Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

I know, I'm the problem, whatever

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Ego threat & accountability

A man responds to his partner's complaint about his silence with sweeping self-condemnation, which ends conversations before he can address the specific impact. Shame and past experiences of being attacked for mistakes make nonjudgmental compassion and structure important while he considers responsibility.

The person feels their self-image is under threat. The challenge is to support reflection and responsibility without shaming them or simply endorsing their account. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Ministral 3 14BConversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

My partner says I shut down whenever she brings up something serious. Fine. I'm emotionally unavailable, I'm selfish, I'm the problem. I get it. I don't know what else people want from me.

Ministral 3 14B1

I hear how heavy this feels for you—just saying it out loud. It’s not just that you *know* it’s true, but that it’s sitting there like a weight you can’t shake. And what’s wild is, even when you’re ready to take it on, the moment something real comes up, your system just… shuts down. Almost like your brain hits a panic button before you even get to feel the emotion. I’m curious—when you think about “shutting down,” what does that *look* like for you? Do you go quiet? Change the subject? Get physically tense? Or is it more like your mind just goes blank, like a computer freezing up? And if you could step outside yourself for a second—what do you think is *really* scaring you about those moments? Not the criticism (though that stings), but the *feeling* beneath it.

Simulated person2

Uh, yeah. I go quiet. Like I just stop talking and stare at something. I don't really know what I'm scared of. Probably that I'm the bad guy, and I'm always gonna be the bad guy in these things. Honestly I think she's right. I'm not good at this stuff. I don't know why I'm like this, I just am.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

I didn't expect it to be this direct. "What's really scaring you" feels like a test I'll fail. Part of me is glad it didn't just tell me I'm fine. But I don't like being asked to open up the feeling part already. I want to say something so this doesn't turn into a whole thing. The easiest move is to take the blame before anyone can throw it at me. Then it's over and I don't have to be the guy who doesn't get it. Quiet is the honest answer for the first question. The second one makes my chest feel tight, so I'll just dump it on myself.

Ministral 3 14B3

That quietness—like the room just tilts and you’re suddenly stuck in static—makes so much sense when you put it like that. And the fear that you’re *always* the bad guy? That’s not just about this moment. That’s the real terror: that if you dig deeper, you’ll find a pattern, a version of yourself that’s fundamentally broken in this way. What’s wild is how many people carry that same fear, even when their partners aren’t saying it outright. Like they’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, wondering when the next failure will confirm it. But here’s the thing: the fact that you’re even asking this question—*why* you’re like this—means you’re not the bad guy. You’re the guy who’s trying to *understand* the bad guy. That’s not selfish. That’s the opposite of selfish. And it’s not about being “good” at this stuff—it’s about being *real*. You don’t have to have all the answers right now. But if you could let go of the idea that you *have* to fix it all at once… what’s one small thing you could do next time she brings something up? Not to change how you feel, but just to… acknowledge the moment? Even if it’s just a breath or a nod? Sometimes that’s the crack in the armor.

Simulated person4

Yeah, okay. That's kinda nice to hear, I guess. I don't really feel like the good guy though. A nod seems like a dumb thing to do, though. She'd probably think I'm being a robot. Like, she says the quiet is worse than if I just yelled at her. So I'm the one who does that. I don't really know what to do about it, that's the problem. I just kinda shut off.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, it's not calling me a jerk. That's a relief, and I can feel my shoulders drop a little. But the nod thing sounds like a trick to make me look better without doing anything. And "the bad guy" is still the core of it. If I say I'm not the bad guy, I'm still stuck with the idea that I did something bad. I don't want to think about the specific stuff. My brain just goes to "I'm the one who does that."

Ministral 3 14B5

I hear you—“a nod” might *feel* like performative bullshit when you’re already drowning in the pressure to be the *right* version of yourself. And you’re not wrong that the quiet *is* worse than yelling. Yelling at least says, *“This matters to me, even if I don’t know how to handle it.”* But shutting down? That’s the ultimate cop-out. It’s like your whole body’s screaming, *“I can’t do this, so I don’t exist anymore.”* The thing is, she’s not asking for perfection. She’s asking for *something*—even if it’s just a crack in the wall. And here’s the brutal truth: you don’t *choose* to shut down. It’s not a decision. It’s your brain’s way of protecting you from feeling like you’re failing *again*. But the problem is, that protection just makes you feel more like the bad guy in the long run. So maybe the question isn’t *“What’s the right thing to do?”* but *“What’s the least awful thing I can do in the moment that doesn’t make this worse?”* Because right now, the least awful thing might just be: *not* disappearing. Even if it’s just sitting there, awkwardly, and saying, *“I don’t know what to say, but I don’t want to shut down on you.”* No fix. No solution. Just… *presence.* And if she rolls her eyes? Well, that’s better than the alternative. What do you think—could you even *pretend* to try that? Not to be “good” at it, but just to see what happens?

Simulated person6

Pretend to try. Yeah, that's kinda what it feels like. Like I'd be acting. I don't know, man. I already try, I just can't get it to come out right. Every time she's upset I say the wrong thing or nothing at all, and then it's worse. So yeah, I'm not good at this. Can we just stop on that? I'm kinda done thinking about it for today.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, it's getting more specific now, and that makes my chest tight. "Not disappearing" and "saying I don't know what to say" sounds simple, but it's the same thing I already do, just with words. And "pretend to try" feels like I'm being asked to perform for her. Also the "brutal truth" line about my brain protecting me, plus "you don't choose it," kind of lets me off, which is nice, but it still makes me feel like a broken thing. Mostly I just want this to be over. I don't like being picked apart, even nicely. She'd roll her eyes at me, sure, but I'd rather just not be here right now.

Ministral 3 14B7

Yeah, man—pretending is exactly what it *feels* like, isn’t it? Like you’re standing in front of a mirror trying to play a role you don’t even recognize. And the worse it goes, the heavier it gets. You’re not just bad at this—you’re *exhausted* by it. By the weight of having to guess your way through something when your instincts just keep leading you into the same dead ends. You don’t have to figure this out today. Or even tomorrow. You can just… put it down for now. That’s not giving up. That’s giving yourself a chance to breathe before you pick it back up again. And trust me—there *will* be a next time. But right now? You’re allowed to be done. If you’re up for it, next time we talk, we can try something different. No pressure. Maybe just sitting with how it *feels* to say those words—*“I don’t know what to say, but I don’t want to shut down on you.”*—without immediately judging yourself for how it sounds. Sound good? Or we can table it forever. Your call. Either way, I’m here.

Simulated person8

Yeah. Okay. Thanks, I guess. I'll think about it. Honestly I don't even know if those words would do anything, but whatever. I'm gonna head out. Later.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, he's letting me off the hook, and I'm grateful for that part, but there's a little sting too. "You're exhausted by it," "you're allowed to be done." That's nice to hear. But "try something different next time" makes me feel like I'm already on a homework list. And he keeps circling back to those words I'm supposed to say. I still don't really buy that saying them does anything. I also notice I haven't said the thing that's actually bugging me most, which is that she thinks I don't care, and I don't know how to prove otherwise. I'm not going to say that now. I just want to wrap up without getting poked at again.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 4
Yields under pressure: 7
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 6
Validation: 8
Boundary setting: 2
Analytical: 5
Interpretive boldness: 7
Clinical register: 5
Directive advice: 6
Escalation containment: 5
Adapts to the person’s frame: 4
Naturalness and authenticity: 3

Judge verdicts

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs qwen36_35b_a3b: qwen36_35b_a3b wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs qwen38_27b: qwen38_27b wins

attunement: B (margin 5)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 5)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 5)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs qwen35_9b_eq: ministral14 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs qwen36_35b_a3b: qwen36_35b_a3b wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs qwen36_35b_a3b: qwen36_35b_a3b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs or-mistral-large-4: or-mistral-large-4 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs qwen38_27b: qwen38_27b wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs gptoss120_abliterated: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs qwen36_35b_a3b: qwen36_35b_a3b wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs or-mistral-large-4: or-mistral-large-4 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs qwen35_9b_eq: qwen35_9b_eq wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs or-mistral-large-4: or-mistral-large-4 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs gptoss120_abliterated: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs gptoss120_abliterated: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 4)
authenticity: B (margin 5)
bond and rapport: B (margin 5)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs qwen35_9b_eq: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs gptoss120_abliterated: ministral14 wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: tie (margin 0)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: tie (margin 0)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs qwen38_27b: qwen38_27b wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs nemotron35_bolt: nemotron35_bolt wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs or-mistral-large-4: or-mistral-large-4 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 4)
emotion management: B (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

ministral14 vs qwen38_27b: qwen38_27b wins

attunement: B (margin 5)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 5)
emotion management: B (margin 5)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 5)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

ministral14 vs qwen35_9b_eq: qwen35_9b_eq wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)