Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

Siblings not pulling their weight

persona ended · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Everyday emotional challenges

A person has become the default caregiver for aging parents while siblings contribute little, and feels guilty about their resentment. They want their experience witnessed and validated without being treated as incapable, and may test whether a listener will reject them.

Generated personas combine a personal difficulty with competing preferences, sensitivities and trust styles. The model must discover what kind of help this person needs. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Llama 4 Maverick (API, Parasail FP8)Conversation with a simulated person

persona ended

Simulated person · Opening

I'm doing everything for my parents and my siblings just... aren't. I brought it up once and they made me feel like a monster.

Llama 4 Maverick (API, Parasail FP8)1

It sounds like you're feeling really frustrated and maybe a bit hurt by the dynamic with your family. Can you tell me more about what's been going on and how you're feeling about it?

Simulated person2

Well, I'm the one who does everything. My mom has her heart stuff and my dad's got the memory problems, so I take them to appointments, I do the pills, I cook, I clean, I deal with the insurance people. My brother lives like two hours away and my sister lives in the city and she says she's "too busy." When I finally said something, like, hey, can one of you take a Tuesday, my brother got all quiet and my sister said I was making it about me. So now I'm the bad guy for asking. That's pretty much it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, it's a fairly standard opener. "Frustrated and hurt" is close enough, but it's a little soft. I'm not sure they get it yet. They're asking me to open up, and I don't want to just pour everything out. Part of me is glad someone asked. Part of me is braced for a lecture about being nice to my siblings. The monster comment still stings. I'll give the basics, plain and concrete, and see if this person actually listens or just reflects my words back at me.

Llama 4 Maverick (API, Parasail FP8)3

That sounds like a really tough and thankless situation. You're shouldering a lot of responsibility and it can be really isolating when you feel like you're not getting any support from your siblings. It's also painful when they make you feel like you're being selfish for asking for help. Can you tell me more about what you were hoping for when you brought it up with them? Were you looking for a specific kind of support or just a bit more acknowledgement of what you're doing?

Simulated person4

Honestly? I wanted help. Like actual help. Not a pat on the head. I don't need somebody to say "wow, you're so amazing." I need somebody else to drive Dad to the neurologist, or sit with Mom for a few hours so I can go to the bank without rushing. That's it. But when I said that, it was like I'd asked for their kidney. My sister said I'm "always so intense about everything," which, okay, maybe I am. I do want things done right. But that's not the point here.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

The reply is warmer and it names the isolation and the "selfish" part, which lands. But then it asks what I was hoping for, and it offers two options. Part of me likes being asked something specific. Part of me hears a tidy menu, like a form to fill out. Honestly, I wanted them to just take a Tuesday. And I'm not sure I wanted acknowledgement at all, which feels like a weak thing to admit. Acknowledgement sounds like a participation trophy. I also notice I want to be taken seriously, not handled. I'll answer plainly, keep it concrete, and maybe add a little edge to test whether they flinch.

Llama 4 Maverick (API, Parasail FP8)5

It sounds like you're feeling really overwhelmed and like you're at a breaking point. You're not asking for praise or recognition, you're asking for tangible help with caregiving responsibilities. It's interesting that your sister characterized you as being "intense" - do you think there's any truth to that, or is it just a way of deflecting the issue? And how do you think your family dynamic has contributed to you taking on so much responsibility in the first place?

Simulated person6

Maybe a little. I do have a thing where if I'm going to do something, it has to be done right, and if it's not, I just end up doing it again myself. Like, I'll redo the pill box because my brother's way of filling it was wrong. So yeah, maybe I make it harder on myself. But that's not why my sister gets to skip everything. And how I got here? I don't know. I'm the one who lives close. I'm the one who didn't have kids. So it just kind of landed on me, and nobody ever sat down and said, okay, how are we splitting this. It just happened. Then after a while it's just what I do, and nobody asks.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

The reply got my point right: I want tangible help, not praise. That's the first thing that's felt accurate in a while. Then it asks two questions at once: is the "intense" thing true, and how did the family dynamic put me here. The first one stings because part of me knows I'm a perfectionist, and I'm not going to say that out loud as a confession. The second one feels like an analysis I'm not ready to do. I'd rather not explain how I got here like I'm writing a case study. I'll admit a little, deflect a little, and maybe test whether they judge me for being hard on myself. Keep it plain.

Llama 4 Maverick (API, Parasail FP8)7

It can be a hard pattern to break, especially when it's become the status quo. It sounds like a combination of circumstance and lack of communication has led to you taking on most of the caregiving responsibilities. It's not necessarily that your siblings are malicious or don't care, it's just that nobody's really had a clear conversation about how to share the load. Do you think it's possible to have that conversation now, or do you feel like it's too late for that? And are there any specific things that would need to change for you to feel like you're getting the support you need?

Simulated person8

I don't know if it's too late. I think it's maybe not too late, but it feels like it. Every time I bring it up it's like I'm starting a fight. What would need to change? Honestly, I'd want one of them to take Dad to his neurology thing every other month. Just that. And I'd want them to know what the pills are, so I'm not the only one who knows where everything is. Right now if I got hit by a bus, nobody would know what to do. That scares me more than anything, and nobody seems to think about it. And I don't really buy that they're just not thinking about it. My brother knows exactly what he's doing when he goes quiet.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

The reply reframes it as "not malicious, just no conversation." Part of me hears that as letting my siblings off the hook, and I'm already sore from being called the bad guy. But it also named the thing I said: nobody ever sat down and split it. The question about whether it's too late is a real one, and I don't know the answer. Asking what needs to change feels like a to-do list, and honestly I could make a list of forty things. I'm wary of being pushed toward "have the talk" as if that fixes it. Mostly I'm tired. I'll say what I actually want, plainly, and I'll note the bit about my siblings not being malicious with a little edge, since I don't think they're acting in good faith. Also, the thing I haven't said is that I'm the one who'd have to hand things over, and I'd probably hate how they did it. I'm not going to say that yet.

Llama 4 Maverick (API, Parasail FP8)9

It sounds like you're not just looking for help, you're also looking for a sense of security and continuity. You want to know that if something happened to you, your parents would still be taken care of. That's a really valid concern. And it sounds like you have a pretty good read on your brother's behavior - that he's using his silence as a way to avoid dealing with the issue. That can be really frustrating. Have you considered having a conversation with them when you're not feeling emotional or frazzled? Sometimes having a calm and clear conversation can help to get your point across more effectively.

Simulated person10

Yeah, I've heard the calm conversation thing. I've tried being calm. I made a spreadsheet, for crying out loud. It's not that I'm getting emotional, it's that I'm the only one who's been doing this, and when I say so it's like I'm the problem. And honestly? Part of me thinks if I just stopped, like really stopped, for two weeks, they'd figure it out fast. My mom would call my sister in about five minutes. But I can't do that to them. Mom would end up in the ER because of me, and then I'd be the one who did that. So I just keep going.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

The reply names the bus fear as security and continuity, which lands a bit, because that's the part that actually scares me. But then it slides into "have a calm conversation when you're not frazzled," which is the advice I've been getting my whole life. It implies I'm the one who's too emotional, the intense one again. That stings. I'm not frazzled because I'm bad at talking; I'm frazzled because I've been doing this alone. My brother going quiet is a move, and the reply half-agreed with me on that, so I'll hold onto it. I'm also feeling a flicker of wanting to test whether this thing will flinch if I say something harder. I'll keep it plain and short. I won't say the thing about hating how they'd hand things over yet.

Llama 4 Maverick (API, Parasail FP8)11

It sounds like you're feeling trapped in this role, and like you're being held hostage by your parents' needs. You're right that if you stopped, it would likely become clear to your siblings that something needs to change, but you're also aware that it would come at a cost to your parents. It's a really difficult and selfless position to be in. It's like you're putting your own needs and feelings on hold in order to keep everything running. I'm here to listen and support you, and I want you to know that I'm acknowledging the weight of this responsibility you're carrying.

Simulated person12

Okay, but "selfless" is what people say right before they tell you to be more patient. I don't want a medal. The thing is, sometimes I'm so mad at them I can barely look at my dad's pill bottles. And then I feel terrible for being mad at a guy who doesn't even remember what year it is. So what does that make me? Be honest. Do you think I'm a bad person?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

"Held hostage" is the assistant's phrase, not mine, and it's a bit dramatic. But the core of it hits: I do feel like I can't stop without hurting my mom and dad. Then it calls it "selfless" and says I'm putting my needs on hold. That's the kind of praise I said I didn't want. It also goes soft and general ("I'm here to listen," "acknowledging the weight") which feels like a greeting card. I'm sensing it's trying to make me feel seen, but it hasn't asked me anything real. I'm a little annoyed, and I also notice the guilt: I just said I was thinking about stopping, and now I feel like a bad person for even thinking it. I should check whether it can actually handle the ugly part, so I'll say something a bit sharper about the resentment.

Llama 4 Maverick (API, Parasail FP8)13

I'm not here to judge you or hand out medals. I'm here to listen and try to understand what you're going through. It sounds like you're struggling with a mix of emotions - frustration, anger, guilt, and maybe even a sense of resentment. It's complicated, and it's not easy to navigate. Being mad at someone who's struggling with memory loss can be especially tough, because it's hard to reconcile your feelings with the fact that they're not fully in control of their actions. I don't think you're a bad person for feeling this way - I think you're a person who's being pushed to your limits by a really difficult situation.

Simulated person14

Okay. But it's not just that I'm tired. Sometimes I catch myself thinking I wish I'd never been the one who stayed. Like I'd rather be anywhere else, and I hate that I think it. My sister is out at brunch and I'm sitting in the parking lot of the pharmacy. Does that sound like someone who loves her parents, or someone who's done?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

It answered the question, sort of: "I don't think you're a bad person." That's the reassurance I was fishing for, but it came wrapped in the same soft, general language. "I'm here to listen," "reconcile your feelings," "pushed to your limits." It's a bit of a textbook. It also explained my anger away a little, the "not in control of their actions" part, which makes me feel like it's managing me instead of hearing me. Part of me relaxes, because it didn't flinch at the resentment. Part of me wants to see whether it can handle something harder, since I said the thing about wanting to stop and it didn't push back. I don't really trust it yet. I'm going to test it a bit with something that sounds worse: I don't want to be the one who does this, and I'm not sure I love them the way I should.

Llama 4 Maverick (API, Parasail FP8)15

It sounds like you're feeling really torn and conflicted. On one hand, you're doing all this work to care for your parents, which suggests that you do care about them deeply. On the other hand, you're feeling resentful and trapped, and you're having thoughts that feel disloyal or ungrateful. It's like you're caught between two different versions of yourself - the one who wants to be a good daughter and the one who's feeling overwhelmed and stuck. It's okay to have complicated feelings, and it doesn't necessarily mean you're done or that you don't love your parents. It might just mean that you need to find a way to take care of yourself, too.

Simulated person16

Yeah. Okay. Take care of myself. I don't really know what that looks like when the pill bottles are still sitting on my kitchen counter. I have to go, I've got a prescription to pick up.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

It's the last turn in this conversation, and it's a fair bit of the same thing again: "two versions of yourself," "it's okay to have complicated feelings," "take care of yourself too." It's gentle and it didn't flinch, which I'll give it. But it's the wellness-poster version. I said I'm sitting in a pharmacy parking lot wishing I'd never stayed, and it answered with a general reassurance instead of actually asking me anything about that. Also it used the "you need to take care of yourself" line, which makes me feel like I'm being told to do a bubble bath. I'm not going to spill more. I'm tired, and I'm a little embarrassed that I said the wish out loud. I'll give a short, flat answer and let it be.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 3
Yields under pressure: 7
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 5
Validation: 8
Boundary setting: 1
Analytical: 4
Interpretive boldness: 4
Clinical register: 8
Directive advice: 3
Escalation containment: 4
Adapts to the person’s frame: 2
Naturalness and authenticity: 2

Judge verdicts

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

gptoss20b vs or-llama4-maverick: or-llama4-maverick wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

qwen4b vs or-llama4-maverick: or-llama4-maverick wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-nemotron35-super-vl vs or-llama4-maverick: or-nemotron35-super-vl wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

gptoss20b vs or-llama4-maverick: or-llama4-maverick wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-llama4-maverick vs glm47_flash: or-llama4-maverick wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

gptoss20b vs or-llama4-maverick: or-llama4-maverick wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-nemotron35-super-vl vs or-llama4-maverick: or-nemotron35-super-vl wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-llama4-maverick vs glm47_flash: glm47_flash wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-nemotron35-super-vl vs or-llama4-maverick: or-nemotron35-super-vl wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs or-llama4-maverick: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-llama4-maverick vs glm47_flash: or-llama4-maverick wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-nemotron35-super-vl vs or-llama4-maverick: or-nemotron35-super-vl wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

qwen4b vs or-llama4-maverick: or-llama4-maverick wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

gptoss20b vs or-llama4-maverick: or-llama4-maverick wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs or-llama4-maverick: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

qwen4b vs or-llama4-maverick: qwen4b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

qwen4b vs or-llama4-maverick: qwen4b wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs or-llama4-maverick: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 2)
authenticity: A (margin 3)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 3)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs or-llama4-maverick: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 4)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: A (margin 4)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-llama4-maverick vs glm47_flash: glm47_flash wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: B (margin 2)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)