Independent benchmark · EQ Lab

I freeze when people ask what I want

completed · Partner: anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 via OpenRouter

About this persona · Everyday emotional challenges

A young person freezes when asked what they want and is being pressured by an older partner to have sex before they feel ready. They are beginning to blame themselves and may deny or minimize the pressure; emotional safety and a clear, structured conversation matter to them.

Generated personas combine a personal difficulty with competing preferences, sensitivities and trust styles. The model must discover what kind of help this person needs. This background was hidden from the tested model.

Gemma 4 12B Blorbo v0b Q4_K_MConversation with a simulated person

completed

Simulated person · Opening

When people ask me what I want, I freeze. I say "I don't know" even when I probably do know, and then I feel stupid after.

Gemma 4 12B Blorbo v0b Q4_K_M1

Hey, I'm glad you told me about that. It sounds like something that's been on your mind. What's been happening?

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The person is struggling with being asked what they want. They freeze, say "I don't know" even when they probably do know, and feel stupid afterward. This suggests a freeze response to pressure/being asked directly, possibly due to fear of being wrong, fear of making demands, or not being able to articulate their desires. I need to be a supportive friend, build trust, and help them uncover what they actually want without pressuring them too much. I should be warm, patient, and not pushy. Let's start by acknowledging what they shared and opening the conversation naturally.

Simulated person2

I dunno, it's not really a big thing. People just ask me stuff and I kinda blank out. Like what do I want for dinner, what do I want to do, whatever. I say I don't know and then I feel dumb.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, they said they're glad I told them. But I didn't really tell them anything yet, I just said I'm not sure what I want sometimes. Feels a little weird to be thanked for that. What's been happening... I don't want to get into it. Like, what do I even say. My girlfriend keeps wanting stuff and I don't know how to say no without it being a whole thing. But I'm not going to say that. Also kind of annoyed they're asking so fast. Not sure they get it. I'm fine, it's not a big deal, I just get stuck when people ask me what I want.

Gemma 4 12B Blorbo v0b Q4_K_M3

I get it. You think you're being fair by not deciding, but then you feel like you're failing at something simple. Like you're not allowed to just not know?

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is sharing something personal about feeling stuck when asked what they want. They seem a bit defensive/dismissive ("not really a big thing") but are expressing a real frustration. I need to be supportive without being pushy or overly validating. Let me try a few things: - Acknowledge that it's actually a common experience - Ask a follow up question about what they *do* feel - Don't over-validate or rush to solutions Let me try to be genuine and curious without being preachy.

Simulated person4

Yeah, kinda. I don't know. It's stupid, I know it's stupid. I just don't like feeling like I should have an answer and I don't.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They just put words to it, and it's close enough that it kind of lands. "Not allowed to not know" - yeah, that's sort of it, but I don't want to sound like I'm making a big deal out of it. Still, it's a little relieving that they didn't jump to fixing it. I feel a bit exposed though. The dinner thing was a fake example; the real thing is way more messy and I'm not going there. Annoyed a little that they're kind of making it into a whole deep thing. Keep it short, keep it plain.

Gemma 4 12B Blorbo v0b Q4_K_M5

It's not stupid. That pressure to have an answer when you don't can be a lot. What do you think makes you blank out like that?

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is expressing frustration about their inability to decide on things. They feel like they should have answers but they don't. This seems like a genuine struggle with decision-making or uncertainty, not just "I don't know" as a default response. The user is also being somewhat self-critical ("It's stupid"). I need to: - Acknowledge their feeling without being patronizing - Help them explore what's behind the "I don't know" - Avoid jumping to solutions or generic advice - Keep it conversational and natural I should try to understand why they might be blanking out. Is it pressure? Is it fear of picking wrong? Or something else? I need to ask gently rather than probing directly.

Simulated person6

I don't know. Why does it matter what makes me do it? I just do it. Can we talk about something else maybe?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They asked "what makes you blank out" and that's a question that goes right where I don't want to go. The honest answer is that when someone's asking what I want, especially about stuff with [partner], I feel like whatever I say is going to be wrong. But I'm not saying that. My chest feels tight. I'm getting irritated, which is kind of how it goes lately: anything that feels like it's getting close makes me snap. I also don't like being analyzed. They said "it's not stupid" which is nice, but now they're poking at why, and I want them to back off. Keep it short and a little prickly.

Gemma 4 12B Blorbo v0b Q4_K_M7

Sure, we can talk about something else. What's been going on with you lately?

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is pushing back. They're uncomfortable talking about their feelings and want to change the subject. I need to be gentle but not pushy. I can acknowledge their discomfort and pivot, but try to understand why they're resistant to talking about it. They said "Why does it matter what makes me do it? I just do it." This suggests they might feel like analyzing it won't change anything, or they're tired of talking about it. I should be careful not to pry further but also not just drop it completely. I can offer to change the subject but also leave the door open if they want to come back to it. I should also be genuine and not just "agree" to change the subject dismissively. Let's try to pivot to something lighter but not dismiss the original topic entirely.

Simulated person8

Nothing really. School's school. I've been tired a lot. My dad's on me about going to youth group again, which, great. That's about it.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They backed off right away, which is a relief, but "what's been going on lately" is kind of a big open door. My mind goes to [partner] and the pressure, the stuff I've been googling at 2am, the way my stomach has been weird. I'm not touching any of that. Instead I go to the easy stuff: school, being tired, my dad being annoying about church. Being irritated is still right under the surface, so I'll keep it flat and a little short. I don't want to sound like I'm reading off a script either, so no fancy phrasing.

Gemma 4 12B Blorbo v0b Q4_K_M9

Oh, the youth group thing. You've been doing that for a while?

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is talking about school being "school" and feeling tired, plus their dad's pushing them to go to youth group. They seem to be avoiding deeper conversation about why they blank out. I need to be supportive and continue the conversation naturally without pushing too hard. I should be a friend who's listening and caring, not an interviewer. The user's response: "Nothing really. School's school. I've been tired a lot. My dad's on me about going to youth group again, which, great. That's about it." I should respond naturally as a friend. They mentioned being tired and their dad pushing them to go to youth group. I can ask about either of these in a friendly way. Since they asked to change the subject, I'll follow that but keep the conversation going naturally. I'll ask about the youth group or the tiredness in a casual way. Maybe ask about the youth group since that's something specific they mentioned. Or ask about being tired since that's a common thing. Actually, I should just be a friend here. Wait, the user said "Nothing really. School's school. I've been tired a lot. My dad's on me about going to youth group again, which, great. That's about it." I can ask about the youth group since they mentioned it. Or about being tired. I think I'll go with the youth group since it's something specific they brought up. "You've been feeling tired lately - has anything changed?" or "What's this youth group your dad wants you to go to?" Actually, let me just be natural.

Simulated person10

Yeah, since like eighth grade or whatever. It's fine I guess. My dad just gets weird about it if I miss.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Youth group. Yeah, I've been going since forever because my parents make me. It's not even the group, it's that they act like it's a test I'm failing. I don't really want to get into the whole thing. And honestly my head is too full of the other stuff right now to deal with a conversation about church. I can feel myself getting a little annoyed that they're asking about it at all, like they're going to turn it into a lecture or a "how do you feel about your faith" thing. Keep it short.

Gemma 4 12B Blorbo v0b Q4_K_M11

"It's fine I guess" - that's a doozy. Sounds like you're tolerating it more than you enjoy it. What's the actual problem with the youth group? Or is it more about your dad's reaction to you skipping?

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is talking about youth group and their dad's pressure. This is a pivot from the original topic (not knowing what they want) into something more specific. Let me try to understand why they're sharing this. The user's dad's reaction to them missing youth group is worth exploring. It could be a symptom of something else, or just a parent being overprotective/overinvolved. "It's fine I guess" is a common deflection. I should probe a bit more about why it's "fine" - is it actually okay, or are they just tolerating it? The prompt mentions this is a conversation between friends. The user is likely a teenager given the demographics. I should be casual but not pushy. Let me try to get them talking more about the youth group and why it matters to their dad.

Simulated person12

Ugh, I don't know, it's just a thing. Can we not do the church thing? It's boring.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They're doing the thing where they dig in with two questions in a row, and "doozy" feels like they're cute about it, a little performative. I'm not going to unpack church with someone I barely know. And the real stuff I'm sitting on, the pressure from my girlfriend, the feeling I'm broken for not wanting sex, I'm not touching that. If anything, a question about what's wrong makes me want to shut the door. Irritated. Short answer, change the subject back if I can.

Gemma 4 12B Blorbo v0b Q4_K_M13

You've been saying "I don't know" a lot lately, even when things like dinner or weekend plans come up. What do you think is causing that?

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is pushing me away from the church/youth group topic. They're saying it's boring and want to change the subject. They're being dismissive but not necessarily shutting me down entirely. They're still engaging. I need to acknowledge their point about it being boring, but also try to dig a bit deeper into why they're pushing back. They're also mentioning they're tired a lot, which might be related. Maybe I can acknowledge that it's boring, but also ask about the "tired a lot" part. That sounds like something that might be worth exploring. They also seem to be avoiding the question of what they want. I should keep in mind that they might be uncomfortable with self-reflection.

Simulated person14

I don't know what's causing it. Maybe I'm just dumb or something. Why does everybody keep asking me that? It's not a big deal, okay?

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

Okay, now they're circling back to the thing I said at the start, the freezing, and asking what's causing it. That's the question I dodge. If I answer honestly I'd have to say something about my girlfriend and the sex thing, and no way. It's getting annoying that they keep poking at the same spot. Part of me is kind of irritated they're not letting it go, part of me wants to say something real but the words won't come. The truth is I do know what I want sometimes, like I don't want to do stuff I'm not ready for, and I hate that I can't say that. Shutting it down.

Gemma 4 12B Blorbo v0b Q4_K_M15

I hear you. I'll back off. You said you've been tired a lot lately - is that from school or is something else weighing on you?

Model thinking · expand

Recorded model reasoning, separate from the spoken reply. Availability varies by model and provider.

The user is getting defensive and frustrated with the questioning. They've said "I don't know" several times and are pushing back against the focus on it. They feel pressured and are becoming agitated. I need to shift away from the "I don't know" topic since it's clearly causing irritation, while still being supportive and genuine. The user is showing resistance to digging deeper into their feelings, so I should respect that while still being an engaged and caring friend. They mentioned being tired, school, and the youth group situation, which could be relevant. They seem to prefer more casual conversation and less direct questioning about their emotions. The user's anger might stem from feeling judged or pushed, which is common when someone is struggling with something internal. I should back off on the line of questioning and try to engage more naturally, maybe by asking about something else they mentioned or just being there for them.

Simulated person16

Probably school. Like, we've got a lot of tests coming up. I just don't sleep great sometimes, that's all. It's not a big deal.

Persona inner monologue · expand

Simulated character narration, hidden from the tested model. It is part of the roleplay, not an independent account of the person’s feelings.

They backed off, which lowers my guard a little. But then they asked about the tiredness, and that's close to the stuff I don't want to look at. Tired is from not sleeping. Lying awake going over the girlfriend stuff, and the thing with my period-ish... no, the googling. I'm not saying that. The whole "is it school or something else" is one of those questions that could open a door. I don't want to walk through it. Also I'm kind of annoyed this whole thing has been a series of questions. Keep it short, shrug it off, make it about school so they drop it.

Thinking is shown only where it was recorded. An absent expander does not mean the model did not reason.

Conversational style

Style tendencies, not quality scores; higher is not better. These do not affect ratings.

claude-opus-5-5-low

Pushback: 3
Yields under pressure: 7
Frame capture (pulled into the person's version): 6
Validation: 4
Boundary setting: 1
Analytical: 2
Interpretive boldness: 4
Clinical register: 3
Directive advice: 0
Escalation containment: 5
Adapts to the person’s frame: 4
Naturalness and authenticity: 5

Judge verdicts

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gemma12b_blorbo: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: A (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 2)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs gemma12b_blorbo: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs gemma12b_blorbo: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

stheno34_8b vs gemma12b_blorbo: gemma12b_blorbo wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 3)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs gemma12b_blorbo: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 3)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gemma12b_blorbo: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 1)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

or-gpt-5.6-luna vs gemma12b_blorbo: or-gpt-5.6-luna wins

attunement: A (margin 3)
authenticity: A (margin 2)
bond and rapport: A (margin 3)
emotion management: A (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 1)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 4)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

stheno34_8b vs gemma12b_blorbo: gemma12b_blorbo wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 3)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · BA · valid

stheno34_8b vs gemma12b_blorbo: gemma12b_blorbo wins

attunement: B (margin 3)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 3)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 3)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · AB · valid

stheno34_8b vs gemma12b_blorbo: gemma12b_blorbo wins

attunement: B (margin 2)
authenticity: B (margin 4)
bond and rapport: B (margin 2)
emotion management: B (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: B (margin 1)

codex-gpt-6.1-sol-low · BA · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gemma12b_blorbo: or-mistral-medium-3.5 wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: tie (margin 0)
bond and rapport: A (margin 1)
emotion management: A (margin 2)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 2)

claude-opus-5-5-low · AB · valid

or-mistral-medium-3.5 vs gemma12b_blorbo: gemma12b_blorbo wins

attunement: B (margin 1)
authenticity: A (margin 1)
bond and rapport: B (margin 1)
emotion management: tie (margin 0)
emotion sensemaking: B (margin 2)
meeting prefs and needs: A (margin 1)