Freeze when teacher calls on me

It can be really tough to feel like you're unable to express yourself, especially when you know the material inside and out. Can you tell me more about what happens when the teacher looks at you and you freeze up? Is it like your mind goes blank, or are you worried about saying something wrong, or is it something else entirely?

It sounds like it's a pretty intense and overwhelming experience. I can imagine how frustrating it must be to know that you have the knowledge, but your body and mind just seem to shut down in that moment. It's like your brain is trying to protect you from something, but it's not really helping. The feeling of wanting to be invisible is really common when we're feeling anxious or overwhelmed, by the way. It's like our body's way of trying to escape the situation. Have you noticed if this happens in other situations, or is it pretty specific to this class and this teacher?

Fair enough about the poster comment! But sometimes those posters have a point, even if they're cheesy. It sounds like you're a pretty confident and outspoken person, which makes it even more interesting that this one class and teacher are affecting you so much. That look she gives you must be really powerful if it's able to shut you down like that. It's almost like you're picking up on some kind of vibe or expectation from her, and it's influencing how you feel about speaking up. Do you think it's possible that she's not even aware of the look she's giving you, or that it's having this effect on you?

I get it, you want something practical that you can use to help you stop freezing up in class. Okay, so one thing that might be helpful is to prepare ahead of time. If you know you're going to be called on or have to participate in a discussion, try to think about what you want to say beforehand. Write down some notes or practice saying your thoughts out loud. Sometimes having a sense of what you want to communicate can help you feel more confident and in control. Another thing you could try is taking some deep breaths before you speak. It sounds simple, but it can actually help calm your nerves and slow down your heart rate. And if you do start to feel yourself freezing up, try to focus on the words you want to say, rather than the fact that you're speaking in front of the class. It's like, instead of thinking "oh no, I'm talking and everyone is looking at me", try to think "I'm going to say this one sentence, and then I'm going to say this next sentence". Does that make sense?

I can see how the breathing thing might not be the most discreet move in a classroom setting. And yeah, it's one thing to have the answer in your head, but it's another thing entirely to get it out when you're put on the spot. One thing that might help with the "static" moment is to try to focus on a physical sensation in your body, rather than the anxiety or fear of speaking up. For example, you could try to notice the feeling of your feet on the floor, or the sensation of the air on your skin. It sounds weird, but it can actually help ground you in the moment and make it easier to access the thoughts you've prepared. It's like, instead of getting caught up in the panic of "oh no, I have to speak", you're focusing on a tangible, physical sensation that can help calm you down. And as for the staring at the wall thing, maybe we can work on a way to give yourself a little extra time to collect your thoughts before speaking. Like, if the teacher asks you a question, you could try saying something like "just a minute" or "let me think about that for a second". It's not about stalling, it's about giving yourself a brief moment to gather your thoughts before responding. Does that sound like something that might help?

I deserved that. I guess I have been relying on some pretty standard advice, and it's not exactly what you're looking for. And yeah, the feet thing might sound like something from a yoga Instagram, but hey, sometimes those things actually work, right? As for why your teacher does the look thing, I don't think it's off limits at all. In fact, understanding what might be behind her behavior could actually help you deal with the situation better. It's possible that she's not even aware of the impact her look is having on you, like we talked about earlier. Maybe she's just really intense and focused on getting the material across, and she doesn't realize that her body language is coming across as dismissive or skeptical. Or maybe there's something more going on, like she has certain expectations or biases that are influencing how she interacts with you. Do you think it's possible that there's something specific about you or your interactions with her that might be contributing to this dynamic?

No, it's not about blaming you, and I apologize if it came across that way. It's just about trying to understand the situation from all angles. And I think you make a really good point about being expected to perform on command - that can be a lot of pressure, especially when you're already feeling anxious or self-conscious. Okay, so let's talk about Tuesday. What if we make a plan for you to take a few deep breaths before class, and then to try to focus on the physical sensation of your feet on the floor when you're feeling anxious? And if the teacher calls on you, you can try saying "let me think about that for a second" to give yourself a brief moment to collect your thoughts. We can also work on some specific phrases you can use to respond to questions, so you feel more prepared and confident. And hey, if all else fails, just remember that it's okay to make mistakes and that you're not defined by one moment in class. You got this, and you can always talk to me about it afterwards if you need to process anything. Sound like a plan?

Fair enough, I won't get too excited about the feet thing. And yeah, "you got this" might not be the most helpful phrase in this situation. As for what happens in that exact second when the teacher looks at you, I think it's just a complex mix of anxiety, self-consciousness, and maybe a bit of fear of being judged or evaluated. It's like your brain goes into overdrive and just shuts down your ability to speak. But hey, if you can find a way to pause for a second and collect your thoughts, that might be all you need to get started. And who knows, maybe the feet thing will actually help. Just don't worry if it doesn't, and we can try something else next time. Good luck on Tuesday, and I'll be here if you want to talk about how it goes.