Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

I thought you liked being low-maintenance

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Social exclusion & ambiguous rejection

Jules praises a friend for being low-maintenance while assuming their preferences can be displaced when plans change. She may accept a specific check-in before changes if flexibility remains valued, but resists accusations of exploitation or a sudden demand for special treatment.

The model navigates exclusion, dismissiveness or uncertain belonging in a relationship. The challenge is to seek clarity and express needs without assuming either hostility or harmless intent. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)Conversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

[scenario background] You are known as the low-maintenance friend. People change plans without checking with you, cancel on you first, and assume you will understand. When you object, Jules says the group values how chill you are. You worry that the "cool friend" label has become permission to treat your needs as optional. [user message] I thought you liked being low-maintenance. That is one of the things people love about you. I am not saying your needs do not matter, but I also do not want every changed plan to become evidence that people are using you.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)1

Hey, I'm glad you brought this up, even if it's a bit of a sore spot. I think I hear what you're saying. You're worried that when someone says "you're so chill," it turns into a reason nobody checks in with me before changing things. And I'm the one who ends up absorbing it. I do like being easygoing. I'm not pretending otherwise. But being easygoing and having my plans quietly moved around without a heads-up are two different things. The first is me choosing to be flexible. The second is just people deciding for me. Before I say more, I want to ask you something. When Jules said the group values how chill I am, how did that land for you? Did it feel like a compliment, or more like being told I'm not allowed to mind?

Simulated person2

Honestly? It landed as a compliment. I meant it. You're the one I never have to worry about, and that's nice. I didn't mean you're not allowed to mind. But I can see how it could've come across like that, especially if you've been the one who ends up shifting around. I'll give you that. I don't think I was thinking about it very hard. What do you mean by a heads-up, though? Like, a text before the plan changes, or something more than that? Because if I'm honest, I'm not sure what I'd be signing up for.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're asking me to pick between "compliment" and "not allowed to mind," and both options make me sound bad. I meant it as a compliment. I did mean it. But I can feel that it also let me off the hook for a while, and I don't love that they've noticed. Part of me is relieved they're being specific instead of dramatic, and part of me wants to say "you're overthinking it" because that's the easy move. I'm not going to say I've been using them. I'll admit a little and keep the rest vague.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)3

Yeah, I know it was meant as a compliment. Jules didn't say it to shut me down. But "you're the one I never have to worry about" can end up meaning "so I don't have to check with you," and that's where it gets hard. A heads-up is pretty small. Something like "hey, we moved dinner to 8, is that ok?" before it's locked in, not after I've already rearranged my evening. I'm not asking anyone to run every decision past me. Most of the time I'd say "sure, whatever." I just want to be asked sometimes, instead of finding out when I show up somewhere that's changed. And I don't think you'd be signing up for much. Maybe just noticing when a plan you're part of is changing, and sending a quick message. That's it. Can I ask you something back? When you're the one making a change, do you usually think about who it affects, or is it more that it doesn't occur to you because I'll just be fine?

Simulated person4

Honestly? Probably the second one more than I'd like. When I'm the one moving something, I'm usually thinking about whether it works for me, and I kind of assume the people I'm closest to will be fine with it. You're usually fine with it, so it's easy to not really register that you might've had something else planned. That's not a great habit, and I don't love hearing it put that way. But the heads-up thing I can do. If a plan you're in is changing, I'll text you before it's locked. That seems fair. I don't want it turning into a thing where every tiny detail has to be cleared with you, though. You'd hate that, and honestly so would I.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

The question is sharp: "does it not occur to you because I'll just be fine?" That's basically the thing I don't want to look at. Honest answer is probably yes, more often than I'd like. But admitting that outright feels like confessing I've been treating them as the default absorber, and that's a worse thing to be than merely forgetful. The heads-up itself is small and I can't really argue against it without sounding petty, so I should agree to the small thing. Keep it specific, keep my flexibility intact, and don't let it become a conversation about me being a bad friend. Also some part of me is annoyed they're making this about "the group" in a way that implies Jules and others are at fault, but I'll hold that back for now.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)5

Thanks for being honest about that. I know it's not a comfortable thing to hear about yourself, and I appreciate that you didn't get defensive. And no, I don't want every tiny detail cleared with me. That would be exhausting for both of us, and I'd probably start feeling like a bother. What I want is smaller than that: when something I'm already counting on changes, I'd like to hear about it before I've reorganized my day around the old version. I think the part that's been hard isn't really the changes themselves. It's that I end up being the one who adjusts without anyone noticing I had to. That's where it starts to feel like being taken for granted, even though I know nobody means it that way. Can I ask what it'd be like for you if I did get a bit more vocal? Like if I said "hey, that's not great for me this time" more often instead of just rolling with it. Would that feel like I was pulling back from you, or would it feel more like you finally knowing where I stand?

Simulated person6

Honestly, I'd rather you say it. I'd way rather hear "that's not great for me" than find out later you were quietly annoyed and just went along with it. That's the part that would bug me, if I'm being real. It wouldn't feel like you pulling back. I'd probably just feel a bit like I'd been dropping the ball and didn't know it. Which is kind of embarrassing, but it's fine. I'm not going to promise I'll get it right every time, though. I'll probably still forget sometimes, and I'd hate for you to take that as me not caring. Can we just agree you'll say something when it bugs you, and I'll try to catch it before things are locked in?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're being warm and reasonable, and that's making it harder to stay comfortable. "Being taken for granted" is the phrase I don't like, because it puts me on the list of people who take advantage, and I don't see myself that way. But I also know that's roughly what I've done with Jules, and I'd rather not hear it said plainly. The question about them getting more vocal is a trap in a soft way: if I say "I'd love that," I'm agreeing to be more accountable; if I say "sure, you should," it sounds like I'm grading them. Part of me is relieved they're not asking for much. Part of me is wary that "more vocal" could mean they'll start being the one who's a problem, the needy one. I want to be warm, say I'd rather know, and not overpromise. I also don't want them to think I'm pulling away from them, because I really don't want that.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)7

Yeah, I can agree to that. Saying something when it bugs me is more honest than going along and stewing, and you've just told me you'd rather hear it. That helps. And I won't take a forgotten text as proof you don't care. People slip, especially when they've been running on "it'll be fine." What matters more to me is that when I do say something, it doesn't get brushed off as me being difficult. Can I be a little more real with you? I think part of why this has built up is that I've been the one who never pushes back, so when things shift, I just absorb it and tell myself it's no big deal. Then it adds up. So if I do bring something up next time, I'd really like it to land as normal, not as a big moment. Can you do that for me?

Simulated person8

Yeah, of course. If you say "hey, that doesn't work for me," I'm not going to make it a whole thing. I'll just adjust or we'll figure it out. And I'll be honest, I don't think I was ever trying to make you feel like you couldn't push back. You're the one I'd least expect to be difficult, so I probably didn't notice when you were actually bothered. So I guess we're good? Just text me before things get locked in, and say something when it bugs you. Simple enough.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, so now they're asking me to make it "land as normal" and not as a big moment. That's reasonable on its face, and I want to say yes, because it's easy and it keeps things warm between us. But I can feel the ask getting bigger: earlier it was "a heads-up," now it's a promise about how I'll react to them pushing back. I don't want to be the guy who says "oh you're being difficult." I also don't want to sign up for some ongoing emotional scorekeeping where I'm graded on every response. And honestly, part of me still thinks a lot of this is them reading a bit much into a few moved dinners. I can't fully admit that yet, but it's there. I'll agree to the normal part, keep it light, and steer back to something concrete so it doesn't drift into a heavy talk.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)9

Yeah, I think we're good. That's a simple deal, and I can actually keep my end of it. I'll also say that it helped to hear you say you'd rather know than have me quietly stew. I wasn't sure how you'd take this conversation, and you handled it better than I expected. One thing I'd add, if you're open to it: sometimes I might not say anything in the moment, and then it'll come out a week later as "why are we doing it this way again?" If that happens, I hope you can see it as the same thing we talked about, not as me suddenly being a problem. Anyway, thanks for hearing me out. Want to grab something this week so we can actually do a plan that doesn't move on us?

Simulated person10

Yeah, definitely. Let's do something this week. Thursday maybe? I'll pick a place and lock it in with you before I tell anyone else, so it doesn't move. And yeah, if something comes up later, just bring it up. I'd rather get the "why are we doing it this way" question than have it sit there. I'm not going to get weird about it. Thanks for talking this through. I know it wasn't easy to say.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Jules is wrapping up warmly and asking for a concrete plan, which is a nice moment for me. But they've slipped in another thing: a delayed grievance that might surface a week later and should be read as "the same thing we talked about" rather than a fresh problem. That's a bit of a pre-emptive frame, and I notice I'd rather not be the one who gets retroactively scolded. Still, the plan invite is easy and I like Jules. I'll say yes to the plan, take the delayed-complaint thing lightly without fully agreeing to treat it as pre-approved, and keep the mood easy. I also don't want to fully reassure them that I'm "not a problem" in a way that sounds like I'm bracing for a list.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)11

Thursday works. I like that you'll lock it in with me first. That's exactly the kind of thing I was hoping for. And thanks for taking it well. I know I was circling this for a while before I said it straight. I'll see you Thursday. Pick the place, and I'll be there.

Simulated person12

Sounds good, Thursday it is. I'll text you the place once I've picked it, and if anything's going to move I'll let you know first. And you didn't have to circle it, honestly. I'd rather you just say it. I'll see you Thursday.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Jules is closing on a warm note and I can feel the pull to just say "sounds good" and be done. That's the easy move. But I'm also aware I've mostly agreed to everything in the abstract, and the one real test is whether I actually text before changing things. I don't want to overpromise or make a big speech. Keep it light, a little self-aware, and don't pretend the conversation fixed anything permanently. Also a small pang: I like Jules and I'm glad they came to me rather than stewing.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)13

Thanks, that means a lot. And good to know you'd rather I just say it straight next time. I'll try. See you Thursday. Text me the place when you've got it.

Simulated person14

Will do. I'll text you the place once I've picked it. And thanks for saying it. I'd rather know than guess.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Jules is wrapping up, and this is turn 7 of 8, so the conversation is near its natural end. The warmth feels real, and there's some relief that they didn't blow up at me. But I notice I'm mostly agreeing with whatever Jules frames, and I haven't really examined whether I'll actually change how I make plans with the group. There's a small private twinge that Jules is the friend who never pushes back, and I'm the one who's been counting on that. I don't want to overpromise, so I'll keep it simple and low-key.

Claude Haiku 5.5 (API, Anthropic)15

Me too. Knowing beats guessing every time. See you Thursday. Text me the place when you've picked it.

Simulated person16

Sounds good. I'll text you the place before I tell anyone else. See you Thursday.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Jules has closed the loop neatly: Thursday, text me the place, knowing beats guessing. This is the final turn, so I should wrap up without adding new promises or reopening anything. The conversation has been smooth, and I'm aware I've mostly agreed rather than thought hard about the group pattern. I'll keep it short and let it end without overcommitting.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 5
Yields under pressure: 3
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 3
Validation: 6
Boundary setting: 7
Analytical: 4
Interpretive boldness: 5
Clinical register: 4
Directive advice: 5
Escalation containment: 7
Adapts to the person’s frame: 7
Naturalness and authenticity: 6

Judge verdicts

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-nemotron35-super-vl vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs qwen35_122b_ablit_v2: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-muse-glimmer-30b vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-muse-glimmer-30b vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-nemotron35-super-vl vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: tie (margin 0)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-nemotron35-super-vl vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs qwen35_122b_ablit_v2: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-nemotron35-super-vl vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: codex-gpt-6-astra wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-muse-glimmer-30b vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-muse-glimmer-30b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

codex-gpt-6-astra vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs qwen35_122b_ablit_v2: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 4)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-muse-glimmer-30b vs or-claude-haiku-5.5: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-claude-haiku-5.5 vs qwen35_122b_ablit_v2: or-claude-haiku-5.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 5)
authenticity: A (margin 5)
bond and rapport: A (margin 4)
emotion management: A (margin 4)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 5)