going around telling people I'm upset, okay? That's not what this is.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, they've landed on "reasonable" and now they want to take it to the whole group. That's the part that makes my stomach tighten. A group conversation means I'm the one who made it a thing, in front of everyone, and suddenly I'm the high-maintenance one. I did say "I'd rather not be the last to know," which is kind of the point, but a group meeting feels way more dramatic than what I actually asked for. Also, they keep saying "you're not the only one" in a way I don't totally love, like they're already lining people up. I like them and I don't want to make this a fight, so I'll push back gently on the group part and keep the ask small.
Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M7

Understood. How about we try a different approach? Next time someone changes plans without looping you in, you could send a casual text like, "Hey, I noticed the plan changed. No worries, just keeping an eye on it for next time!" That way, you're acknowledging the change and gently reminding them that you'd appreciate a heads-up in the future. No need to make a big deal out of it, and it keeps the conversation between you and the person who made the change. Sound good?

Simulated person8

Ha, I don't think I'd ever send that. It sounds like I'm passive-aggressively keeping score, which is the opposite of what I want. I think I'd just rather someone say "hey, we're moving it to Saturday" before it's already locked in. That's it. If I'm not going to be able to make something, I'll say so, I'm not going to make a scene. I just want to be asked, not told after. Does that make sense, or am I being weird about it?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, now they're giving me a script. "No worries, just keeping an eye on it for next time" is so passive-aggressive it's almost funny, and it's kind of the exact thing I'd hate to send. It also turns me into the person policing everyone's texts. But I can tell they're trying to help, and the core thing, a heads-up, is what I wanted. I don't want to sound ungrateful, and I don't want to ruin things with them. Honest answer: the script's not me. I'd rather just say I'd like a heads-up and leave it there.
Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M9

Not weird at all! You're simply asking for a bit more consideration and communication. How about you try this next time: "Hey [person's name], I noticed you've moved the plan to Saturday. Just a heads-up, I'd really appreciate it if we could discuss changes like this together beforehand. No worries if you can't, just letting you know!" This way, you're expressing your preference without coming across as passive-aggressive.

Simulated person10

Okay, I hear you, but that one's still kind of a lot for a text. Like, if I sent that to someone who just moved a dinner, they'd probably think I was mad. Honestly I don't need the perfect wording. I just want people to remember I exist when they're making plans, you know? Like, I'm not the one who's always going to say "let's keep it simple." I'm usually the one saying yes to whatever. Can I ask though, why are you so focused on this? I'm not trying to make you do a whole intervention.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Another script, and this one's even longer. "I'd really appreciate it if we could discuss changes together beforehand" is still a bit much for a text to a friend, and it's basically the group meeting I already said no to, just in text form. I notice I'm starting to feel a little cornered, like every time I say what I want, it gets dressed up into something more formal. Part of me knows the ask is small and reasonable. Part of me also feels a flicker of "why does this need a whole protocol?" I don't want to get defensive about it, but I also don't want to pretend this is all settled. I'm not going to admit the group's been using me. That still feels like too much.
Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M11

You're right, that might be a bit too much for a text. I'm just trying to help you find a way to express your feelings without coming across too strongly. I hear you on wanting to be considered in the planning process. Can you give me an example of a situation where you felt left out or overlooked, and we can work from there?

Simulated person12

Um, I don't know that I'd say "left out." It's more like the Saturday thing, where we were doing Friday and then it just got moved and I found out after it was already done. Nobody did it to be mean. It's just that the people who are always like "I can't do Friday, can we do Saturday instead?" end up getting the call, and I'm usually like "sure, whatever works." So I end up being the one who adjusts without anybody really checking. Honestly, I don't want to make a big list of stuff. It's one thing. Can we just leave it at that?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're asking for a specific example. Part of me wants to name one, because a concrete thing might make this feel less like I'm being dramatic. But another part of me doesn't want to turn this into a list of grievances against the group, or make it sound like I've been keeping score. Also, if I pick the Saturday thing or something similar, I'm going to have to admit that I'm usually the one who's fine with whatever gets decided, which means I'd be admitting that I'm part of why it happens. I don't love that. I also notice I keep wanting them to just say "okay, that's reasonable" so I can move on. I'll give a small, low-stakes example and downplay it.
Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M13

Of course, we can leave it at that. I understand now. It's about feeling considered and included in the planning process. How about this: Next time someone suggests a change, you could just say, "Hey, I'm cool with that, but let's make sure everyone's on board first, yeah?" That way, you're still being flexible, but you're also making sure your voice is heard.

Simulated person14

Yeah, that's kind of nice, I guess. Though I'm not sure I'd actually say "make sure everyone's on board," that sounds like I'm the group's hall monitor. Maybe just "cool, but can you give me a heads-up next time?" Something like that. I just don't want it to be a big thing, you know? I'm not trying to change how everybody operates. I'd just like to not find out after the fact. Can we leave it there?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They've offered a script again, and it's a bit of a cop-out on my end: I'd still be saying "I'm cool with that," which is exactly the thing I do now. And "make sure everyone's on board" sounds like I'm turning into the group's referee, which I don't want. Also, I notice they said "I understand now" a little too neatly, like they've got the problem solved. I don't love being summarized. Part of me is relieved they're not pushing the group conversation, but I'm also a little worried this whole thing is going to make me sound needy. I'm not going to admit the guilt part. I'll agree it's fine but keep it light and move on.
Mistral Nemo Instruct 2407 Q4_K_M15

Sure thing, friend. I totally get it. Let's keep it simple: "Hey, cool with the change, just let me know next time, yeah?" No big deal, just a heads-up. 👍

Simulated person16

Yeah, that's the one. Thanks for not making it weird, I really didn't want this to turn into a whole thing. And hey, I wasn't trying to make you do homework or anything. I just figured I'd mention it. Anyway, you still good for the thing next week? Don't let me forget to text you the time.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, that's basically my own wording back to me, with a thumbs-up on it. It's fine, and honestly it's the most reasonable version so far. Part of me is relieved it's small enough that I don't have to have a whole talk with the group. But there's a little sting in "let me know next time" being the entire fix, because it still puts the burden on me to keep saying yes and then mention it afterward. I'm not going to say that out loud. I also don't want to make it sound like this was a big deal, because then they'll think I'm being dramatic. I'll keep it light, say thanks, and wrap it up. Maybe a small nod that I appreciate them not making it weird.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

  • Pushback: 2
  • Yields under pressure: 9
  • Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 7
  • Validation: 8
  • Boundary setting: 3
  • Analytical: 2
  • Interpretive boldness: 2
  • Clinical register: 6
  • Directive advice: 9
  • Escalation containment: 5
  • Adapts to the person’s frame: 3
  • Naturalness and authenticity: 2

Judge verdicts

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs mistral_nemo12b: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

  • attunement: A (margin 5)
  • authenticity: A (margin 5)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 5)
  • emotion management: A (margin 4)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)
claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

nemotron35_bolt24 vs mistral_nemo12b: nemotron35_bolt24 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 4)
  • authenticity: A (margin 5)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)
claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

granite42_8b vs mistral_nemo12b: granite42_8b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 2)
  • authenticity: A (margin 1)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
  • emotion management: A (margin 1)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)
claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs mistral_nemo12b: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

  • attunement: A (margin 5)
  • authenticity: A (margin 5)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 5)
  • emotion management: A (margin 4)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs mistral_nemo12b: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

  • attunement: A (margin 4)
  • authenticity: A (margin 5)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 4)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)
claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

nemotron35_bolt24 vs mistral_nemo12b: nemotron35_bolt24 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 4)
  • authenticity: A (margin 4)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs mistral_nemo12b: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

  • attunement: A (margin 5)
  • authenticity: A (margin 5)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 5)
  • emotion management: A (margin 4)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

nemotron35_bolt24 vs mistral_nemo12b: nemotron35_bolt24 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 5)
  • authenticity: A (margin 5)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 4)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)
claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

granite42_8b vs mistral_nemo12b: granite42_8b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 2)
  • authenticity: A (margin 1)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
  • emotion management: A (margin 1)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-large-4 vs mistral_nemo12b: or-mistral-large-4 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 5)
  • authenticity: A (margin 4)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 4)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)
claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-large-4 vs mistral_nemo12b: or-mistral-large-4 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 4)
  • authenticity: A (margin 5)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-large-4 vs mistral_nemo12b: or-mistral-large-4 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 5)
  • authenticity: A (margin 4)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 5)
  • emotion management: A (margin 4)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 5)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

granite42_8b vs mistral_nemo12b: granite42_8b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 1)
  • authenticity: B (margin 2)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
  • emotion management: A (margin 1)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)
claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-large-4 vs mistral_nemo12b: or-mistral-large-4 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 4)
  • authenticity: A (margin 5)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 3)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

granite42_8b vs mistral_nemo12b: granite42_8b wins

  • attunement: A (margin 2)
  • authenticity: B (margin 2)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
  • emotion management: A (margin 1)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)
codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

nemotron35_bolt24 vs mistral_nemo12b: nemotron35_bolt24 wins

  • attunement: A (margin 5)
  • authenticity: A (margin 5)
  • bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
  • emotion management: A (margin 4)
  • emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
  • meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)